[blKkitty89]

Okay, so about a month ago I made contact with this guy that I used to attend middle school with which was approximately ten years ago. I was just interested in seeing how he was doing and what not. Although, I did have a slight infatuation with him when we were in school, I liked him A LOT; but I never told him. I don't know why I told him after I started talking to him. It wasn't like suggestive or anything, just merely catching up. Anyway he would say things like oh your cute, hot, etc. I paid little attention as I was under the impression he was just another guy just trying to get in the pants and was spitting his "game" per se. The talk became very minimal as I became almost annoyed. Then one day I went somewhere, he saw me and texted me that he had seen me and blah blah. I can't recall specifics. For some reason I just decided to keep talking to him. One night after about a week or two of constant text messages, I told him to call me and he did. He was SO FUNNY! It was completely unexpected and refreshing. We have quite a bit in common, he smokes pot and drinks occasionally, I don't though ( don't really care) just as long as he doesn't always which is not a problem. He would text me all the time and whatever, I sent him a few pictures (not like nude or anything) and he continued to say the same things. Well naturally, we both wanted to hang out; he is always running around though and kind of busy. Mind you I had never talked to him in middle school, so what was so compelling to me was even interacting with this guy who had always been a mystery to me. Finally one day, he comes to see me briefly before I go to work. He opts to hug me first, which I gladly submit to. (it was a little awkward). He's not the sexiest thing ever but I think his personality makes up for it drastically. He saw me on Monday. He kept asking if I liked him after that, and I didn't want to immediately say yes so I would hint at it. He would continue to ask. Then I finally told him. Almost as soon as I told him he offered oral sex ? Lol that's so strange. I questioned him about it. Don't remember what he said though. Anyway next day, he's in my room. We play video games first. I lose because I can't concentrate. I give him the implication that I want to do something (not sex). He takes advantage and aggressively starts kissing me with his tongue too. It was so overwhelming and yet exciting. I have had boyfriends before-so not because I had never experienced it. We are making out for like 15 minutes/dry humping and what not then he offers oral sex again. I say no because lol I hadn't shaved in a few days. SO I offered fellation. I love giving head I don't know why. Then we start talking, laughing and making jokes, its great. I feel something-a connection I guess. More texting throughout the week. Friday comes and we had planned to hang out that night, things get complicated but he says if he can bring me with him to his friends house because they told him to. SO we go and he's openly affectionate with the kissing and holding. His friends were really nice and funny. I liked it. Night ends and we are holding hands in the care, he's like messaging my fingers as he does and that actually turns me on! (the smallest things=)... we get back to his house and he starts kissing me really heavy and grabbing me-it feels wonderfully amazing and I'm so horny. Make out for about another 20 minutes. Then he goes downtown for awhile and mind you I'm so incredibly wet and its just like another world I'm in. He asks about sex and I was so out of it I SAID YES! SO he puts the condom on enters me (its a little big) so it hurts at first, but its okay after. It feels GREAT. Although he wasn't all that sexually talented for some reason I didn't mind. The thrusting was in and of itself enough. I came and then he did. Made out for about 10 minutes after, cuddled and he kisses me face and eyes (its so sweet =D) I says he's tired. We continue to talk, and laugh together he mentions something about "our kid" hypothetical situation type thing... I don't pay much attention to it. Feel that he's semi-hard so I ask him if he wants to go again, he says sure. This time from the back. Great! For both of us. He thinks not sure if I came so he keeps thrusting (for some reason he stays erect even after ejaculation for awhile). I tell him its fine because I did. (really!) and then we collapse together make out blah blah. Talk laugh, I offer him oral because he's still hard. Do that. He loves. Talk and laugh more. Says its late/early I should take you home so you don't get in trouble. I circumvent the subject for awhile and we make-out more ( he likes kissing A lot which is a triple plus!) . He says if we want to again. So we do. New position, things almost fall. He says he's going to come, I tell him to say my name. He does and I explode almost with him. After that we snuggle, we kiss more. Its aggressive he's gripping me. Im feeling all these sensations (not horny though) Just so almost like in love. We talk about "us" as a concept he says he won't leave me but he is not sure if he can handle a relationship with me at the moment. Im not too sad, or bummed because I kind of don't want a relationship with him. I don't know. Maybe. We continue to play around making out touching grabbing, he looks me in the eyes at one point and its beautiful. He has a bit of a smile and then I tell him not to look at me in anymore because it makes me feel weird. ( like a love thing). We were suppose to leave at 5 am, I get him to concede and we stay until 6. He's so cute. He says the funniest things. Get in the car go to albertos because sex makes people hungry. I offer to buy. He says no. I offer to put gas he says no. He has this thing about me doing things for him ( Maybe it's a male ego) Drive up by my house make out heavily for like 2 minutes and then I get out. We both sleep for hours because we stayed up for an entire day. I text him about two hours later, don't expect him to respond for a bit but its okay, I say I know we already discussed this but I kind of want to be with you. He texts back : "Oh yeah i think thats just cause we had sex im sure its mutual". Im sad but then not really. I like being with him, hanging out and behind doors. Don't want to put him through the drama of a relationship, but do want him to be mine. We still text and what not, I guess he's busy because they are like an hr late and what not. Not as fast as they used to be. Im so confused now. Utterly confused. I like him, he likes me. He didn't even want to have sex the first time, he says he won't leave me but he doesn't know if he can handle it because it would be complicated. WHat is up? Assess the situation for me please!! Im not even sure if I really like this guy or if its extreme lust. Oh yeah, on more important detail; I have a boyfriend. Help me

[Fr_Chuck]

Well I would hate to be your boyfriend if you are jumping and having all sorts of sex with someone after a few days?

Personally moving fast is not even close to how fast you moved.
Just hope it was protected sex.

[blKkitty89]

There's a lot of history behind my boyfriend and I so in some ways, that's not the main issue. He's cheated 2. We fight a lot. Not sure what to make of that. It was protected.

[Jake2008]

I think it's pretty obvious what he wants from you- sex, and plenty of it. He's pretty clear he doesn't want a relationship, but will tell you what you want to hear, so that he can have more sex. So, you use him, he uses you, win-win right?

Except you have developed feelings for him, and are starting to figure out that your feelings are deeper than you thought they would be when you first contact him. While the situation started with sex, instead of a friendship first, what more do you expect from him.

He likely finds himself avoiding any sort of commitment with you because you have a boyfriend. Which doesn't say much for him, or for you for that matter.

You only know what you know. That is, you meet up for sex with this guy, pretty shallow, but to expect more is wishful thinking from what you've said.

As to your boyfriend, I really can't find the right words to describe somebody who would be so blatently sexually active with another man, and put the boyfriend in the mix as a sort of after thought, of no importance, value, or worthy of consideration here. You don't express any concern for his feelings, or your relationship with him, whatsoever.

I hope that your boyfriend realizes that he can do better. And I hope that you have the courage to tell him what you've done, so he can at least make the decision whether to keep you in his life.

[sam1590]

I don't agree with jake. I don't condone cheeting its wrong and insensitive. And just because your boyfriends done it doesn't make it okay and it doesn't make you "even"
That being said if you love your man you'll quit talking to your buddy because that's what it is. And learn to live with your guilt and what you've done in scilence. Telling him you cheeted only makes you feel better about it and it hurts him. Telling him is just another way of being selfish. Stop the whorish behavior if you love your boyfriend if not break up with him. Who knows maybe it'll change things with your buddy.

[jaime90]

It doesn't matter how lousy your current boyfriend is- no one deserves a cheater... including you, so why in the world would you stoop down to his level? Why would you not be the mature one, the forgiving one, who knows enough to break up with a man who doesn't treat you right? Instead you just turn around and cheat on him. Also, if your relationship with your boyfriend is THAT bad, you NEED to break up. I agree with Sam1590 on this one.

Also, I do think you took things way too fast. A lot of guys are out there for sex (and so are a lot of girls) which is where friendship comes into play. In the early stages of a relationship, guys and gals like to "charm" their partners- playing up their good qualities, and down playing, or hiding their negative qualities. This guy CLEARLY wants sex. If you had been patient, waited, and became friends with him first, you probably would've earned a little more respect, i.e.. This guy wouldn't have used you. AND, you would've known that this guy is more than a little shallow, and probably would've chosen not to be involved with him anyway.

I suggest breaking off both relationships until you can straighten a few things out, and realize that you should learn more about someone, before you get emotionally (or sexually) involved.