[Cloudzero37]

I have recently broke up with a girl... 2 girls in fact... Well, they are basically asking to remain as friends, and I can't deliver... Im confused on whether I should be able to, because they seem to have no trouble remaining as friends while I'm devastated and sinking into depression...

Came to ask the community whether what I am feeling is right, or am I just immature and childish...



Knew Girl "A" through a friend this year, and sparks flew and we got together... Our interests are quite different, but I thought the relationship should be workable if we both understand and give way to each other... It worked out well for a while, during which consists of me giving way most of the time...

Then of course, problems started coming up and it turns out that she wasn't willing to resolve them at all... Her reaction was "Dont make your problem my problem"... We split up soon after a major quarrel, and she said she wanted to remain as friends...

I tried to, but couldn't make it... And her reaction was that I am acting childish and being immature (Which prompts my second sentence)... Was I wrong to want to be alone to heal?



Maybe its because I didn't know her for long... I didn't take that long to heal and get back on my feet... After that I tried to be her friend again, and it kind of worked... So I thought it was just me needing to grow up...



A few months later I got with Girl "B", confessed to each other under unusual circumstances and got together... I knew Girl "B" for 7 years... And we were friends for that long... Always had a small crush on her, and she had the same thing for me...

Things worked well, and I thought this was finally the relationship that would go on till we both croak... Us knowing each other for so long, and her being a super understanding type...

It ended not long ago, when out of the blue she told me that she wasn't ready to move on, using the "Its not you, its me"... So being me, I accepted that... I wanted to be alone, but she wanted to remain as friends... So I gave it a try, and gave up the next day... I didn't answer her calls, and she turned up at my house that night...

We had a talk, where what mostly transpired was me asking her questions she refused to answer, and her bugging me to answer her questions until I did... We made an agreement, to remain as friends on the condition that we don't have any physical contact... I thought I could live with a bit of pain, so long as she doesn't make me remember the past...

She proceeded to break it 2 nights later, she clung on to me, kissed me, bit me... By bite I mean giving me a hickey... It was so much that I thought she was playing a game... The game of "Pretend to dump him so he can start chasing me again"... I was happy that it didn't all end there...

But end it did, she asked me if she was still giving me hope on the next night that we met... It meant that it really did end, and my thought in the earlier paragraph was all a delusion on my part... I... Snapped...


I refused to talk to her, to tell her what's wrong... But yet I posted a message on MSN demanding an apology... And when she finally called me, it seems like I had really hurt her with that... I know I'm wrong to do that, and saying I snapped is no excuse...

Now, she is behaving like nothing as happened... Like we are still friends... But I'm fairly sure I'm in depression now... Sigh...


So... I just want to know, was I wrong to have done what I had done? (Except for the snapped part, I know I'm in the wrong... ) Am I just a childish brat that needs to grow up and learn how to be friends after breakups?


Thanks for your time,
Cloudzero37

[amicon]

You put yourself first and heal from the two breakups. The most quick way to do that is by having no contact with either girl-never mind what their ideas of friendship are. You should be your own first priority
Take time to get over them take time to do your own thing and start enjoyinq your life again.

[Cloudzero37]

So... Ignore the both of them by totally cutting off all contact until I feel well and fit enough to talk to them without feeling uncomfortable? (Uncomfortable is my other word for "Crippled by pain")

[amicon]

Yes you cut all contact and concentrate on you and getting over them.

[jaime90]

Look out for #1 in this kind of situation. Until you're ready to possibly begin contact again, make your wishes known that you don't want to be friends with them. And please, don't start dating until you're ready to get serious and are completely healed from these two breakups. I'm sure the last thing you want is for this to happen again.