[Frank!]

Hello occupants of the ask me, help desk forums

Let me start by getting a few things out of the way, I am 17, I have never been bullied, I have a tolerable home life, and hate the majority of people I meet. So, any answers relating to it being normal for teens, or bullying, or a poor home life, or finding people I can relate to are not welcome as I would like an answer rather than a generic "cheer up kido" response I find far to often in the majority of posts I find written by people of my age. Thank you

Progressing onwards. As stated above I am 17, and I suffer from issues relating to repressed anger, I am not the aggressive type, or rather I am extremely aggressive but I have an equally large conscience which for the most part opposes me from taking any action upon account of my anger. This deep set conscience arises from my deep regarded for how I am held in the minds of others, and my outward portrayal. All in all I have never allowed myself to be dragged into a fight, and I normally walk away from a conflict holding onto my anger, which leads to me being a very bitter and angry person. I also have a great loathing of modern society, I was raised in a very scandanavian manner by my mother, who raised me on her own along with my younger brother and sister (both of whome are 7-9 years younger than me) without the support of maintenance. During this time she also returned to university and went on to become a full time physics teacher. For these reasons amongst many others she is a women I deeply respect. Due to my upbringing I have always felt somewhat distanced from my peers, a gap which has widened as I have grown older. I cannot relate to them, they are very ignorant stupid and materialistic, and are by-products of modern society. This has lead to a feeling of extreme anger on my part for society as a whole and the majority of people who make it up.

This anger eats away at me over the years, and has made me a very twisted person, this fact makes me feel very depressed, this is reflected mainly as a very wide spread and low level depression draping over my life, I'm restless, tired, and feel lifeless. Although I don't pose any threaght to myself, as I am not the type to self harm (if anything I would rather take it out on everyone else), it has severely affected both my social and academic endeveours, I find I'm losing my grip on my education as the top grades slip through my fingers, and am unable to motivate myself to clamour after them. I also have become socially reclused as I find I can't relate to anybody anymore, even my friends seem distant, operating on a lower level.

Bassicly I need help but I don't want to ask for it, because I can't ask for it, as I am continiousely restricting myself in what I say how I act how I come across. And I often find myself lying around at night playing out all the hypothetical situations that I have never fully seized, the times I was silent or didn't take action.

[Clough]

Hi, Frank!

How about we take things one thing at a time here?

Why do you hate the majority of people that you meet, please?

I did read your entire post, by the way...

Thanks!

[Clough]

Are you still there, Frank!

Shorter answers as well as short dialogue do work the best here...

Some things to need to be analyzed and taken apart piece by piece in order to be understood and addressed in the best ways.

Thanks!

[Frank!]

I hate the majority of people I meet because I can't relate to them on any level, it borders upon being an inter generational rift. The heart of this rooted in upbringing and the effects of society. I don't bend to the social mould, I don't care about fashion, brands, consumerism, money. Neither do I idolise the rich or famous, I idolise nobody. I value knowledge and my education. I am mature and find my peers actions moronic and childish. I also don't. All in all I just have no means of relatng to my so called "peer" group, they are stupid, immature, and spineless.

[Clough]

Hi again, Frank!

Do others attach labels to you and how do others view you overall, would you say?

Thanks!

[Frank!]

Well generally I would say my peers label me as a nerd/academi type, very hostile yet harmless. I can imagine in a hostile situation people laugth in their heads and don't take me seriously (I am a very slender build and short) they see me as an easy or weak target, somewhat beneath them based upon physical stature. Of course the majority of this flew straight out of the head of a certain individual once when they pushed me over the edge, leading to me stabbing him in the head repeatedly with a parker fountain pen (this occurred several years ago and is about the only time I have ever lost it in a hostile situation). In general people underestimate me, which annoys me greatly

[Clough]

If you stabbed someone in the head, were you charged with anything?

Thanks!

[Frank!]

No, as I am a very placid person nothing was made of it. As staff feel that someone of such a nature would only react in such a way if severely provoked. I was seen as the victim in this case, which I was.

[Clough]

Thank you for your short and to the point answer, Frank!

Do you have any ways of expressing yourself, like in one of the arts like music, visual arts, drama, etc.

[Frank!]

No, not really. I enjoy cooking and woodwork, but both are more construction rather than creation.

[Fr_Chuck]

I can remember as a young person in high school, I was the poster child for "nerd" for heavens sake I even used a pocket protector, do I laugh at myself now adays when I look back at the photos.

First I firmly believe that the nerds will rule the world , you can't see that at 17 but if you follow though with college, those jerks laughing at you now, will be the ones taking the trash out at the building where you are a engineer, deisgner or manager of.

I personally found that martial arts got me to work out my anger, it taught me to control my emotions and I also found that always keeping things in is not the right thing, it is a balance of knowing when

[Clough]

I express myself in various ways - music, visual arts to an extent, drama, leading groups and building things.

I too, enjoy cooking. That is, when I actually have an appetite! Having an appetite is a problem that I have that needs to be addressed. I've actually been hospitalized for not eating enough and having panic attacks.

You stated in your first post that you realize that you need help but can't ask for it.

Why is that, please?

Thanks!

[Clough]

Okay, I can see that you're no longer logged onto this site, Frank!

I do know that there's more that we could discuss. Depending on how things go, I also know just the right people on this site to ask to address things on this thread, if that might be needed.

Please do know though, that you will get help and compassion from people here. And, if it's needed, a taste of reality! I've had to have a true taste of reality a number of times in my life...

Thanks!

[Clough]

So, how are you doing now, Frank!

Thanks!

[Socialist]

I have almost the same problem. The only difference is I feel death would releave me of hatred. My problem is that I phylosiphy and theorize which lead me to realize that I think just like all of those ignorant and arrogant people that I hate, but my intellect covers it up to protray me as a teen that has an adult mind. That is the reason I want to die. I have found that the only thing that makes the anger feel distant is bringing myself somewhere where I can truly feel comfortable. For an example my peaceful place is anywhere around my cousin. My cousin is like my brother, we've been through thick and thin and were raise side by side. We don't have the same point of views and he dropped out of highschool(and I usually automatically dislike people without an education). My point is that even though we have different intellect and interests we still can sit and talk for hours upon hours without repeating a single thing. My suggestion is to find someone you can vent all of your anger to. Not neccisarally yell at them or hate them, but just let all of your deep thoughts free. If you feel there isn't anyone you know that is like that, then double check the people you care about. It might surprise you to find how many fallowers have a mind of their own that they don't show or even how many arrogant people will accept you and embrase your thoughts. I hope I could help and good luck man.