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Sherine Mourad · Mar 6, 2010, 02:13 PM

Dear,
My daughter is six years old and I am divorced me and her father since she was two years old, her Father's wedding is next week she already know the bride and in very good terms with her and she is treating her nicely.
I would like to know your opinion if its recommended that my daughter attends her father's wedding ceremony or not, I am afraid if she does not attend she will see the wedding pictures and hear from her cousins regarding the wedding party in case she didn't attend I think she will feel bad.
Appreciate if I can get your feedback as soon as possible.

Thanks,

likkleanna · Mar 6, 2010, 02:35 PM

I can see where you are coming from and your hurting because you may feel he has moved on marrying someone else now but that's what you need to do too is move on, he is her father so he is going to be in her life and so is his new wife to be so my advice would be yes I do think your daughter should attend and I know your obviously upset about this but just put whatever feelings you have behiend you for just that day for your daughter as you said you don't want her feeling bad or for them to get all horrible about her not attending, but only you can deciede if you want her to attend or not. :)

jmjoseph · Mar 6, 2010, 02:51 PM

I not only think that she should attend, I think that she should be involved. Like be the ring bearer.

This is her father. And the new wife will be her stepmother.

How do you feel about the marriage? Are you on good terms with all involved?

ohsohappy · Mar 6, 2010, 03:08 PM

I was involved in my Father's second marriage. The only people standing next to my father and my step-mother were:me, my younger brother, my step-brother, and my step-sister. It was wonderful! I was very happy to be there, and I was glad that I could share those memories with my family.

I think that you should let her go. I don't know if you and your ex-husband are on good terms or not, but either way, she is his daughter too, and she should have that right.

I don't think this should even be a question, honestly. It's just the right things to do. Whatever your relationship is with your ex, it is not the same as the relationship between your daughter and her father, so lat her go.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 6, 2010, 03:13 PM

Yes, why is she not part of the wedding party, jr bridesmaid, or flower girl or something,

If I was her as I grew up and knew I was not part of the service I would be upset over that.

Her attending should not even be a question, of course she should be there.

Sherine Mourad · Mar 6, 2010, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by likkleanna

I can see where you are coming from and your hurting because you may feel he has moved on marrying someone else now but thats what you need to do too is move on, he is her father so he is going to be in her life and so is his new wife to be so my advice would be yes i do think your daughter should attend and i know your obviously upset about this but just put whatever feelings you have behiend you for just that day for your daughter as you said you dont want her feeling bad or for them to get all horrible about her not attending, but only you can deciede if you want her to attend or not. :)

Noooo you didn't get me right, I am not feeling bad because he is getting at all as I am also engaged.
Me and her father we are in very good terms I am only asking about her feelings being in her dad's wedding
Thank you very much for your reply and I also believe she should attend:)

Sherine Mourad · Mar 6, 2010, 03:48 PM

Originally Posted by ohsohappy

I was involved in my Father's second marraige. the only people standing next to my father and my step-mother were:me, my younger brother, my step-brother, and my step-sister. It was wonderful! I was very happy to be there, and I was glad that I could share those memories with my family.

I think that you should let her go. I don't know if you and your ex-husband are on good terms or not, but either way, she is his daughter too, and she should have that right.

I don't think this should even be a question, honestly. It's just the right things to do. whatever your relationship is with your ex, it is not the same as the relationship between your daughter and her father, so lat her go.

I am very happy to get your reply and that you participated in your father's wedding to know what you felt at that time. I really wanted the advice of a person who lived that moment before more than getting a doctor's advice:D

ohsohappy · Mar 6, 2010, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by Sherine Mourad

I am very happy to get your reply and that you participated in your father's wedding to know what you felt at that time. I really wanted the advice of a person who lived that moment before more than getting a doctor's advice:D

Glad I could help. :)

Clough · Mar 6, 2010, 08:46 PM

Hi, Sherine Mourad!

If your daughter is still involved with her father, and wants to be involved with him in the furture, I see no reason why she shouldn't be a part of the ceremony.

Thanks!

Devorameira · Mar 7, 2010, 09:12 AM

I think it would be wonderful for your daughter to attend the wedding. I would definitely encourage it. After all, this is her father and soon to be step-mother.

dontknownuthin · Mar 16, 2010, 08:30 AM

I think missing the ceremony would be a huge mistake. When parents remarry, children can worry that their parent is going to be married 'instead of' being their parent any more. If the child is fully involved and included and recognized as part of the newly merged family, these fears are put to rest. While children should recognize that the marriage relationship is between the two grown ups, they should know that a new family is forming and she is at the center of that family and her happiness and wellbeing is of great importance to both her father and her new step mother.

Her father should take time to talk to her before the wedding to reassure her of his love and the attention she will receive, and his fiancé should also talk to her and reassure her that she has a new grown-up friend who will be there for her. Both need to make sure she knows she's very loved and a part of the new family. YOu and your fiancé should do the same.

I've even been to weddings where the children of the marrying couple have been recognized with a special symbol. For example, at one wedding, after exchanging the wedding rings, the couple gave the husband's daughter a locket at the altar and they each promised her as part of the ceremony to make a nice family and home for her, and to always be there for her.