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sweet26 · Nov 7, 2006, 04:29 PM

My boyfriend broke up with my last week after 9mos because we were fighting a lot and he was getting very stressed out. We were very much in love with each other which made it hurt a lot more. We did argue a lot and I think its because we just didn't give each other any space. So now we have split & I am devastated. I was going to send him a picture in the mail ( a pic I took of him with his nieces/nephews) and I wanted to attach a small note saying I missed him etc. I don't know if I should say that I want another chance? I don't know how long to wait to send it..
People keep giving me mixed opinions.. some say move on, forget about him, or act cool like you happy without him, or bare your soul... I want to get my point across without scaring him off.. I am going to send the letter so Im not asking if I should, I'm just wondering the proper way to do it.. HELP!! By the way.. dont know if this helps but he's 42 & Im 26 that's why I don't know if I should be playing headgames with him

JoeCanada76 · Nov 7, 2006, 05:13 PM

That could be part of the problem. Not to say age matters but he is 42 and your 26. That could be part of the factor. Also who broke up with who? That is very important to know. As far as the picture. You should keep the picture. Obvously you do still want to send the note, no matter what anybody says, but I say keep the picture.
Question, What were you fighting and arguing a lot about? That is the important factor you left out. You want another chanch but does he want another chanch?

Skell · Nov 7, 2006, 05:54 PM

He is 42 and you are 26. I think that is a problem. You are in different worlds.

But I wouldn't bare your soul to him. I wouldn't chase him. I would move on. It is over because you weren't good for one another. You fought a lot. Who is going to enjoy that? I wouldn't.

Please understand this. Chasing him, crying, begging, pleading etc WILL NOT WORK. Everyone here will tell you this.

Sending him a picture and a small note WILL NOT WORK. It isn't the movies. It is real life.

You say you are going to send it regardless and want to know the proper way. Well my advice would be there is no proper way because there is now way in this world you should send it. It won't work. I know you will still send it but let me say I think you are making a grave mistake.

Chasing him will only push him further away.

You need to accept that for now it is over and move on. No contact. Work on yourself Be with your friends, your family. Work on yourself. Join a gym, run, work harder at work etc.

Do things to take your mind off the pain.

But don't contact him. It will only make everything worse. And I would let him contact you either. You need to some time alone to think for at least 1 month or 2.

Move on.

Good luck!

Skell · Nov 8, 2006, 03:43 PM

The additional harm that will be caused by sending the note will be to yourself because you will be wanting to get a response that inevitably you won't get. And when that happens you will delve further into your sad and mixed up state.

We are only trying to help.

You came here looking for advice that you wanted to hear and when you didn't get it you threw up the defence shield.

Look, send him the note. Bear every little feeling you have in your soul. How much you love him and will so until the day you die. You want him back. You need him desperately in your life.

Tell him your life can't go on with out him and you will never ever get over him. You can't and won't ever be with another man and you will wait for his return until the day you die.

That should do it. Something along those lines.

Skell · Nov 8, 2006, 03:45 PM

Watch as many love movies as you can for ideas as well. That will work!

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 8, 2006, 03:48 PM

I can't help but chuckle at this point...

Tell them what they want to hear, not what they should hear...

Nice one Skell!!

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 8, 2006, 03:56 PM

I mean that with respect sweet26, you have been given good advice by Skell here but you are choosing to ignore it..

I sent an e-mail 3 weeks after my breakup telling my ex I loved her and we could work at the relationship, blah, blah, blah...

Did it work?

9 Weeks on and she is far away, probably dating other men by now...

I'm not saying our situation is similar...

What I am saying is that sending this letter is the worst possible thing you can do...

Especially if he was the one to break it off...

Skell · Nov 8, 2006, 04:05 PM

Hahaha

How come sweet26 doesn't have to spread it around like the rest of us.

She just disagreed with every post I posted.

I don't care about the rep but I want to know why I can't agree with everything tal, cat and others say if I want to?

Skell · Nov 8, 2006, 04:08 PM

Sweet26,

I wrote that letter to my ex that you are going to write to yours.

I wrote it hoping it would change things.

I wrote it hoping for a response. You know what?
I didn't get anything out of it that I wanted.

All I got was more pain.

Sorry for trying to help. I do hope you don't disagree with this post since this is fact and not advice. You can't ignore or disagree with fact!

Skell · Nov 8, 2006, 04:10 PM

I gave you advice in post No. 4 (my second post) what to put in it.

Read that post again and write things along those lines. How much you love him, you need him, you can't live without him etc.

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 8, 2006, 04:15 PM

Sweet 26,
Quote: Sweet26

(I understand that.. all Im saying is that if someone hurt me Id like to get an apology,whether he chooses to take me back is up to him) Quote

************************************************** *********

What good is this going to do you sweet26, he won't apologise for making a choice which he felt was right for him bacause he won't feel that he has done anything wrong!

I don't think it is not an apology you are looking for!

Please don't hurt yourself!

We are only trying to help you because we have been there!

JoeCanada76 · Nov 8, 2006, 04:15 PM

You're a very hurt person, but you know what you are the one that caused this for yourself. Do not expect sympathy from any of us. Now with all your disagrees and not wanting to take any advice and all of your approach dealing with skell, you know what. You are an angry and hateful person and maybe, and I mean maybe if you actually helped yourself and improved on your approach to people and the way you deal with situations then maybe you will actually get further in life.

Joe

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 8, 2006, 04:17 PM

Saying that,

You are going to write this letter no matter what I or anybody says..

Fair enough.. Do it..

But only you know what to say in the letter!

talaniman · Nov 10, 2006, 06:14 AM

After all that advice you still think he will apologise for hurting your feelings. Why should he as from your reactions here you probably pissed him off. Be realistic and move on . To expect some one to bend to your will and give you what you want because you want it is not reality. So give me a red square and move on with your life. Forget the dumb note.