[sphx26]

I had an online long distance relationship with this girl and it ran for a good 7 months or so. Anyway, she found someone new and I had to find out about it from a friend. I found out myself and I am deeply hurt,I couldn't believe she lied and cheated on me since we've always talked about how we are supposed to be "honest" with each other if someone finds a new interest there.

She broke up with me about two months before she and this girl are officially together but as I've noticed, it had been going on way back around 4 or 5 months ago! After the breakup I tried to remain friends with her (I think because I was still shocked of what happened so I tried to hold on) but every time I talk to her as a friend, I can't help but think how she lied to me and I was starring to hate myself for dealing with someone like her, thus, I told her I can't do the friendship thing anymore. (Although I really don't want to throw everything away and would like to be her friend). So I am doing the No contact thing for 4 days now, and I feel better,although it still hurts and I still cry every now and then.

The only thing I'm thinking right now is we kind of ended in a good note, ironic as it seems to be. She says she understands I need time off and that she's hoping to hear from me in the future. Did she really mean this? And will it be right to be in contact with her in the future? If so, then what for? She was never a friend to start with, when we're on IM, I am always the one who initiates contact. So,is there reason for me to contact her in the future, after I forgive her (If I could) about what happened? Should I contact her first or should I wait for her to contact me?

[bloooooper7]

I'm not one of these experts but try not to think about future contact. I was doing the same thing, thinking about contacting my ex and stuff. But really you're just trying to hold onto something that's not there anymore. If she cheated, she doesn't deserve your attention.

Trust me I kept contact with my ex with the same intentions as you for a month and a half after we broke up (she cheated) and I was miserable. It's been 3 weeks now since I started NC and I feel a lot better.

Just go NC and live your life. Everything will be fine :].

[sphx26]

Thank you. It's good to know that I am not alone in this.. Sometimes, the pain just becomes too much, and I am left with no choice but use all my strength to move on.

[amicon]

Painful as it is,you move on because you have to.

Forget being friends and stay no contact.

Concentrate on you and your healing from the breakup and the ex cheating on you.

Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page for more advice on how to handle a breakup.
.
It does get better,time works wonders.

[sphx26]

Thank you, yes, I will just let time heal the pain, this time, without her distraction..

[Showme_urmove]

If someone cheated, the best way to do is run as fast as you can and don't let them be in your life again. She doesn't deserve any news from you, she lied and cheated, I rather have someone cheated on me and tiling me the same day then someone cheating on me and trying to hide it. She is nasty for your future and you need to know that you don't deserve second best. KNow you deserve nothing but the best and keep that note in your head at all times, when you start thinking about her start thinking that you deserve someone better and she is waist your time. Good luck heart breaks is always the hardest thing to feel. But everyone here got through it.

[sphx26]

Yes, thank you for understanding. I know I will find someone better than her, someday..

[bloooooper7]

Go read some of the cheater stories on here as well. It helped me.

And at the end of the day you kept your integrity. You should be proud of that. And that won't be lost on her either.

[sphx26]

Thanks, I will! Well, I feel a little stupid though because I actually said "I can't be your friend now, but maybe in the future" and she says she "hopes to hear from you again" so now I don't know if I should be the one to contact her when I feel that I have healed or wait for her to contact me?

I know you all said that I should forget about being friends but I really do not want to throw everything away,and since we ended on a good note, except for her cheating on me and lying about it. Arrrgh my head is so messed up right now..

[bloooooper7]

Don't worry about contacting right now. Just make sure u don't talk to her and get your head straight. Do you really want to hear about her new relationships or how she's doing this and that now? She cheated and lied. She can't be your friend. I know your trying to hold on to what you thought you had. But your going to see through her bs now. And soon you won't even care.

I did the same thing. I talked to my ex a month after we broke up and didn't want it to end on a bad note because I wanted her to remember me with fondness. So we had this weird thing where we'd talk about the good times and she'd try to reel me back in but I saw through her bs. And it ended up prolonging my agony.

She's not who you thought she was. Just get over the hump and you will see that. Lots of fish in the sea who won't completely disregard your feelings for their own selfish gain :].

[sphx26]

OMG that's what I had just done, talked to her for a month or so after she dumped me until I kept being reminded of her lies and told her I cannot be her friend anymore.

Thank you so much, blooooper7, I will make sure I don't break the No Contact rule.Sometimes it gets too hard though,I'm on my 4th Day now.How do you go over the hump and keep the NC? How long has it been since you last made contact? Thank you for sharing your experiences, I feel a little better now. :D

[bloooooper7]

Glad you feel better :). I see you found my story too. Cheaters suck lol. Just keep your head up and stay nc. Use the stickies like a bible, read similar stories and vent here. It's an awesome place to come when you can't or don't have people to talk about it with. I'm off to bed but your story is kind of like mine so I'll keep reading and responding, maybe I can help you out some :).

[sphx26]

Haha! Ditto! Cheaters suck! Well,I believe karma comes though, so good luck to her when her time comes! Lol
I'm glad I found this site. :)

[sphx26]

Guys It's my 5th day of NC and I feel so proud of myself already,lol. It helps to have a bunch of friends to support you on this,plus, one of my exes is my friend and she supports me on this: taking my mind off from that girl by distracting me with things to do. :D

I'll beon hiatus from the virtual world for a few weeks to clear my mind off. As we all know, the internet has been a part of our lives, so I need to take a break from that too. I will check back on this after a few weeks.

For the mean time, feel free to drop me a comment ;) Oh and a shoutout to those going on NC: Know that you are not alone,we're in this together. Just have a strong mind and concentrate on better things XD

[alcatron]

NC is great, it gets better with each day. I actually went through a breakup, then contacted 1-2 times, and made things worse. Now on NC for a long time 30days+
Block MSN/FB/dont look at anything or think of past and it gets easier

[sphx26]

Hi guys,
Just thought I'd drop by. Yes, it does get better each day that we are on NC. It's ironic because I hadn't thought I could never stand not hearing from her, but hey, I'm glad I'm wrong. :D

[WontQuitHer]

Yup I just started no contact, my live in girlfriend of 4 years told me she needed to figure things out. She was recently dx'd with Multiple Sclerosis and was devastated. I told her I'd be there for her, but I couldn't remain friends while she goes out and dates. She told me she doesn't want to date, she just wants to go out and forget. She told me that when she broke up with me, she didn't close the door, she just needs time to figure things out. I told her I understand and that I was glad for the breakup, as I didn't want to continue a relationship that wasn't real. We've been apart for about 1 month, the only contact was "when are you getting your stuff out" and now that she is moving out, we met and talked, had dinner. I could tell she was impressed as I did not whine, cry or beg (NO WAY). I have changed my outlook on life, I eat healthy, exercise and changed my attitude to remove my negative thoughts about my previous employer (big drama), but I went for help and was able to put that behind me. I thanked her for the breakup as if it wasn't for that I would not have made any effort to fix things. I was a heart attack/stroke waiting to happen and she was scared that I'd get so stressed out and have a heart attack. She told me that she could tell I am better, she was telling me that I looked good, healthy, and happy. She did tell me that the "door is still open" on our relationship, she just needs space to sort things out. I asked her with the problems we talked about, did she think those were not repairable? Did we have more good or bad times together. She told me that the problems were small and could be repaired, and we surely had more good than bad times. That's a good sign, but honestly... I like the break, I want to get me together first and since we were planning on getting married this year, I want to make sure she's the "one" -- I don't want to get divorced, or regret that we never took a break to see if it was real or just convienent. She did say that I could contact her if I wanted, I told her that I would only contact her if there was any emergency i.e... death, hospital etc. She said I know, but you can call anytime if you want to talk. I told her, with all the stuff going on in her life, if she felt overwhelmed she could call and talk also. I am not going to call just to say hi and chit chat. I have no problem investing some away time, to figure out if we have a future together.