[SoLoSt]

My girlfriend of eight months just left me. She said that she is scared that I'm going to leave her and she would rather leave me than me leave her later. But she says she loves me and I honestly love her to I've talked to her and she said she feels horrible and she doesn't know what to do... neither do I. I told her that I would never leave her but she isn't so sure. She can't let go of me but she won't go back out with me I don't know what to do
:(

[Wildcat21]

Dude - what did you do to push her away?

Chin up - you sounds like you put too much importnace into this gal. Way too much importance.

You need to get busy doing other things. Work out, hang with friends, hang with your family, work harder at work or school, hobbies.

You girlfriend is part of yor life - not your life.

One thing - DON'T CALL HER - DON'T - give her time - do not cpntact - do not absolutetley beg!! Ever!!

Let her miss - now - be busy - do not contact her at all. Do not return her correspondence at all.

[Geoffersonairplane]

my girlfriend of eight months just left me. she said that she is scared that im going to leave her and she would rather leave me than me leave her later. but she says she loves me and i honestly love her to ive talked to her and she said she feels horrible and she doesn't know what to do...neither do i. i told her that i would never leave her but she isnt so sure. she can't let go of me but she wont go back out with me i dont know what to do
:(

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your pain that you are suffering at the moment.

What reason does she have to think that you would leave her, is there anything that you do that makes her feel this way?

If not, I am wondering if she has either been hurt before, and the insecurity has followed her into this relationship, or if she is looking for a subtle excuse for ending the relationship without hurting you too much.

I am inclined to believe that she may be insecure because of past hurt or rejection but what you perhaps need to do is get to the root cause of the problem.

Communication is key here!!

Take care!

I'm sure you will get some more advice or suggestions!

[Geoffersonairplane]

Dude - what did you do to push her away?

Chin up - you sounds like you put too much importnace into this gal. Way too much importance.

You need to het busy doing other things. Work out, hang with friends, hang with your family, work harder at work or school, hobbies.

You girlfriend is part of yor life - not your life.

One thing - DON'T CALL HER - DON'T - give her time - do not cpntact - do not absolutetley beg!!! ever!!!!

Let her miss - now - be busy - do not contact her at all. Do not return her correspondence at all.

Ditto!

[Wildcat21]

Do you put too much pressure on her - call her many times a day - e-mai ltoo much?

[Geoffersonairplane]

That will do it... Push her away..

I did that, problem is, my ex did the same...

But then again, there were other factors, too young for a relationship, wanted the single experimenting thing, you know.

In the end it pushes them away, by being there too much! A lesson to learn from

Read my thread, it may provide some insight or even useful advice from others..

[Wildcat21]

The over contact is what ALWAYS does it. Plus acting needy and insecure. Most women need that feeing that there is a good chance you might just leave - if your too available they take you for granted. If you just pull back sometimes and have them do all the contacting - it helps. Women want mystery - not puppy dog that always comes a running when they call - that's why it's OK to break dates - say your busy many times.

Insecurities can arise even after months of dating someone.

The over contact thing I see happen to so many guys here.

[Depressed in MO]

Why is everyone blaming the poster? I think she is guilty of something and she doesn't want to tell him, but if he should find about it, then she fears he will leave her so she left him first. Baby games regardless... I would let her go and look for someone else.

[Wildcat21]

Great points - we need more detail on her please.

[Skell]

Her excuses are alibis. What a load of BS. She is scared of you leaving so she leaves you first??

c'mon.
That is rubbish. She is lying.

Don't worry about her.

Im sorry about your pain. I really am. But time to move on. She is playing games. I know you can't put a time limit on falling in love but after 8 months you shouldn't be in too deep with this girl. Sure it is a relationship but I will agree with cat and the others that perhaps you put a little too much importance in her.

You need to have other things in life. Not just her.

But anyway, cut contact with her completely. Lean on your friends and family for while Look after yourself. Eat good, work out, run, work hard etc.

Do as many things as possible to take your mind of the pain.

And learn from your mistakes. Reflect on what you could have don't better and improve yourself as a person.

I think you are better than her anyway. She sounds like a girl who is immature and plays games. Don't play them as well!

[chuff]

I tend to think she's hiding something from you and dare I say seeing someone else. I'm going to leave you before you leave me is such a BS cop out. I think it's her way of taking off for somebody new but trying to make you feel guilty or question yourself. I'm not sure you'd want this person in your life to be honest.