[lmorda]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for two and a half years. I am 28 years old, and she is 26 years old.

When we met, we connected right away. We always have fun, we are always laughing when we are together. She is the sweetest girl a guy could ask for, a real girl next door type. When I think of a great mom and a wonderful wife, I think of someone like her.

But, I am not that attracted to her. And I haven't been since we started dating. I always thought looks are one of the least important parts of a relationship, and I guess that is why I've been with her for so long.

Whenever we hang out it's all I think about. I hate to even say it, but her breasts are really small. I mean literally, she just has nipples. I know that I am no super model, and I have flaws. But, I can't help but feel like I could do a lot better. I guess I feel that way because I have in the past dated girls who have better bodies. I also live in a city where there is a lot of really beautiful girls, which drives me nuts. I feel like I have a lot of opportunity to meet someone that I'm really sexually attracted to, and I feel like I have a lot to offer a girl.

I feel horrible that I could be wasting her time. She deserves someone who is completely in love with her, not someone who is constantly thinking about her breasts when they're with her. If she knew what I was thinking when we hung out, she would be devastated. I feel disappointed in myself for not going for someone that turns me on more and I feel horribly guilty because I feel this way about someone I love so much.

She comes from a great family, she's religious, and she's always there for me. So, I feel like I am ungrateful and I need to ignore these stupid superficial feelings. I tried to break up with her a year ago because of this. I didn't tell her that was the reason, but that is why. I did it for both of us, I didn't want her to stay with me if I wasn't into it. I felt good at first because I thought it was the right thing to do. Then the strangest thing happened... all I could think about was how great her legs are... how pretty her face is... how beautiful her smile was. I missed her soooooooooooooo so much.

We got back together, and haven't broke up since. We even live together. And now, everyone is asking when we are getting married. And the worst part? Every time someone asks me that, all I can think about is her in her wedding dress with no breasts to fill it out. And I feel awful evern thinking about that.

I've dated girls who I thought are really hot, but they are always really mean. I'm not saying all beautiful girls are that way, but I am saying that I have this awesome girl who would do anything for me, and the reason why I don't want to marry her is because of small boobs. I wish to god I could just get over it, and move on. That when she wears super tight shirts, and all you can see is nipples, that it wouldn't bother me one bit. But it's driving me CRAZY. And in the last year or so, we've both put on signifcant weight, so like it makes them look that much smaller. But, I've lost my manly figure as well, so I'm sure she's not happy about that.

And it's not like she has B cups and I'm upset because they're not double D's.. her friends tease her about her boobs all the time, and she tells self deprecating jokes about them because it's so obvious she doesn't have any. Her best friend actually has D's, and when they get together it's like total opposites. All I can think about is how I wish I met her friend instead of her. :(

She said she would get fake ones, but we can't really afford them and they're not the same thing. Fake ones don't really turn me on that much.

The reason why I'm typing this long message on a blog... I have no one to talk to about this. I talk to my guy friends, and they either say just say get her fake boobs or they make fun of me for being so weird. And I don't feel comfortable talking about this with my family.. I feel silly spilling my guts like this, but these help websites always seem to help... please don't beat me up for being so superficial! I'm usually not like that, I don't judge friends or family members or anyone really.

I just am so worried because I'm not that attracted, and it's really hurting our sex life. I just fell in love with her really hard, and the thought of not being with her makes me so scared. But being with her is draining, because my mind is completely focused on her chest. :(

[Just Dahlia]

First I thought you're an A$$, then I thought OK, maybe you really don't know what to do.
Love is not about body looks. You might be first attracted to the look but then... Look around you, there are people out there who "you" wouldn't think attractive, but they are totally in love. Skinny, Fat, big A$$, small A$$, small boobs, big boobs, spare tire, love handles, muffin tops.

What's up with the last thing on your message:confused: with the web site:confused:

[specialk28]

I think your trying to find a "flaw" to focus on because your frightened

[Jlesnik33]

This is a tough one.
If you really love her, and want to be with her, you have to find it deep in your heart to look past her flat chest. Fake ones are not the same, But once and if she ever got them, maybe it would be a little easier on you?

But if you think about this flaw every time you see her and you guys live together, so it must be on your mind all the time. You need to make the choice if you want to live with that, or leave.

This seems like something that's controlling your every thought, instead of thinking about her flat chest, try thinking about everything that's good about her, which is a lot more things, then this one flaw.


Keep in mind, its not her fault her boobs are small.

[Jake2008]

I think that it is a little short sighted to focus on any part of the anatomy of a 26 year old woman.

Babies change a woman's shape, age, gravity, illness, etc. I don't know too many women who have married and had children who have remained exactly as they were.

Those double D's, after breastfeeding, turn into pancakes with wrinkles, and those wrinkles or stretch marks change how a woman looks too.

What I am saying is that it is superficial to think that if you left this wonderful young woman for a woman with DD's, perky only lasts so long, and you may find yourself with an unsuitable partner who lacks the qualities of the woman you have now. But, she has big boobs.

Think of your girlfriend on a scale of 1 to 100. You may rate her boobs at a zero, but her intelligence and charm at 70, and her sense of humour at 90. Overall, I would suspect that the total package, of her, is likely somewhere in the 90's, and would be higher if not for the low score on the boobs.

Is that really so bad?

On another line of thought here, I'm wondering if perhaps your focus on her breasts does not indicate something else is going on here. Maybe she isn't the one for you, and you are looking for reasons to let her go. If small boobs is the best you can do, well, you really don't have a reason to go. But, if it is the thought of marriage, and a long term commitment and it just doesn't feel right, that is a horse of a different colour.

Is it truly about the size of her boobs, or is there more to his going on with you.

[specialk28]

It's very hard to find the quality of person these days that you seem to have found in her. Remember to that as you get older it doesn't matter how large your chest is, how great your legs are, etc. They DO fade. A good heart does not.

[friend4u178]

True Love is hard to find my friend , you could dump this wonderful girl and date hundreds of girls with Big bazoonga's and you would always miss all the good qualities she has for the sake of 1 perceived bad flaw.

Sorry but in my opinion if you really loved her you'd look past it and get over it , I don't see how this could be a big enough issue to finish it.

[talaniman]

I think this is where you have to be honest with yourself, about what YOU want, and then be honest with her. She doesn't have to know about her "flaws", just that your feelings have changed and you want to go another route.

Just give it thought, and don't waste her time, and it will suck if you break up, but if those are your feelings, then she deserves the truth, and you give her that.

Don't you think that's better than having her believe something that's a lie? Give it some thought, and do the right thing for you both.

[showmelove]

To me you sound like a pretty decent guy... you're just torn!

You love her so much but there is no physical attraction and its hurting your relationship and your sex life.. I can see why!

If it was me I would end it with her but on a nice note, let her down easy..
It will hurt for a while because you love her but you will get through it eventually.
There is no point in continuing the relationship if there is no physical attraction because eventually you will get sick of it an become distant and she will start to notice and then she'll feel like s**t.
You feel you can do better and you would rather see her with a guy that is crazy about her and treats her well so its a win win situation...

You get a girl you're attracted to and she gets a guy who's attracted to her!

So do some serious thinking about it, make your decision and go ahead with it.
Stay with her because you love her but you are not attracted to her or..
End the relationship on a good note and the two of ye become truly happy.

But before you do this find out how she feels about yer relationship... Is her whole heart still in it too? Cause if not I think you have got your answer!

[lmorda]

I feel torn. I completely agree that I maybe focusing on that because I am afraid of commitment. I definitely have a propensity to pessimism and feeling disappointed in myself. I am very hard on myself, and I always expect perfection.

But, I recognize those flaws, and I think I do a pretty good job of controlling them in almost all aspects of my life. I've got a good job, it's not great but I am content with it. I am content with where I live, relationships I have with friends and family... but I can't find satisfaction in the one I love. It seems the more I think about it, the worse I feel about myself and the worse I feel for her, because it's totally unfair to her.

I guess what I am hating about myself is, why when we broke up did I completely focus on all the great things about her, but as soon as we got back together I started staring at her chest again? Now THAT makes me feel like I am a total psycho.

I want nothing more than to look past it. I feel like I don't know how. I get so mad at myself, because I feel like how did you let yourself fall in love with someone you weren't attracted to... now look at all the pain you've caused. :( But I feel like I couldn't help it... she's just so awesome, it was so hard to walk away because of such a stupid thing.

[talaniman]

I kind of know what you mean, you're with an awesome person, but the love, though deep, is not enough.

You may have commitment issues, you may just be with the wrong person, but don't keep beating yourself up over it. Settle the conflict by being honest with yourself. If you are not ready for marriage, then you better not do it.

Maybe a "week of fishing" without her influence can give you perspective. That's what males do to get their heads together. Got some fishing buddies?

[Jake2008]

She deserves someone who is completely in love with her, not someone who is constantly thinking about her breasts when they're with her.

I think so too.

Perhaps this has come down to not whether you can 'settle' for her lack of attributes, but whether she wants to make a choice to end the relationship as well.

At this point, I think she deserves to know how you feel about her, and let her decide if she wants you, not the other way around.

It is all about communication and needs and wants. Especially the communication.

I suspect that she already knows something is seriously wrong.

[DoulaLC]

You can love someone but they don't necessarily make the best partner for you.

If it bothers you, it bothers you... hard to get passed something she has little control over.

As was mentioned before, it is the total package and since her breast size plays a big part of that for you... nothing wrong with that and good on you for being honest about it... might be time to let her go so that she is able to find someone who that is not an issue for and she won't feel the need to change her body to please. You too will then be free to find someone who has more of that particular quality. Odds are you will find another really great girl who has a bit more upfront.

[KyleS28]

Boobs are overrated. I had a girlfriend with perfect boobs that cost her her college savings and they were exciting the first time I saw them and then they were just another pair of boobs after that. Also, you'll have to deal with other guys always looking at her boobs.

[showmelove]

Look you have just answered your problem there...
You said :

"shes just so awesome, it was so hard to walk away because of such a stupid thing."

There you go looks like your not ready to move on from her to me.
I think you should do up a list.. pros and cons..
Jot down everything you love about her and everything you don't.. weigh it up..
I think from the sounds of it there will be a lot on the Pros side and one on the cons :)

[BabiixG]

If you really love someone they're imperfections should be what attracts you! =)

[CFZD]

OP,

what do you offer in this relationship then?

Are you a handsome man? What do you do? Do you have good values?

I really think that you are an a$$, sorry to say that!

[jmjoseph]

Let's say that you find a girl who you think is attractive, beautiful even. She has an amazing body. Then one day she is a horrific crash and is disfigured. Will you love her less?

Would you leave her at the first opportunity? Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like you would.

Never be so superficial as to think that a person's beauty is measured by what you can SEE.

And, most flat chested ladies that I've known have had nice bottoms.
Like pearl onions.

And implants have come a long way.

Have you seen the movie "Shallow Hal".

If not, do yourself a favor.

[Devorameira]

I think you're probably a great guy. Maybe you love her (in a way), but it's obvious that you're not "in love" with her.

If you’re not attracted to her then let her go. I think you'll find out later in life that boobs are just superficial. But for right now, they do play a part in your relationship. If it’s affecting your attraction to her, it will effect other things as well eventually.

If you aren't 100% sure you want to marry your girlfriend or aren't satisfied, then go and find what you are looking for.

Your girlfriend deserves to be with someone who loves her unconditionally and who isn’t “turned off” because of her small boobs. If I had a boyfriend who felt like this, I would want him to let me go. Because, in the long run, you will either make her miserable or you will end up cheating.

[qwerty89]

You are worthless, it's men like you that make women like me want to die. Well done for being a dumb sheep, brainwashed by the media into only finding big breasts a turn on. The preasure on women to have these big breasts is sickening, I seriously considered suicide after how awful my ex made me feel, how unattractive I felt because I only had b cup boobs. But you know what? Some of the HOTTEST people I can think of have small boobs and are ADORED by millions of men.. Jessica Alba, Sienna Miller, Milla Jovovich.. so this big breast obsession is your stupid problem and guess what, if you go for a 'hot' girl that has the massive balloons you so much 'need,' then isn't that just great; you'll say you love them, but ultimatly you'll only love them for there fat sacks of meat hanging from their chests. Nice. To other men you're girlfriend is probably very sexually attractive, so do her a favour and leave her be, because surprising to you, SHE could do way better than you. As for you, why don't you go visit a prostitute :] That's all.