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jswear28 · Dec 16, 2009, 07:33 PM

I have never been the most social person. I have had acne since 6th grade and now it has finally cleared up and I'm a junior, 17 yearas old. I always thought I was so un-social because of myself confidence. As I'm getting older I'm starting to realize that this is a problem for me. I need to talk to people more often. I don't have a lot of friends. Just 2 best friends and maybe a couple others at school. I just do not feel comfortable at all talking to people I don't know. And now I'm realizing its not my confidence, it's that I just don't know what to say. I feel so stupid getting into conversations. I just want to feel comfortable talking to anyone and to be social. Maybe I just have to accept that that's not my personality, but it's not easy. I guess I just need help dealing with the situation because I have tried many times talking to different people. I feel like such an outcast because everyone else I know can joke around with each other and just talk. How hard is it to talk to someone right? Well that's what I don't get.

ohsohappy · Dec 16, 2009, 07:50 PM

Every bit of it has something to do with confidence, you don't know what to talk to them about because maybe you're shy, or you don't want them to think you're weird, so you s tay quiet. I'd hang out with your friends and other friends of theirs, talk about interests, join social clubs in school and pretty soon college, you can join a group filled with people who have the same interests as you and you'll have something to talk about. Go out on a limb and just say what's on your mind. :)

jswear28 · Dec 16, 2009, 08:20 PM

Well I guess it has something to do with confidence. But really, when I come to talk to someone, I sometimes just go brain dead and feel sooo stupid. Even with my best friends I can make it kind of awkward sometimes. I try to be myself. What else can I do? What is wrong with me?

ohsohappy · Dec 16, 2009, 09:10 PM

Originally Posted by jswear28

Well I guess it has something to do with confidence. But really, when I come to talk to someone, I sometimes just go brain dead and feel sooo stupid. Even with my best friends I can make it kind of awkward sometimes. I try to be myself. What else can I do? What is wrong with me?

Absolutely nothing, you just don't know how to crawl out of your comfort box.

Silverfoxkit · Dec 16, 2009, 09:47 PM

I'm also a shy person, a lot like you. I never really opened my shell too much when I was in high school. What I find that allows me to openly socialize and talk with people are my dogs. They are real ice breakers for me. I can stop and talk all day to anyone about my dogs and they make me relaxed enough to socialize about other things to. Now I'm not telling you to go out and buy or adopt a dog, but to find that something that makes you feel comfortable and relaxed. Something that you are passionate about that you can use to help get conversation flowing.

shazamataz · Dec 17, 2009, 06:45 AM

Had to spread the rep Silver but excellent advice!
I am the same as you, I can find it hard to start up and hold conversations with people I don't know too well... unless that person has a dog! In that case I can talk for hours about the little fur balls.

It doesn't matter if it's cars, video games, sports or dancing if you really like something try and find a like-minded person to have a conversation with. I think you will find that after you have opened up with someone once it will keep getting easier.