[Makiavelic76]

I have read this articule on the www.sosuave.com promoted by our friedn Wildcat21 here... I want to have an open talk about this will all the people who wants to put their opinion..

If a man is passing through a difficult time during a relationship (financially, emotionally, psicollogically, or what ever issue that every human being can experience), that means that a woman (our partner) will sense this a signal of weakness?.

Quoting the articule:
"Women are masters at emotional warfare and the moment a woman senses that you are wholly dependent on her for emotional support, she will remorselessly use it as a weapon against you"

I'm not talking about putting our self esteem on the women opinion, I'm just wondering... if that is one of the BIG SECRETS about women, what can we wait for a long term relationship with all the obstacules and difficulties life will put us in front?? Should I ran always to my paretns, for some confort or support?? I don't think so...

The issue over the table... people :rolleyes:

[Skell]

I'm not exactly sure what you are asking here but what I will offer is this.

It is OK, and in fact advisable, to lean on and look for support and love from your partner when going through difficulties and obstacles in life. Any partner, man or women, who isn't supportive, sympathetic and encouraging to their partner during tough times well isn't a partner at all. It defeats the whole definition of the word partnership.

What the article is trying to say is that no one, man or women, should be "wholly dependent" on their partner for emotional support, happiness etc. A person must be capable of being happy in life in general and facing life's tough times with or without a partner. It is very unhealthy for someone to completely rely on a significant other for happiness, comfort etc. This shows some major flaws and deep seeded problems in the individual.

So it is OK to lean on the person you love for support. And the person you love, if they truly love you in return will stand solidly beside you to face life's difficulties. They won't run, and they won't "remorselessly use it as a weapon against you". And you are entitled to expect this from them as well.

But to wholly rely on them for emotional well being is another matter and I think you'll find is the base of this article.

At the end of the day it comes back to that great word that every relationship needs so much. BALANCE. You need to be balanced as an individual, you need to have balance as a couple. Everything in life needs balance, from your relationship, to your diet, to your social life, to your budget.

Find balance in your relationship and all other issues will most likely neatly fall into place.

I hope I have made sense.

[talaniman]

You made great sense Skell, as the major reason men and women have come here with so many question about their break up is one partner gets to engrossed or dependent on the other. It runs the other away leaving a devastated partner behind to fend for themselves, Like a junkie if you take his dope. If both partners cannot stand alone by themselves then some body will be carrying more than the other, and the resentments will rip them apart as fast as cheating or abuse. Having said that there is nothing like a friend, whether of the opposite sex or not where there is mutual respect for each other and their boundaries (BALANCE) and can relate and support each other. It helps everything if the two are HEALTHY in mind and soul which is the key to everything so No, you don't have to run to your parents if your HEALTHY and have Healthy friends. What was the question again?

[Skell]

Yes,

So many people that come here telling us about their break ups are here because one partner was completely infatuated with the other and smothered them. They became "wholly dependent" on them. And that's when trouble occurs.

[Makiavelic76]

Great opinions...
And yes, been wholly dependet on a partner for a emotional support, it's an emotional disease called Co-dependency, which most of the people who has to deal with a partner with some addiction develops. That's my case, I'm trying to overcome to these silent disease, which we never see it coming until it's there, and we feel "this is not me".

I guess there's no direct question, I just want to read your replies to understand the difference between "wholly dependent vs. inter-dependent". I had figure my common sense it's a little unhealthy on this stage of my life, and all good thoughts from you, help me and hopefully help many others.

Quote from Skell:
Any partner, man or women, who isn't supportive, sympathetic and encouraging to their partner during tough times well isn't a partner at all. It defeats the whole definition of the word partnership.

Beautiful words Skell... thank you