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    courtnie10's Avatar
    courtnie10 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 16, 2009, 12:53 PM
    Wanting to leave husband and go to diff state w/daughter
    Hello. I have been married for 3 years, and have been separated for a little over 4 months now. I currently reside in MA with my 19 month old daughter. My husband/her father is stationed in CA. I am currently in CA visiting him with our daughter. However, I am wanting to go back home with her (MA is where we are both from and where both families are). He is telling me that I can not leave with her. He has been extremely verbally abusive to me the past few days, and quite frankly I am scared being here. I am wondering if I were to get a plane ticket and find a way to the airport if he could claim I "kidnapped" our daughter, even though she has been with me the whole time, and we have been living in MA. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Once I get back to MA I am filing for divorce. I had to wait to file to get an official copy of marriage cert. thank you.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Oct 16, 2009, 12:55 PM

    What is your legal residence? How long were you in MA?

    If you are legally separated this should be covered in your separation agreement. If you are informally separated - you are "here" and he is "there" - you cannot simply pack up your child and leave. He, as the father, has the same rights you, as the mother have, and he couldn't pack up the child and leave the State.

    You need an Attorney - now.

    If you are allowed to file for divorce in MA you must have established residency there - ?
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #3

    Oct 16, 2009, 01:02 PM

    From the sounds of what your saying the answer is yes you can leave. How long have you been " just visiting " ?

    From what Im reading he is in the service and your out in Calif seeing him ? If that is correct then you already have a home state. Both of you do regardless of where he is stationed.
    courtnie10's Avatar
    courtnie10 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Oct 16, 2009, 01:13 PM
    I have been here visiting for 2 weeks. I want to leave ASAP. I am just afraid he might claim I kidnapped her?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    Oct 16, 2009, 02:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by courtnie10 View Post
    i have been here visiting for 2 weeks. i want to leave ASAP. i am just afraid he might claim i kidnapped her?

    Please read my answer and answer my questions - it is impossible to advise you without additional info so as what is your LEGAL residence. What State?

    Unless you are LEGALLY SEPARATED he has the same rights to the child that you have. I can't decide if you lived in California, established residency, went to MA, visited in CA, what the situation is.

    If your husband is smart, now that you've told him of your plans, he will file for an Order to keep you from leaving with the child.

    YOU NEED TO TALK TO AN ATTORNEY!

    If you leave and get dragged back by the Courts it will be an unpleasant and expensive experience!
    courtnie10's Avatar
    courtnie10 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Oct 16, 2009, 02:08 PM
    My legal state of residence is MA. I have never lived in CA. there is no "legal separation" in MA, either.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #7

    Oct 16, 2009, 04:13 PM

    What happened in the separation? Did he move out or was he redeployed and you didn't accompany him?

    Without knowing what went on there its hard to advise you. But my gut feeling is that you are just visiting and the child is in your custody and you can go home again.
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