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Naj manaj · Oct 26, 2009, 02:24 PM

Well me and my ex have been together for a good 2 years our relationship was like any normal one we had our ups and downs, but always pulled together. But a month ago we had an argument which was scary because we never argued like that, so he decided it was over and we did'nt talk for a whole month, but finally when we started talking again we would fight because I felt like he owed me an explnation, well finally when I aked him where is heart is he told me that he is not readyfor a relationship with me and anyone else, but later when I kissed him he kissed me back and held me real tight and told me he is confused. Well I told him if we are meant to be we will, and told him I would like to be friends, but latley he calls me a lot and texts me, and we talk on the phone for a good 7 hours, but the thing is I'm still in love with him, and I know he is still too, but what should I do, to win his heart over.

Jayjay027 · Oct 26, 2009, 02:27 PM

Stop all contact with him!

He doesn't want you as his girlfriend, but is happy to string you along with chats, which is hurting you more and confusing you more, but easing his guilt at breaking it off.

To start healing yourself, you need to stop all contact with him. Don't answer his calls or reply to his texts, if he really wants you, he won't be confused for long when he has to face life without you!

redhed35 · Oct 26, 2009, 02:29 PM

Sounds like a lot of crossed wires and lack of communication.

Neither one of you know where you stand.

The big argument has shaken your confidence in the relationship,and most likely his as well.

I suggest you talk it out,and keep talking it out.

But remember,you can't make someone want to be with you or love you,either they do or they don't.

talaniman · Oct 26, 2009, 07:09 PM

You mean you talked for 7 hours but resolved nothing?? Then I guess your ready to give up your explanation to keep the peace, and him. Wonder what he compromises on to keep you?? Maybe you need another 7 hour talk, and get real this time. Or else quit talking, and leave him alone, until his confusion clears.

Enigma1999 · Oct 26, 2009, 10:47 PM

Hello N,

I agree with everyone else.

The best thing for you to do is to cut off all lines of communication, UNLESS, it is to try to rectify your differences. He sounds as if he is very confused as to what he wants. I do believe that he still has strong feelings for you. However, when someone needs time and space to sort things out, then usually they need time and space. Not saying you two will never get back together again. After all you said it yourself, what will be will be.

I do have one question though, what did the 7 hours consist of while you were on the phone with him?

Jake2008 · Oct 26, 2009, 11:36 PM

I think that its good you are still keeping the lines of communication open. I see no harm in talking to him. You will soon see if he is willing to enter back into a relationship or not. Perhaps time apart has given him a new perspective.

My advice is to keep communicating with him. Just be very aware of putting yourself in a position when you are unsure. He may pressure you to be more involved, and be strong enough to say no if you are not ready, or convinced that things have changed enough to make it really work.

You'll know soon enough. And if it doesn't work out, so be it. Be prepared to move on as well.