[misskittyz]

I have a best friend, I'm a very happly married woman. My best friend is gay. I no this but we never discused it. We are together everyday at 5 pm for cocktails. Trust me when I say this were very different. I'm very a people person he's not. I have always tried to help him. Without sounding vain, I made him popular. Feels odd saying that cause I'm 40 and that sounds like high school. Point is things have slowly got weird. I feel he's jeaulous over anyone talks to me. Keep in mine I'm married. He tried to kiss me recently. He's had very hard life. I love him he's been there for me and I for him. Point is.. I didn't but inside wanted to kiss him to. I did what I do best played it off. We know all about each other. If I didn't know him I never would give him time of day. Not my type. Even if not married. But my best friends the one I act a fool with. Well I don't know what's happening, where we use to look at each other and bust out laughing. Now is different. Having dreams. Hands hit by accident we freak out. etc. what's up?

[Clough]

Hi, misskittyz!

What's happening, is that you're falling for him and possibly each other.

Well, you do know about boundaries. He's single and you're not. You seem to have a very level, reasoning head on your shoulders. Please stick to what your head thinks and knows concerning what is right and wrong, and not what your heart does in this sort of situation.

It's possible to be in love with any number of people at the same time. I'm still in love with some of the women that I dated over twenty years ago.

But, for one thing or another, things didn't work out. It doesn't mean that we don't still love each other though. Friendship can and is still there with some of them. But, once you've made a commitment and vows to a person, then you stick with that person.

All others can be friends, close friends, best friends, etc. But, that which is most intimately shared needs to be with your spouse.

My advice would be to have an honest and open conversation with your gay friend with the way things are and to try to get back to that which you had as far as friendship is concerned. You might need some time off from each other in order to get back to the way that you were.

That's my thoughts for now...

Hopefully, others will also come along to address your question.

Thanks!

[starbuck8]

I think you are living out some kind of taboo fantasy, or are trying to create excitement in your life. You should be doing that with your husband. This man is gay! You are married! He is the one you probably go to and tell all of your problems to, like a best girlfriend.

I feel badly for your husband. It doesn't sound like you have very good communication with him at all. I think you should talk to your friend and tell him that you made a mistake, and you need to put the focus back on your marriage. And then do just that! You are playing games! This isn't something a 40 yr. old married woman should be doing. That sounds quite immature. You are looking for something that you know isn't within your reach, so it's relatively safe. Well it isn't safe. You are playing with fire, and nothing good can come from this. Stop what you are doing, and work on having a real relationship with your husband.

[Clough]

I couldn't spread the "love" so soon after spreading it so soon, Starby. You said what I was basically trying to say, but a lot better than I could!

Thanks!

[talaniman]

Time to back up, and let him know he is crossing the lines of friendship, and good behavior, and your letting him.

Your way to comfortable with each other. Too many 5 pm cocktails?

Stop it

But you knew that, didn't you??