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How do I tell my boyfriend that I want to wait to have sex because I was raped 2 years ago
I have been dating this guy for a month now, my problem is that I want to take things slow. I don't think he will understand because I am 33 years old. Should I tell him the truth ad tell him that I was raped 2 years ago, and that is why I need to take things a little slower. I have had other guys not understand this at all..
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I don't think it's a problem that you want to take things slow, that is PERFECTLY normal and acceptable!! If a guy is unable to understand or respect that you want to take things slow, then he is not a guy worth your time and effort. I don't think you need to tell your boyfriend you were raped just yet (normally something like that takes a lot of trust to share). Simply say you really like him and would like to take things slow. Have you sought counseling for your experience? |
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Its only been a month, I would be careful with divulging anything to him until you know him much better. That doesn't mean you can't take it slow, and know who your dealing with. I suspect that a few months of getting to know him better, wouldn't hurt as he may not even deserve to know your private business. I think its enough to tell any guy who shows interest, when your ready, not when they are. Us guys are notorious for always being ready, so its in your own time, for your own reasons, they have to deal with. If they can't, they don't merit that kind of consideration, and trust. |
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If they don't understand then they are not worth pursuing. It's a waste of time. Might be as simple as "I really like you, but because of some issues I've had in the past, I need to proceed with extreme caution when attempting to advance this relationship to a sexual one. I don't want to be reminded of the past, so I'd ask you not to bring it up. If you don't mind, I'd like to be the one to initiate sex the first time between us. If you have the feelings that I think you do the honoring of this request will have the effect of making the relationship better. I hope this makes sense to you. (hug) |
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