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chicagonative · Aug 19, 2009, 09:14 AM

I've been dating a guy for 6 months. Last month he told me that I was the one and that he loved me. He also said he wanted to marry me. The only thing that was stopping him was his family. He called them and told them that I was not of their religion and they said that it was fine. However, when they met me they did not approve 100%.

I could not deal with the pressure of this and broke it off with him. He still calling and texting and I think I acted too fast. Or perhaps, he has changed his mind. What should I do to save this relationship?

Justwantfair · Aug 19, 2009, 09:18 AM

So you broke up with him and now you want to get him back...
He is still calling and texting you, but you think he changed his mind??
Is there more information to process because that conclusion doesn't seem probable.
How old are you?
What besides your religion did they not approve of?
What makes you believe that you would be in a better position now to handle the pressure?
Why are you talking marriage after only 6 months and just meeting the parents?

chicagonative · Aug 19, 2009, 09:27 AM

After the meeting, we were both upset that his parents were not 100% on board. So, I lost my cool and basically said... this is probably not going to work.
I am 28 and he is 32.
I don't know that this week I am in a better place but I think that in the short future... that's why I want to get as much advice as possible before doing anything.
He was talking about marriage, Itold him we should wait a year. I just met the parents because they are very strict in their religion and we did not want them to stop us before we got to know each other.

Justwantfair · Aug 19, 2009, 09:30 AM

Why were they not 100% on board?
Religious differences can be very difficult. Have you talked about the choices to be made to make this relationship work?

chicagonative · Aug 19, 2009, 09:40 AM

They were not specific... but they didn't "dislike me." I think they were just afraid that their son was trying to get married so quickly.

Yes, he and I spoke about the religious differences and he spoke about it to the parents. Everything seemed to have been smoothed over...

I wish I would have had the opportunity to speak with his parents because they probably thought I was pressuring him...

It's all so silly... but now it has been blown out of the water.

HelpinHere · Aug 19, 2009, 12:02 PM

Yep, I agree with the parents.

Six months is NOT ENOUGH TIME to decide to be with someone for the rest of your life. Get him back if you really want to (it wasn't a very good reason to break it off).

Talk with his parents, talk with him, but the marriage can WAIT.

talaniman · Aug 19, 2009, 03:16 PM

I think your cultures are so different that maybe you should both just date for a year, and see how you really feel. But it will never work if your going to be impulsive, and just quit because there are obstacles to overcome. That's not love at all, but is immature in my book.

Loving couples talk, and work to resolve their issues.