[mandersmo]

I met my ex at work in 2004. He had started exactly a week before me. I thought he was cute, but someone had told me he had been engaged for like a month or so. I thought to myself 'oh darn' I had no motive to go and bust them up. Him and I talked at work and eventually through emails and eventually on the phone. 9 months passed and we had become really good friends. He called me one day to tell me he had broken up with his girlfriend because she lied to him and to this day I believe she cheated on him. Him and I got together a little less than a month later. We seemed to be going good until August 2004 his mom told me he was hanging out with his ex for the past 2 weeks. Then in October I found out they had slept together again and she got pregnant but miscarried. Trust issues FLARED but after time I realized I was partially at fault for moving too fast. When he looked my parents in the eye and told them he really wanted to be with me, I felt more at ease. Over the next couple years we bickered a lot and got in more fights than we wanted. I felt better though because his ex girlfriend joined the army, met some guy got married and now have a baby. We'd fight for 5 hours straight and then we'd finally realize how stupid we're being and then just make up. At times in the heat of the moment if he would say really horrible things to hurt my feelings, I would slap him. I wasn't raised to believe in physical violence, I idont know what came over me, and I to this day feel so bad. He dumped me on this past mothers day (2007) and I found out about 4 nights ago that since the break up he's spent some time with his ex. Who's home (dont know for how long) with her baby. She got on the phone and was telling me to not be mad, her and him are strictly friends blah blah blah. I really wanted to hang up on her and scream, but I figured why would she want to talk to me if me and him are broken up? She explained to me that when they were together they were always able to talk. And that's what they're doing now. She said he'd been explaining to her the way things were going and she said part of it was the physical stuff that he got sick of. I feel so bad. Her and I made small talk, she told me she could tell he still loved me and that he cried and that she told him I deserved a chance to fix things because everyone deserves a chance to learn and fix their mistakes. She also told me a couple times that if she wanted him back she wouldn't be talking to me. I don't trust her, because its weird, but I'm willing to listen to her if she's going to take time out of her life to tell me that there's nothing going on between them because she could have him at any moment since we are after all, broken up "for now". I think he's really confused. He doesn't really have any real close friends that he tells things to. He makes it a point to come see me at work, I can tell he's still interested, I just don't know how to handle things because every one I talk to tells me we were a really cute couple. Together almost 3 years I wish he wouldn't give up. I know he needs his space because we both smothered each other and jealousy was one of our biggest issues. Do you think he'll come back?

[Rockabilly1955mama]

From what it seems, he still has feelings towards his ex.
He might come back. Just give him some time, and I think you need some space from all of that for now. Just so you two can get your head cleared and start over.

Best of luck to you my dear.

[emopunk7]

Tell him you would like to talk about things... If he denies, move the heck on!

[talaniman]

Your giving him a lot of excuses, but the bottom line is he has a lot of responsibilities with his ex and she may be friendly but her first priority is her child and the child's welfare. Not only did you move to fast but you jumped in when he was at his low point so no wonder he is confused now loking at the mess he has made around him. Back off and let those two handle their business with no pressure from you and you get your own life back without him. Until all the dust settles, you all will be confused.

[mandersmo]

The thing is, I started talking to my other ex too, and now that my present ex knows of it, I don't know if he's jealous or not, he does ask questions like if I drank when I went out or how the other night was or if I had fun. One night he called and I didn't pick up because I was at a party and my phone was broken, so he called the next morning at 5 am on his way to work. And yesterday I whispered something dirty in his ear just playing around and he laughed, and I told him I missed so many things about him, and I went to kiss him and he turned his cheek and his head was slightly bent so I sucked on his earlobe and it gave him goosebumps. Then he looked around and saw no one around so he planted one on me. Then out on our breaks we were sitting on the sidewalk and I kissed him and laid my head on his shoulder and he kissed my forehead and then kissed me. It was like a 5 second makeout session almost. He asked me if it was good and I smiled. But later on at night I got in a fight with my mom and called him because I didn't know who else to talk to, and he was telling me to go home and straighten things out with her, and I was crying and everything and I broke down to him about us and that I deserved another chance and he said he didn't know if he could give it to me. whats holding him back???

[talaniman]

He doesn't want what you want. You want the relationship back, and he isn't going that route, and if you keeping talking to him and making out, why should he come back to you? You are there for the taking on his terms, not yours. Quit making out with him! Quit talking to him! Then the confusion will go away, and he can't use you any more. If he loved you he would be there for you. Right?? He doesn't, and you can't make him, so don't be his fool. Leave him alone, and get your life back, and learn to be happy without him.

[Stunning07]

Just give him his space, sorry to say but if he still has feelings for his ex, don't you think... you're his rebound? You should start NC when he does figure out what he wants he'll come around