[vegasgirl]

I don't know were to start I have been married for 8yrs & have a beautiful daughter that is 4yrs old I have been unhappy with my marrige for a long time my husband is unfair , rude to me & any friends I have, puts down my family & me . We owned a business & I did all of the office work + took care of my daughter never wrote me out a pay check those 3yr then he decide we couldn't work together so he hired his sister & paid her $10.00 a hour & when he need me to take care of something for the business that his sister did do he would call me a lazy BTCH I told him that's what we pay her for she was the office manger ,I was never on the business lic & we sold the business & moved to Florida he opened bank account just in his name I have no acsess to those account he gives me very little $ I want to get a job but he never wants to help out with are daughter he makes it hard on me all of the time , I have tired so hard to make are business a success & be a good mother & wife in all that I have lost myself some were along the way . I am always walking on egg shells with him he went out of the country & cheated on me & lied about . If I buy snacks at store for my daughter he say's she doesn't need them but he will spend money on rims for car, stereo stuff for car,protein powder etc it goes on I am angry that he treats me this way I have never did a thing to him to treat me this way I want a divorse he said he would give me $8,000 & $600.00 for child support I told him that I should have half of what we made on business he told me he would say he gambled it or give it away before I got it .I told him we need a lawyer & he said I am not paying for it I have no family in Florida so it is so hard to find a job & sitter I can trust , he is opening a other business & put everything in his mothers name she has no money & lives on s.s he is on the LLC though ,It a pain management clinci and you have to have a clean record to open one up he doesn't have one I do but he would never want to see me on any of his business & would rather but his mom on it,this is half my $ that he is starting this business with it not fair I am so confused ,lost ,depressed could someone give me some good advice Thank You

[Devorameira]

Why in the world are you still with this man? He mistreats you, he cheats on you, lies to you, and doesn’t even consider you to be an equal. He’s verbally abusive - get out of there fast. Don’t you have family or friends (even out of state) that you can go to?

If you think there’s a chance that he might change, I think you’ll find that unlikely to happen. Only a very small number of abusers can be helped, then they have to actually want the help. THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE TO ABUSE (verbally or physically) Don't waste your time wishing, praying and hoping, because none of that works. The verbal abusers worst weapon is their mouth and their ability to find and use so many demeaning and mean words. It is like all their creativity is put into their ability to find and use words to manipulate or use as weapons to destroy hearts and minds. That lack of empathy that all abusers have, takes all the meaning and feelings out of words. Words become a prop they use to destroy and get them what they want. All the words they know are to, put down, blame, destroy, manipulate, and use to get what they want and to protect themselves.

You are good woman that deserves to be treated with respect and dignity, do that for yourself. Get out while you still have some confidence and self respect left. There's a happy peaceful life waiting for you out there.

[jaime90]

I'm so sorry to hear that your marriage has failed. But I feel like you should've stood up for yourself a long time ago. 3 years is too long to work and not get paid, and 8 years is too long to deal with this man.

I think it would be for your benefit to leave. Ask a friend, a family member, or just go find an apartment to rent. You need a break. You need to be by yourself at this time. Take it easy. This man is causing your depression an is having a very negative affect on you. I suggest leaving, and staying away from him.

[Cat1864]

You need a lawyer. You need to protect your and your child's interests.

Go to a women's shelter. They can help you find a lawyer and make decisions.

[JoeCanada76]

Everybody likes to blame the one person. We are only getting one side of the story. At the same time Marriage takes two people to work at it. There seems to be a lot of issues in this marriage. Not just on his side but her side as well. It almost seems like money has been a big part, and a lot of concern on your side is more the money then actual love.

At the same time, he did cheat on you and he may not be the happiest person with you. You both make each other miserable. So you need to realize that it is not all your husband that is at fault. It is you as a wife as well.

So in ending most times I recommend counseling for couples before they consider a divorce, but I would recommend that you get a lawyer. Do not tell your husband. The reason being is that you need to have your side taken care of.

Divorce is written in the books. But I did not here anything about how this was going to effect your daughter at all. All you were concerned about was what money your entitled to and that is it. Which tells me something about your character as well.

Counseling is very much needed for all of you three because as a divorce in the works. And what seems like a bitter divorce. You both as parents will have to learn how to resolve your issues in order to make this transition easier for your daughter.

Your daughter is who I am worried not you two. Your daughter should be the greatest concern not matters of money and business.

Also there needs to be a way to set up visitations and who gets custody , etc... This your counselors and lawyers will able to help you with.

[Jake2008]

Try to put a journal together with as much detail as you can.

Names of businesses, bank account numbers (even if you don't have access), dates you contributed and the work you did to make the business a success (even without a paycheque), record any and all detail so that a proper and honest assessment can be made.

That he has put his newest business into his mother's name, is a way of attempting to hide assets. I say that because it seems he has be long planning to keep you uninformed, and thus in the dark as to the true value of your share of everything.

Don't be a sitting duck here. I don't doubt that you are capable and intelligent enough to stand up and take charge of your life, you really need to get moving in my opinion.

No sense going backwards and figuring out where the relationship went wrong, if its over. Time for reflection and tears, after you get good legal advice, get yourself and your daughter into a new place, and start your life again.

[jmjoseph]

Get a really good lawyer, and take him to the cleaners.

I normally wouldn't say anything like that, but he is not worth the trouble.

[jmjoseph]

Jesushelper76 agrees : Hmmm, Guess you guys do not see what I see.
Jh76, I do see what you mean about two sides to every story. But I also see a woman who is being disrespected, unappreciated, and cheated on. He couldn't care less about her, or her needs.

Who wants to live like THAT?

[Gemini54]

Your husband sounds like a self obsessed narcissist and you're the bunny that's put up with him all these years.

Yes, he's probably a jerk, but you sound smart enough and aware enough to know that he is. Why have you let him get away with it for so long?

I don't know that the situation calls for counselling - it sounds as if it's gone too far for that. You need professional help to sort through this train-wreck of a marriage.

A women's shelter will be able to advise you and point you in the direction of people that can help you regarding your options and your entitlements.

[JoeCanada76]

They will need counseling for their child and themselves on how to work together for their child at this time. My parents got a divorce at a young age and you know what it effects the child in greater degrees then the parents even think. Parents are caught up in their own fight that they usually forget that there is a child involved and how it will effect the child.

Counseling is defiantly needed for this family. Especially to learn and to deal with how it will effect their child.