[John Jackson]

I'm only recently coming to terms with being gay. Only a few months ago I made a friend at work who lives in the same little town that I do. We began carpooling and soon became very close, spending almost everyday together. Finally I felt I had a friend who was available since he was always up for going camping or taking day trips. Both of us were thrilled to have a new friend. He has hinted a couple of times in a half way joking manner that he knows I'm gay but he's OK with it. He gave no indication of withdrawing from me and in fact many times has been quite affectionate. Until recently, we spent most evenings at one or the other's house. I have woken up on several occasions to us cuddling and just assumed he didn't know. He talks about girls a lot and I have taken his word that he likes them. A few weeks ago he met a girl online and his focus completely shifted directions, constantly texting and emailing her. At first I thought nothing of it and of course accepted, or thought I did, that this is what he was looking for. While we don't hang out everyday like we did, we still spend time together on a regular basis. It is different, however, since he thinks and talks about her a lot and spends half the time texting her. I believe that if I loved him I would be happy for him, but instead I'm annoyed and unable to hide it. He has noticed I don't seem happy like I was. When he has asked, I've told him that this is a difficult transition for me since I used to look forward to us hanging out at the end of the day, and understandably things have changed. I've said I'll get over this eventually but now I'm not sure that's true. He knows this is hard for me and is responding like a good friend. I don't expect him to change what he is doing, I just don't know how to be my old, cheerful self. The last thing I want to do is destroy a friendship. I just feel like running away.

[talaniman]

I get you're a bit jealous, and may feel rejected, that's normal, gay or not, for humans, because your friends, and have become attached.

If you want this friendship to work and not be as jealous, or unhappy, you will have to back away from your friend a bit, and give him space to do other things he likes to do.

You in turn will be giving yourself time and space to balance your own life with others whom you befriend, and like.

In this way you both benefit best from the friendship, and the ability to do and enjoy your own thing. That makes you both happy. It also gives you a better perspective on things, and something to look forward to, instead of just him, or your own needs.

I hope this helps. Its not easy when your life has such a narrow focus.