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confused111 · Apr 28, 2010, 04:13 PM

I went out on a 1st date for a drink with a guy that I met online. I think the date went well for both of us. When we parted ways, he said "We should do this again sometime" and I said "yeah". Then we hugged each other good-bye. 2 days later, I texted him to say "I had a great time with you the other day, I would like to get to know you better, enjoy your trip out east (he is travelling for the weekend) and I'm looking forward to seeing you again." 5 minutes later, he texted me back to say "I'm looking forward to spending more time with you as well. I've enjoyed getting to know you. Try and pencil me in somewhere in your day time when I get back :-)." I replied and said "I think I'd like that. Let me know when you are back :)". He replied and said "I'll be back Sunday evening. So maybe early next week sometime. I'll give u a call." I replied and ended it with "ok have fun!".

Today is now Wednesday (he came back Sunday night) and I haven't heard from him. My QUESTIONS are: 1) What does he mean by all that he said to me about spending time, etc. 2) Is he going to call? And lastly 3) What should I do at the moment?

Your comments/opinions are much appreciated! :)

ChihuahuaMomma · Apr 28, 2010, 04:40 PM

You should not get your hopes up based on one date with someone you just met. If he doesn't call, who cares? Big loss. If he does, cool. Maybe he's really busy. Maybe he has a good reason.

alesha8781 · Apr 28, 2010, 04:46 PM

I would assume if he didn't want to see you again he would have just ignored your texts. Since he actually told you when he would be back and he wanted to see you, he probably does. Men usually don't ask you to pencil them into your schedule if they don't mean it. Does he have a job? He may be catching up something at the office. Possibly there was a family emergency. He wouldn't feel obligated to tell you since you only went on one date. I would give it until Saturday or Sunday and send another text. "Hey, hope your trip went well. Want to tell me all about it at dinner tomorrow?" Asking a direct question like that will most likely get you a direct answer. I wouldn't ask him why he didn't call you yet because it might seem to him like you are nagging (men have such a funny way of viewing things we ask) If he answers you then great! Enjoy your date!! If you don't get a reply within 24 hours after that, I think I would cast my line back into that proverbial pool of fish.

Hope I was of some help to you, let us know what happens. And please, be careful meeting people online.

confused111 · Apr 28, 2010, 06:17 PM

Thanks for the suggestions alesha!
Would love to hear more opinions :)

talaniman · Apr 28, 2010, 11:38 PM

Well obviously you broke up with the last guy, so you haven't been single that long, so maybe your moving to fast, and expecting too much, and need some YOU time before you get back into dating, because you certainly seem to be getting all worked up after ONE date.

Be cool, and relax, and get something fun to do, and if he is to busy to call/text, his loss. But don't call him again. You met him, you will meet another. But be single for a while, and learn how to enjoy being by yourself for a change.

You don't trip off a stranger that you met online, especially a busy one.

Devorameira · Apr 29, 2010, 06:25 AM

You've only been on one date and you've already thanked him for it.

Just stay calm and wait on him to contact you. He told you he'd call you, so the balls totally in him court.

Jake2008 · Apr 29, 2010, 06:58 AM

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Today is now Wednesday (he came back Sunday night) and I haven't heard from him. My QUESTIONS are: 1) What does he mean by all that he said to me about spending time, etc.? 2) Is he going to call? and lastly 3) What should I do at the moment

To answer your questions:

1. Nobody knows but the person who said the words. He might be thinking, nice girl, but I'll go with door #2.

2. Give it a few more days, and don't look like you are pushy or needy by contacting him.

3. Accept that he may or may not call. Expect the best, but be prepared for the worst.

talaniman · Apr 29, 2010, 07:35 AM

Could he have more online dates lined up? I surely would. Maybe so should you. Then you wouldn't care if he called or not, so wouldn't be disappointed if he doesn't.

confused111 · Apr 29, 2010, 06:55 PM

Wow! Thanks for the advise :) I'm just really confused by his words and his actions (or lack of)...

Wondergirl · Apr 29, 2010, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by confused111

wow! thanks for the advise :) I'm just really confused by his words and his actions (or lack of)...

Guys can get really "busy" doing whatever guys do. So -- you get busy too. Read a book, watch The Office or American Idol on TV, work on a jigsaw puzzle, start volunteering at an animal shelter. That way, if he calls you, you'll have something interesting to talk about. If he doesn't call you, someone else will, and you will have something interesting to talk about. The main thing is you and taking care of yourself and being happy with who you are.

Gemini54 · Apr 29, 2010, 09:48 PM

I hate to rain on your parade, but my husband did the on-line dating thing before I met him. At one count he was going through a list of 8 women in the space of about a fortnight.

I think that you should be realistic. You don't know this guy. Guys sometimes say things they don't mean - not because they want to be dishonest, but because they want to be nice and let you down kindly, or because it's the easiest thing to say.

Accept that he might not call. He may well be otherwise occupied. Given my husband's experience you would be astonished at what some women do on the first date!

Perhaps you need to be seeing a few more guys as well? But, as alesha said, take care.