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knight2010 · Oct 22, 2009, 11:34 PM

Here is the story... one of my best friends is a girl. One who used to have a crush on me, but clearly not anymore. About one month ago I had just come from a different relationship of which my friend (the girl) was the most supportive and caring during the pre and post break-up stages.
Though I have just come out of a relationship that I honestly had no desire to end, I am starting to realize just what could be between my friend and I. don't get me wrong, I'm not bouncing back after just a few weeks; I am very much still in the middle of the healing stage. But after a lot of thinking and talking with her, I'm starting get that feeling, the one that says there is a lot of potential here.

So my question is, how do I go about encouraging her into a deeper relationship? And honestly would it be better just to stay as friends.

azif · Oct 23, 2009, 12:08 AM

Not sure

If you're still healing then don't think about it till the time comes

Just remember that is unlikely/cant go back the other way if things don't work out

amicon · Oct 23, 2009, 01:37 AM

As you are still healing from your breakup you are not ready for a new relationship yet.
Take your time to heal,enjoy friendships but don't get involved and do a rebound which isn't fair on the other person.

slapshot_oi · Oct 23, 2009, 05:03 AM

Originally Posted by knight2010

here is the story.... one of my best friends is a girl. one who used to have a crush on me, but clearly not anymore.

That should quell your thoughts of becoming more than friends. If you already know she's not into you, then don't waste your time.

adam_89 · Oct 23, 2009, 05:09 AM

Sometimes it isn't to smart to get into a relationship with a girl that is a friend. If she was a good friend and you did a lot together and had a lot in common and then finally decided to hook up, it could go 3 ways. One, you two get together and stay together for a long time. Another is that you guys stay together for awhile and break up and you never talk again, or last, you guys date and then break up but nothing ever changed between the two of you. The last one is very unlikely to happen. Just enjoy what you have and if it happens it will happen. You will know when the time comes if there is something more and she feels it too.

adam_89 · Oct 23, 2009, 05:20 AM

Oh, and to add to my last post. I don't have many female friends anymore because I dated most of them and they never worked out then the friendship ended too. Then there was one friend of mine that I asked out and she was a really good friend and she was dating someone already so she obviously said no and somehow things became awkward and our friendship slowly ended.

kctiger · Oct 23, 2009, 05:50 AM

Originally Posted by knight2010

i am very much still in the middle of the healing stage. but after a lot of thinking and talking with her, i'm starting get that feeling, the one that says there is a lot of potential here.

I think this kind of says it all. It is easy to fawn over a female when we are still healing because we have a feeling of loneliness. You never felt that way before because you weren't as vulnerable to attention from her. Now that you are a bit down and out, the attention from her is noticed at an accelerated rate and becomes more intense than it actually should be.

I wish · Oct 23, 2009, 06:32 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ow-398586.html

Wait until you've healed from your last break up before jumping into a new relationship. Otherwise you're just on the rebound.

Just keep getting to know more people and enjoying your time with the people that you spend it with.

You're single now. There's no need to rush into another relationship. Just enjoy the single life for a bit.

Romefalls19 · Oct 23, 2009, 07:12 AM

Wait until you heal and have your head on straight.. It's a lengthy process man. I tried the rebound thing, left me worse

nikosmom · Oct 23, 2009, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Wait until you heal and have your head on straight..It's a lengthy process man. I tried the rebound thing, left me worse

I agree and it's not fair to you or the new girl because you can't fully give yourself when you're still hung up on your last relationship.

--Charles-- · Oct 23, 2009, 08:10 AM

Get over your past relationship. Then if I were you id get closer and closer to the new girl. Just start hanging out with her more. Show her your good qualities and your morals (girls love good morals). Then once it gets to a building point of where your talking to her almost 3-5 hours a day (use myspace or Facebook to get in more hours, believe me it helps) then ask her out ^_^

talaniman · Oct 23, 2009, 10:24 AM

Why not deal with your healing and not get so carried away by her supporting you as friends do, and seeing more than what it is. Keep your friendship within those boundaries and see how you feel after you have had enough time to heal.

knight2010 · Oct 24, 2009, 09:29 PM

You guys are all right... thanks so much for the advice, I will definitely be taking it. There is no need to rush things. What happens, happens. I'll just take it as it comes.