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    knight2010's Avatar
    knight2010 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 21, 2009, 08:57 PM
    Is she still in love with me? And how can I encourage to know this?
    Okay here is the basis and background of this question...
    I have been together with this girl, who to be totally honest, means the world to me. We've dated 9 months and been though the ups and downs of every situation/ argument and every time we've come out feeling we've grown together though the experience.
    A little story to go along...
    Sunday couldn't have been better. We hadn't seen each other in a few days, and the second she saw me, she jumped into my arms and seemed to be as happy as I've ever seen her. We only had thirty minutes together, but the emotion flowing out of her then was enough for a life time :)
    Next day... Monday, I'm still hyped up over the fact that she loves me so much, however the tables seem to have flipped for her. She has become overwhelmed with stress and won't let me help. Every advance to just say I love you, hug, or offer for help is gone unnoticed, or responded to with indifference. I probably do the wrong thing (like usual) but I confront her, and after a brief argument in which she tells me that all the I love you's and offers for help are being extreme and draining her energy for the relationship; I ask bluntly if she still loves me and how could it have changed so quickly over one night, her answer was: I honestly don't know. :(

    To end the conversation I tell her that I will be waiting just as I am, loving and adoring her throughout the roughest of times.

    Those aren't just words... I mean them with all my heart. She could treat me like dirt, and I would still call her my angel.
    Dumb, irrational, stupid or just plain retarded, I don't know, but I will not be able to change how much I love her. I can't.
    So what should I do? And please don't tell me just to get over it. She is worth more than diamonds in my eyes; who would want to "just get over that"?

    Thanks for the help. I truly do appreciate it
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
    Ultra Member

    Sep 21, 2009, 09:04 PM

    Give her some time and space by not contacting her for a while and see where things go.

    You cannot wait for her forever. At some point if she does not give you anything back, you will have no choice but to move on.
    knight2010's Avatar
    knight2010 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 23, 2009, 06:30 PM

    Your right... but that is eventually. Is there anything that I can do other than stepping back that will encourage her to love me again?
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
    Ultra Member

    Sep 23, 2009, 06:33 PM

    Ask her what she needs from you during this stressful time. Then, give that, whatever it is.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855

    Sep 23, 2009, 07:10 PM
    Give her some room to breathe, fella. Find something else to do until she calls you.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert

    Sep 23, 2009, 07:35 PM
    You asked if there's something that you can do? You can leave her alone. She just needs some time to figure things out and some times the best thing to do is do nothing at all. She will contact you when she sorts out her problems. Another thing you can do is be patient with her.

    Go do your own thing. Stay busy so that you don't have to sit around worrying about her.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855

    Sep 24, 2009, 07:03 AM

    is there anything that I can do other than stepping back that will encourage her to love me again?
    NO! Its entirely up to her. Be aware you can piss her off though, and spoil everything by not backing off.
    unaffected's Avatar
    unaffected Posts: 58, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member

    Sep 24, 2009, 07:22 AM
    It sounds a bit as if you are smothering her. The day that she was acting indifferent towards all of your "I love you's" etc, and you kept going with them, that probably made it worse.

    As others have said, just give her a little room to figure out exactly what she wants. Try your hardest not to smother her.

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