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CClements · Oct 6, 2009, 12:14 PM

My wife has a 10 year old son that the father is unknown. When my son was born my wife was dating a guy and he was put on the birth certificate. Now since he is not my sons father (I say my son instead of step-son because I feel like he is my son) do I need his consent in order to adopt? Also his possible bio-dad is a friend of mine and isn't wanting to mess up his marriage by telling his wife of this situation. My question is do I need the fathers (according to the birth-cert.) permission to adopt and if not do I need to make my friend take a paternity test and get his permission? Or can I just go down and try to adopt him and hope no-one objects? Willing to do whatever legwork it takes to adopt him but would like to have an idea what I'm up against before I start start the process

GV70 · Oct 6, 2009, 12:33 PM

Originally Posted by CClements

My wife has a 10 year old son that the father is unknown. when my son was born my wife was dating a guy and he was put on the birth certificate.

What??

Originally Posted by CClements

now since he is not my sons father (i say my son instead of step-son because i feel like he is my son) do i need his consent in order to adopt?

Legally-yes!

Originally Posted by CClements

also his possible bio-dad is a friend of mine and isnt wanting to mess up his marriage by telling his wife of this situation. my question is do i need the fathers (according to the birth-cert.) permission to adopt and if not do i need to make my friend take a paternity test and get his permission? or can i just go down and try to adopt him and hope no-one objects? willing to do whatever legwork it takes to adopt him but would like to have an idea what im up against before i start start the process

Hmmm.If he is listed of the child BC he has all rights and obligations.

CClements · Oct 6, 2009, 03:43 PM

The possible father is not the one on the birth cert

cdad · Oct 6, 2009, 03:44 PM

Were you married at the time the baby was born ? Or was she still a girlfriend ?

Fr_Chuck · Oct 6, 2009, 04:17 PM

What you really have is a mess, the person listed on the birth certificate is legally the father, does not matter if he is or not. He shoiuld have been paying child support all these years also.

So your problems, he has to sign over his rights, since legally to the courts he is the father, but in here lies the issues, since everyone seems to know he is not the father, he may object, ask for a DNA test, then the other posible father may have to be searched for to be tested and have them sign over their rights.

JudyKayTee · Oct 6, 2009, 05:59 PM

First, you have no part in this. It's between the mother and father. This child, no matter how much you love him, is your stepson.

The father is on the birth certificate and is legally the father - as others have said. I have no idea why your wife asked him to sign the birth certificate if she knew he wasn't the father and she never intended to file for support.

But it's too late for all of that now - yes, he has to consent to the adoption. If you can't find him an Attorney can get a Court Order to serve him by publication.

This is a big enough mess now - I would not proceed without an Attorney.