[jessabunny]

My older brother molested me numerous times when I was about 12 years old. I would be sleeping and he would come in to my room at night, lift the covers, and touch me or rub himself on me. I was so scared I would just lay there and pretend I was asleep. It got to the point where I would hide a knife under my pillow and tell myself the next time it happens I would kill him. Of course, I was too scared to do that, too. One day we got in to an argument and I finally exploded and told him if he did ever touch me again that I would kill him. He laughed at me, called me sick... then, he called his buddies over. They stood in my door way and laughed at me and made fun of me. I grabbed my knife and started cutting myself instead. For years I cut myself trying to get rid of the memories and the pain. I told my mom, she didn't want to believe me. She sent me away to live with my dad. I was hospitalized for cutting. I turned to drugs, alcohol, and for some strange reason I craved sexual attention from men. Soon after I was hospitalized yet again... but I was only put there because my dad was unable to handle me. He left me there until my mom agreed for me to come live with her. Things got better for awhile. Until my brother moved back in with her. I kept my door locked, slept fully clothed but one night I heard the lock on my door pop. I laid there silent... trying not to breathe. I felt my covers being lifted so I quickly turned on my stomach hoping he would leave. He did and I heard him lock the door again. I called the police. A detective came out the same day and my mom was so upset. After he left she begged me to tell him that it was all a dream. She said it would ruin his life and he would never get a job. So, I did... and my mom ended up kicking me out. Recently, I just moved back home from Clearwater after ending a bad relationship. I had no where to go so I moved in with my mom. My brother was living in the garage. I woke up one night and found him sitting on the side of my bed with one of my breasts out of my sports bra and my pants just below my waist. I screamed "!!!!" and he got up and ran. I called the cops again. I filed a report but since I wasn't sure he pulled out my breast and they didn't just come out in my sleep... they couldn't arrest him for just sitting on my bed looking at me. *Creep* I don't know what else I can do. We got in to a fight shortly after, I didn't know I was pregnant at the time. He had me on the ground punching me in the face and I kicked him through the front door... and of course called the police and filed a report again. They didn't do anything! NOBODY EVER DOES ANYTHING TO TRY TO HELP ME!! Now I'm pregnant, can't take anti depressants, not willing to hurt myself and risk losing my baby and I can't afford a therapist. I've been stuck most of my life and it's really wearing on me and I want to be mentally o.k. for my child. I'm so tired and I don't know what else I can do. Please help.

[cdad]

How old are you now and who got you pregnant?

[jessabunny]

I'm 23 now and my boyfriend. Luckily we were able to get a place together shortly after I filed the last police report.

[Fr_Chuck]

You get into counseling and do not allow brother near you, call the police every time, if the other incident was not that long past, go to the DA and demand action

[loveone23]

Hello sorry to hear that happenend to you. I have been in a similar situation but he was my cousin a close cousin at that and when I finally got the courage to say something to my parents it seemed like that maybe my mom was in denial the sad part about it isthat everyone acts like it never happened and it still a big part of my life I find myself getting in relationships with the wrong guys and then being depressed because I'm looking for some type of compassion. My situation encluded penatration and oral when I was about 5 all the way until about 7 it happen when he would have to babysit me and my other siblings I feel like I'm scared and nervous when ever I see him I just don't know what to do or who to talk to about the whole situation if you ever need someone just to talk to or relate to I am def available.

[Yuki12]

This happened to me too :(
I was 8 and my bro was 16. After a shower he wuld... do the thing with me. I didn't know it was bad, I was so stupid. But when I was 9 I got the courage to tell him to stop. But to this day, I sobb about it silently on my bed. I hate him forever, he ruined my life.

[mimiluvsu]

Hey sorry to hear about your situation the same thing happened to me since 2nd/3rd grade by my father. He wuld call me into his room and tell me to come lay down with him. He wuld slowly rub me first my arms then my legs then my stomach. He wuld then proceed to put his hand and my underwear and rub me. His breathing wuld get heavier and he wuld kiss me on the lips. My mom was never home and I was to scared to tell anyone but about two months ago I finally told my mom in my 13 yrs of life. I cry every night because of him and I hate it! I HATE HIM!

[Notfairmovingon]

My brothers did the same thing. But I never told my parents. I recently told my dad n he knew since for a long time. One of the recently committed suicide. 4 months ago. Guess he couldn't live w himself