[Shaam]

Hi, Im going to get married next year with my girl friend. She is not interested in sex and she feels its disgusting and painful.. She says, 'I feel vomitting when I think about it' and she asking me not to force her for that.. I am very much interested and I'm afraid that we'll get misunderstanding because of this.. Can you please advice how to change her negative opinion about having sex?:(

[Synnen]

Get her into counseling.

She's not going to change without it.

[Shaam]

Thanks, but she knows all the technical terms about sex, and above that, she is a psychology student..

[Wondergirl]

Thanks, but she knows all the technical terms about sex, and above that, she is a psychology student..

Counseling isn't about learning to have sex, but is about how someone thinks and feels about it. And her being a psych student has nothing to do with anything.

Ask her to go to counseling with you, preferably to a counselor who works with couples and sexual satisfaction. If she won't go, I suggest you reconsider marrying her.

[rockie100]

Put the wedding plans on hold until she agrees to go to counseling. You wouldn't want this to be a lasting problem. You would regret getting into a sexless union.

[smoothy]

I agree... put that wedding on hold until AFTER she resolves that issue.

No man without serious ED or ZERO libido would be happy in that marriage. Doesn't matter how nice or sweet she may be. Without sex, you really are better off just being friends... and nothing more.

[Cat1864]

How old are you? How old is she?

What worries me is to have that strong of a reaction to just the thought of sex, there has to be something very wrong in her past. She needs counseling to deal with what caused the issue as well as the issue itself. IF she is a psychology student, then she should be aware that this is not a natural way to feel.

This is not something you can change her mind about. Trying might even cause more damage. She needs a professional to help her work through the problem.