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    sela bella's Avatar
    sela bella Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 12, 2009, 02:54 PM
    Are love deadlines OK?
    Is it true that guys don't like deadlines? My boyfriend right now told me he likes me and another girl [we're on a brake right now] but it seems likes he's taking his sweet time in figuring out who he wants to be with.. should I give him a deadline? And if so how long should I give him to decide?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #2

    Nov 12, 2009, 03:00 PM
    Giving a "deadline" is like giving an ultimatum. It's just going to backfire. If you are on a break (not brake), then it's time for you to get out and meet other people yourself.
    BlackVY's Avatar
    BlackVY Posts: 823, Reputation: 154
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Nov 12, 2009, 03:05 PM

    From my experience, nobody likes deadlines, guys or girls.

    If someone is busy making up their mind or something, giving them a deadline only forces them to finish thinking faster and make a decision quicker, which is a bad thing most of the time. People need time

    However, this guy is considering you and another girl. That seems to show his feelings for you aren't as strong as they once were, considering someone is making him reconsider being with you, on your break.

    I agree with J_9 in that you should be out meeting people and not sticking to this guy why the both of you are on a break. He did it, so you should too. Good luck
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    Nov 12, 2009, 09:28 PM
    This is too subjective to put a deadline.

    When you had enough of waiting around, then move on with your life. He can't expect you to wait for him forever. That would be unfair to you.

    Don't play on his schedule. YOU DECIDE when you want to give up. He doesn't get a say.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #5

    Nov 13, 2009, 11:41 AM

    I can't believe I am reading this. He is telling you to wait on him while HE figures out who he wants to date? :rolleyes: Do you see something inherently wrong with this picture?

    You are a woman! Don't wait on a guy to decide if he wants to be with you. Are you some sort of object, some trophy, a back up plan? NO! You are a person. Screw him! Get on with your life.
    2ndTime's Avatar
    2ndTime Posts: 191, Reputation: 12
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Nov 15, 2009, 04:29 PM

    Tell him to come back to you, when he wants a real relationship. Stop communicating with him and stop getting together with him, until he comes crawling back to you for your forgiveness and makes effort to have a future with you. Meanwhile, go on with your life like he doesn't exist anymore. You can't make his mind up for him. He needs to do this on his own.
    heartshinegirl's Avatar
    heartshinegirl Posts: 21, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #7

    Nov 16, 2009, 01:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sela bella View Post
    Is it true that guys dont like deadlines? my boyfriend right now told me he likes me and another girl [we're on a brake right now] but it seems likes he's taking his sweet time in figuring out who he wants to be with.. should i give him a deadline? and if so how long should i give him to decide?
    Deadline? It sounds to me like you want him to make up his mind. I have a better idea. Make up yours. You can do one of two things. Wait for him to decide, or don't wait.

    Let him do what he wants since you two are on a break... and go do what you want. I sure hope that your whole life doesn't revolve around a guy who is seeing another girl.

    Giving him a deadline will make him run away from you... on the other hand, you going on with your life and not having yours revolve around him will make him desire you... (not that this is your intention in moving on) but really... enjoy life!

    Date! ;)
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Nov 18, 2009, 02:05 PM
    Giving him a deadline will make him laugh; I laughed.

    Deadlines work in the world of business only.
    88sunflower's Avatar
    88sunflower Posts: 1,207, Reputation: 462
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Nov 18, 2009, 02:11 PM
    A deadline?
    Are your crazy?
    So do that. Then he still can't decide. So he says he picks you, loves you and will then continue to see her on the side.

    Right now he has it made. He is stringing you both along while you both know. Put pressure on him and watch the lies pour in.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Nov 18, 2009, 02:13 PM

    I would tell him in no uncertain terms.I am a good woman and I know I have value as a person,the fact that you can't see it is your problem and with that tell him its over.
    Do not ever allow someone to disrespect you in such a way.
    Honor yourself my dear and others will follow!
    Holly23's Avatar
    Holly23 Posts: 180, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Nov 18, 2009, 02:16 PM

    I don't think there's much more anyone can add but just don't make him a priority because your only an option to him.
    jaime90's Avatar
    jaime90 Posts: 1,157, Reputation: 163
    Ultra Member
     
    #12

    Nov 18, 2009, 04:27 PM

    You can't give a deadline for love. If this guy loved you, he would've been committed to you. He doesn't love you.

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