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Details1968 · Mar 10, 2010, 07:57 PM

My boyfriends 13 year old daughter doesn't want him to date anyone. She refuses to meet me and won't even discuss it with her father. How should he handle this? How should I handle this?

Fr_Chuck · Mar 10, 2010, 08:03 PM

Tell her she a spoiled child and ignore what she wants.

Assuming he has been divorced for a while ( perhaps a year) he should be dating if he wants to.

Does he have custody or merely visits

You don't do anything, if you see her say hello, this is a issue between him and her.

Details1968 · Mar 10, 2010, 08:07 PM

He has been divorced for 10 years and has custody. She refuses to have anything to do with her mother due to the fact her mother remarried. I don't feel it would be appropriate to tell a child she is spoiled. But I wish I could give him some suggestions on helping her see its OK for him to date. Initially she was OK with the idea of him dating. Two weeks later she decides she doesn't want him to date. Help!

Blocksta · Apr 19, 2011, 03:04 PM

Im in the same position, just wondering how you got on? My boyfriends daughter is 17 and refuses to meet me and discuss anything that involves me in it. Ggrrrrr!

jenniepepsi · Apr 19, 2011, 03:47 PM

OP, it is very normal for a teen to not be comfratable with sharing her parent when she has had him all to herself for so long. 10 years is a long time, and its going to take her a while to change her habits and routine with dad.

I don't usually use fiction movies as a referance, but watch the movie called "Man of the House' staring jonathan taylor thomas, and chevy chase (there are 2 movies called the same thing, very different so look for the right one lol)

It is a story about a young man who had his whole life with mommy, and when she decided to start dating again, he struggles with it, tries to break them up, tries to make them unhappy, does everything he can to ruin it.
But in the end he grows up and realises that his mom deserves happiness too.

When a child ahs spent most of her life with one parent, it is hard to share that parent with a new person. And she shouldn't be punished for having her own feelings or even opinions about it. Absolutely don't let her come between the 2 of you, and don't let her dictate what happens.

But minimizing her feelings will only cause more problems for all of you. She is entitled to how she feels about it. She can't change it. And she absolutely should not be allowed to act out because of it. But she needs patience and understanding more than she needs to be told that her feelings don't count