[zr101]

Ok well I saw some threads on this forum with answers that I really liked so I wanted to see if anyone could help me out with my little situation.

About a month ago me and my girlfriend broke up (Her being 17 and me being 18). Our relationship sort of went down hill ever since I graduated high school and moved on to college. In my opinion she began to get worried that id find someone better even though I tried to re assure her she was the one for me. This was about half way through our year and a half relationship. Even though this relationship was a rollercoaster I still find myself wanting to be with her feeling as if I know exactly how to treat her to make her 100% happy now.

The other day we got in touch for the first time *It being a month after the break up*. I have been doing the whole no communication thing and it seemed to work having her wanting to get back with me now but tonight things got really tricky. Now I don't know if she wants to be with me or if she's just playing around.

Summary of the last three days is like this. Day 1 We saw each other at the mall I tried to play it off like I didn't see her but she ran up to me. She appologized for treating me like crap and explained that she only did it because she thought it would help her get over me. After that I decided to hang out with her for a few hours and just talk about things.

Day 2 we basically told each other we both still cared and wanted to try to make things work out. Even though we didn't see each other we kept in touch the whole day and both seemed to enjoy the time we spent on the phone.

Day 3 was amazing up until the end. We went to a movie and dinner, the movie being her choice which she chose something scary and I found myself with my arm around her the whole time, and than dinner was amazing to. After I dropped her off at home however and called her to tell her I got home and I'm safe (due to a ice storm) she began to get really quiet and "Annoyed". Reason behind this is because she didn't want our families to know we were together yet and she didn't feel ready for us to tell everyone thinking that they won't approve. She than told me than I had broken a promise because I told her I wouldn't tell anyone "Which I did because I was excited and have a close relationship with my parents". Soon after she said that she's not sure what she's wants to do about the situation now and I lie here thinking about everything. I can honestly say that I didn't think I ed up this time and I believe she is trying to play with my emotions but I truly do love this girl and wish she could love me the same way.

Thank you for the people who read this and hopefully someone can tell me what they think I should do. I just want to know if I'm thinking about the situation too much or I don't know... I honestly don't know what I'm looking to find out here after typing this I just wish someone could give me there take on things or something

[I wish]

1) Trust your instincts. If you think that she's playing you, then proceed with caution.

2) Slow down. Why are you in such a rush to make this public? Why not work on the relationship first. It's extremely fragile at the moment.

3) She seems fairly unstable herself. So this is something you're going to have to accept and deal with.

4) Take the time to strengthen the fragile bond before taking the next step.

5) You've already broken up once, so if you can't fix the problems that broke you up in the first place, then this second time around will only blow up again.

6) If none of the above is working, then it's better to go your separate ways. Relationships are suppose to occur naturally and much of what you've told us sounds forced. If it continues to be forced, then this relationship will end one way or another.

[Jake2008]

I wish is right on here. Think about all that has happened, in the six steps above. Point 4- note 'fragile'. I think you may have thought the relationship was solidified, when it wasn't quite there yet.

Think about defining boundaries, and when you two talk again, talk about that. What is safe to assume, as in how often you are going to see each other.

Also, speak about trying to identify the faults in the past, so that history doesn't repeat itself.

If she isn't willing to carry on, and has gone back to 'single' status again, then I think it is safe to assume that what she thought she wanted, (you), she really doesn't. Consider leaving before you get in too deep if this is the case. You don't need the heartache.

I don't have a good feeling about this to be honest with you. Please be cautious.

[Aprilmay12]

Take it from someone who learned the hard way: just let her go. Looking back on it I really think I should have given my boyfriend the chance to be free his first year of college and I wish I had been single my first year of college. We did love each other but we both lead different lives and eventually it came to an end.

I know you have strong feelings for her and it's probably hard to ignore them but you should just enjoy college and live your own life. The chances of you and her being together in the long run are very slim and what happens when she goes to college? More drama? Have fun, discover who you are, and see what else is out there... lots of pretty college girls maybe? :)

[jaime90]

Make sure she isn't the rebound. If you have any doubts. Don't pursue her. I suggest giving yourself, and her, more time to be single. After all, you did just break up with your ex. Maybe you need more time. Besides, I agree with the above answer. At your age, it wouldn't hurt to just stay single for a while. Most people don't find their lifelong partners until college or after, so take your time.