[jess1]

My husband and I are expecting our first child. He seems excited about it like when he brought me flowers when we found out it was a boy. But then at times he is hard to read. For example he doesn't care to feel the baby move and he recently told me that he is not fascinated with my stomach(which made me feel very attractive). He says I am expecting him to be a certain way towards the pregnancy. All I really want is for him to be more affectionate and attentive towards me carrying his child. He does things and I feel like he is doing it generously (like housework or going out to get medicine when I'm sick) but then complains about it later. We have talked everything over but it always seems to result in him telling me something just to leave him alone. We really have a great relationship but when we discuss the baby moving or kicking his entire attitude changes. It really makes me feel bad because I'm confused about how he feels about me and especially the baby.

[blondieinCAN]

There are two good books you should check out: Men are from Mars, women are from venus... I know I know! And the other is The seven Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make. I suggest them because it sounds like he cares but he may not be comfortable with the pregnancy... he is probably afraid and maybe jealous. Ive heard of men getting this way when their wife is pregnant because of all the attention put on them by friends and family. Make sure he is a part of this with you, not to you, and maybe buy him little gifts for all the great ways he shows he cares. (To say thanks). When you nag or push a man he takes it differantly then us women, and he maybe feeling pressured and at a loss. Im guessing this is your first pregnancy? He m,ay be feeling left out and nervous about the responsibilities to come. And remember men need space sometimes,(read/reflect.. etc.) and if you let them have it, they always come back! Ive also learnt from Men are from Mars... that when men are overwhelmed they want to fix something... so they resort to video games or a work task for example... if they can succeed there they feel a little pressure taken off and feel they are still in control. Just a thought! So don't worry if he's acting a little distant, it sounds like he loves you a lot.

[J_9]

Jess, I know exactly where you are coming from, my husband was the same way with both of our children.

This was how he explained it to me...

He was not comfortable with the fact that there was another person inside me. Although he loved me and our children, it was the thought of something inside me moving around that did not feel "normal" to him.

Although he admitted that it was natural and beautiful he just felt uncomfortable with the whole 2 people in one body idea.

So, I just understood that it made him uncomfortable to touch my belly when the baby moved and I stopped asking him to. Yes, I so desperately wanted to share those wonderful moments with him, but I had to respect his feelings too.

He is a wonderful husband and father, as I am sure yours is. If you respect his wishes then things might just get a little better. After all his is new to this, isn't he?