[Lyons]

My husband and I would like to have a second child but we don't know when to start our first is only about 6 months right now. We want them to be close but not crazy close. We where wondering if it's a good time to start and possibly what we could have?

[J_9]

It is best if you let your body rest for a year to 18 months. You want to be healthy for your pregnancy don't you? Of course you do. It takes a while for your body to return to a normal state of health after having a baby.

What I mean by normal is not visible. Normal includes things like your homone levels getting back to normal, etc. Being pregnant really takes a lot more out of you than you imagine and it take considerable time for these natrually forming chemicals in your body to adjust after delivery.

Let me mention also, are you breastfeeding? If so, you need to wait even longer. A woman who breastfeeds keeps her body in a "pregnancy" condition since all the nutrients are going to the milk. I could go on and on. Pregnancy before and after is a whole 6 week course at school. I am just giving the Cliff Notes version.

That said... You should probably wait 6 more months if you are not breastfeeding and, if you are, you should wait 6 months after you stop breastfeeding.

[tinkerbell77]

I don't know about the physical part of your body. So I would defintally take J_9's advise. About weather they are too close. I will tell you, my two boy's are one year and 2 weeks apart. It is a little crazy close. And a lot of work when they were little. If it wasn't one crying it was the other. I sometimes wonder if that's what having twins feels like?
But as for the age gap between the two of them. Now that they are older, it's the greatest thing. They have a live in play mate all the time! They are the best of buddies. I'm now having my 3rd and there will be a 8 and 9 year age gap. I keep wondering if that is to large of a age gap. But everyone keeps saying, that it all works out no matter how far you space them. It's definitely a personal preference. But I'd look in to the physical stress your body takes on. I didn't end up gaining enough weight when I got pregnant with my second. And the delivery was hard. He was healthy, but it took a toll on my body and after the birth of my second I was extremely under weight for about 2 years.

Good luck!

[NeedKarma]

Just to throw a different view on it all. Our kids are 4 years apart (2 and 6) and we are loving the spacing. The older one can help out and play with the younger one who's speech is developing more quick because of his older sister. It's sad that they won't be in the same school together but you can't have it all. :)

[buggage]

Having them farther apart might help with the jealousy factor as well. When your oldest is old enough to want to help, and likes the fact of being an older brother/sister. Then when the new baby comes, you can put emphasis on how lucky the younger one will be to have such a wonderful and helpful, loving older sibling, and how proud you are of them and the big helper they are, and how much they can teach the younger. If you begin this during your pregnancy, by the time the baby comes, the older sibling will be more excited then nervous and jealous, and will feel proud to be a big brother/sister. Sometimes the older can feel neglected and less special when mommy is pregnant, and everyone keeps asking about the big bump on her belly.And when you have them too close together, its harder for the 1st child to understand why you can't hold them all the time, and why they aren't the center of attention. No matter how far apart they are, there is bound to be some amounts of jealousy, but the difference in age helps. I'm almost 6 months pregnant with my second, my first will be 2 1/2 when this baby is born. He doesn't understand everything that is happening, but we have a baby doll for him, and he knows how to hold it and love it, and he seems to be excited about what he knows. It's a start. ;0) good luck!