[darkthrill92]

So I normally don't do all this but I'm just spent, both emotionally and physically.

To begin my rant you have to go back almost 2 year, where I went with my ex to the Dominican republic, were we had a magical 7 nights for her friends wedding. Get back to the states only to break up 2 weeks later, on the 4th of July no less, because she didn't want to be together. Only problem is that she started going out with her employer two weeks following the 4th. I received their wedding invitation last month:mad:.

The thing that keeps messing with me is that ever since her actions I can't trust a woman, not even my own mother. Every time I go out to a bar, work at a bar, walk around town, say hi or anything involving a woman I turn almost into a mute; saying my hi's / how's your day going/have a good day basics. Its almost like I don't want to talk to them. However I still am having issues, I haven't been on a date since the break up, I've slept with one woman since then, and to be honest it was a chick who is sleezy enough to bang a homeless man in a wheelchair so it was like taking candy from a baby. Im not some player or pimp or anything of that nature, I'm a single 26 year old man.

So to move forward I became heavily involved in my work in phone sales after the break up. It was actually touch and go for success, some days I came in and was amazing, some days I came in and blew it but I hit my quota and was a well liked person in the company. Then I moved into my new apartment with a friend from work(next paragraph will go over that). I kid you not, I was due money by the company for sales and they laid me off 10 days into living in the new apartment:mad:. The thing that pisses me off is that I sold more product then several people that were retained, and two people on my team in particular shouldve been fired instead of myself (:mad:one drank on the job, the other had 1 sale in 4 months, both were given forms saying improve your performance or you will be fired two weeks before my layoff.:mad:)

So I went on unemployment and suffered through low wages and massive lifestyle cutbacks in order to pay for the place. I lost my car, my PS3, my blackberry, and every ounce of my joy left in my soul. To add to my frustrations I thought a brilliant move over the summer would be to move in with my friend from work, a woman, figuring if I can live with one maybe it'll make it easier in public. Let me just say that it backfired, hardcore. Oddly enough the roommate is worse then the ex, she cheats on her boyfriends (yeah that's spelled right), gossips, and is overall either a bore to be around or a self image destroying . How bad you ask? This chick was in a band, and had sex with the two band mates within a single week's span, and had them lie to each other for 8 months stating if they told theyd never do it with her again. Guess who was the emotional punching bag all 8 of those months? We have a big place and I don't throw parties simply because she doesn't invite anyone, tries to sleep with all my friends and if she can't do the other two she insults me to all my friends. If your curious if I ever told her to gfy during a party I have; only thing is that she then goes into woe is me mode and I'm too nice of a guy to sit there and see a woman cry. :confused:And to throw more mud on the pile I actually was and still am attracted to her, which between her poor attitude and revolving door of men makes it twice as annoying. And another thing she's very needy of my time and my advice and basically red herrings every question I ask regarding my own self improvement. And yet I ask her, want to go out for a drink, want to go grab dinner, want to go see a movie, and says no. She's no prize catch by any means, but she defiantly would be good time in the sack.

The final issue I have are with my friends. Growing up my father was in the armed services so before I lived in 50 states before I was 12. I didn't make any friends that you could consider being concrete friends until I moved to this beach town. Everything was going great until about 3months ago when I lost my car. Now that I have no transportation, it seems none of them want to hang out or even speak to me. I sit at my house some days and watch espn from an hour after I wake up until almost 9 hours later to find no one has called. Sounds dumb but when your used to hanging out with at least 1 friend a day to no one calling its kind of annoying. I also have had the instance where groups of friends say "we're not going out", and then I see the at the bar on 'accident'. I have about 15-20 people I used to dedicate being a good friend to and I literally now see 1-2 of them per week when it used to be everyday. Now I can attribute some of the lapse to some of them having children and getting married, but there are friends who have neither and nothing to do and they still dodge me:(.


Some questions I need help answering are:
1. Why can't I get over my ex?
2. What should I do about my roommate?
3. Is there anyway to stop having the attraction to the roommate?
4. Why are my friends dodging me?
5. Are there any methods or techniques I can use to alleviate all of this stress and/or depression?
6. How can I gain my confidence in women back?

So there you go I'm a heart broken loser of the last 2 years, have very elusive friends, and have no job and live with a witch who I wouldn't mind sleeping with. I'm desperately seeking advice use some advice, and will gladly update with more details for better clarity in dealing with this problem, just ask and I will deliver.

[QLP]

Ok I'm going to be rather harsh here but hope you can take it in the spirit it is intended.

You call yourself a loser. You have pretty much written off the whole of womankind because of the action of a couple of specific women. You criticise your room-mate for being sexually active in a way you don't approve of then say she 'is no catch but would be a good time in the sack'. Do you honestly expect to have a good relationship with her whilst you think like this about her? You have taken some hard knocks in life recently, which we all suffer at times, and now you are seeing everyone and everything as hostile and unfair.

The point is you are surrounding yourself in negativity. The only people you will attract while you are giving out these vibes are other negative thinkers. This will just reinforce your views.

Try imagining yourself in a better place and start acting as if you are. Start chasing a better job. Do some volunteer work and help people who are in a worse place than you - yes there are people worse off believe me. Take a genuine interest in what is going on in other peoples' lives instead of focusing on your own troubles all the time. Stop chasing people, like your room-mate, who isn't really interested in you and who you don't have any real respect for.

Don't sit around waiting for the phone to ring. Pick it up and dial. Maybe your pals haven't realised you are stuck without a car and think you are just busy. Maybe you and them got used to the idea that you were the dependable one. Open up and say you could do with some company. Give them the chance to come through for you. If they can't or won't then fine write them off and look for better friends.

In short, start behaving like the kind of people you would actually like to be spending time with.

Consider getting some counselling to work through some of the stuff you are struggling to come to terms with.

It can all get better but first you have to believe it will then start taking steps to make it happen. You don't have to do everything at once, just try and make one small step forwards each day and you will get there.

Good luck.

[blowe]

Ever considered Counceling? Or a Support group? Your looking at ALL the symptoms like they are the problem!? Take charge of your life and make the changes you so despratly want and need. No one else can do it for you.

[Gemini54]

1.Why can't I get over my ex?

Stop thinking about her and start thinking about what you can do to attract the sort of person you want in your life. She's in the past and she's history. Focus on the positive, focus on meeting women, talking to them like normal human beings and establishing friendships rather than simply thinking about them as objects to bonk.

2. What should I do about my roommate?

Move out, she sounds like a narcissist.

3. Is there anyway to stop having the attraction to the roommate?

See Question 2.

4. Why are my friends dodging me?

Because you're full of negativity and resentment. Would you like you if your were your friend?

5. Are there any methods or techniques I can use to alleviate all of this stress and/or depression?

Begin to understand that you're creating it by thinking negative thoughts. Life can be good, and you can attract good relationships, you just have to believe that you will. It does sound facile - but your ATTITUDE makes a huge difference. Moving away from your present living situation will make a huge difference, as well getting a job, even if it is part time. You don't have to be a victim to your circumstances!

6. How can I gain my confidence in women back?

See Question 1.