[aburleson06]

My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years, we have a beautiful 19 month old boy. I work full time, go to school full time, and I am a wife and mother, yet I still want to have sex with my husband. I know I am not like "model" material, but Im not unattractive. Strangers in Walmart give me more passionate glances than my own husband does. I have tried everything to get him to, from dressing up to toys, but nothing seems to be working. And when we do have sex, I do all of the work, he barely touches me, and he doesn't even bother to please me. I don't know what to do. Is there any males out there that can give me an answer from a male point of view? PLEASE HELP ME

[Cat1864]

Some of these questions may seem indelicate, but please bear with me. I am only trying to understand the dynamics of the relationship.

How old are both of you? Is he under any stresses from work or school? How is he as a father and house-mate?

Did his interest wane before or after the birth of your child? Some men have problems seeing the wife instead of the mother. Some people also get unnerved by the thought that a child might hear or come in during the action.

I dislike asking this question, but did you get married because you were pregnant? Could he be feeling trapped in a marriage that maybe happened too soon?

You say that you have tried clothing, etc. Have you tried sitting down and discussing your feelings with him?

[jmjoseph]

Some guys change after the birth of a child. I personally don't understand it, but it happens a lot. Did he witness the childbirth? I know guys at work that say" don't go in there, you'll never look at your wife the same" I'll have to ask one of them Monday what he meant. For me, it made me appreciate my wife even more, witnessing what she went through. WOW! I don't see how you women do it, but am glad it's not us guys that have babies. We'd be extinct. If a baby was as big as a walnut I would want an epidural.

I think you should sit down with him and explain your feelings.

Some people fall out of love. Some people fall out of lust. Some do both.

Maybe something is going on with his health. Has he had an exam lately? Is he taking some type of medicine? Is he working long hours?

I'm 47 and I can't keep my hands off of my wife, so he can't blame his age.

As far as him not trying to please you, that's just selfish. As far as you doing all the work, that's just lazy.

Talk to him, maybe see a counselor .

Good luck to you.

[Gemini54]

Communication, communication, communication. It's only been two years.

Talk to him, if you haven't already. It's been said dozens of times before, but our biggest sex organ is out brain.

You need to find out what's happening in his brain (firstly having ruled out any physical problems).

There may be a range of things that are happening and the questions Cat has posed are a great starting point.

[smoothy]

Could be the fact that you obviously gave the kid ALL of your attention... maybe to the point of ignoring him the last 19 months... and that's a long time and he took it to heart or it can be any combination of what was mentioned above by the others.