[dumped2manytimes]

It’s been awhile. I honestly think that I am going crazy. I mentioned earlier that my ex of 7 years was getting married. Well it was this Saturday, and I almost died. I don’t want him back, because he treated me very badly. But I’m not sure how to react, how to think, what to do. I did mention that I have no family, and that my circles of friends are limited. I’m from a small city and it’s really difficult to make friends. Unfortunately I did not take your advice, I did make contact with this other guy, but I must say I’ve been good, haven’t spoken to him in a while, and have deleted his numbers. The thing is my only friend, announced that she is getting married, end of the year, after knowing the guy for about 6 months. Now, I’m happy for her, but suddenly I the single one – are not important at all. They don’t have time for me; they make plans without me etc. I know that she is emerging on this new journey, and that her life with her man is important, but I’m the friend who was there for many many many sad times. I feel neglected, I feel lonely, I feel demoted, and I don’t know how to get rid of this feeling. I also want to get married; I’m fed up of waking up alone every single day!! I’m trying to stay positive; I’m trying to see the good in every day, but I JUST CAN”T!!

Some people might call this depression, and guess what? I KNOW its depression, so I picked up the phone the other day, phoned a doctor and made any appointment for later this month. First step?? I know this was a good thing, but I’m tired of waiting for things to happen, I need my life to be sorted now… I want to feel loved. Anyway…. Still 2 weeks to go, please help me, to stay sane.

Some advise to all the people out there, that want to go back to there exes etc, etc. DON’T!! I’m prove that it doesn’t work, it’s call a breakup because it’s broken. It’s so true. I should have listened and stay away. We are worth so much more, and I’m in the dumps now, but I tell you what, give me a couple of months, and I will be back on my feet again. I know I’ll have down days. But you know what? God created us, and made no trash, (why then, do we allow people to treat us that way)

:D

[Krs]

Would you consider packing your bags and going travelling somewhere alone?
You will meet people and make new friends as you go along and besides I think something like this would do you a world of good.
:)

[dumped2manytimes]

I'm considering it everyday!! But the problem is Money... ;-) I'm working on the money issue.. Saving... I will do it in about 3 months...

[Krs]

Good for you.
Have a plan. Having a plan always sets your mind to achieve and motivate yourself for a better future ahead of you.

[wap]

Oh, I feel for you, I don't like being single after 4 years : ( but I am beginning to be happy with my own company, learning italian, doing driving theory etc, even just watching TV : ) going to the gym is the main one for me. It's not easy, and round about our age people do pair off and get married : ( I am lucky as none of my friends have. I only have one friend with a boyfriend! Send me a private message anytime and I will see if I can help cheer u up, and give advice : )

[Wildcat21]

Get busy living or get busy dying.

YOU have to make things happen in your life.

Do you work out? Do you eat right? Do you take vitamins?

How about dating sites? Yahoo is a good one - most normal - down to earth people. You may have to travel a little bit. I strongly advise doing a profile.

If you don't like being with yourself - or don't love yourself - how are others going gto do this??

[Skell]

You have two options.

You can continue to make it all about you and your feelings and feel sorry for yourself.

Or you can break out of this rut. Create somehting for yourself and tackle life head one. Meet new friends, go to new places (if you really want to you will get the money through hard work and saving)..

You in a rut. You don't love yourself. You seem stagnant.

Well I challenge you to break it.

I know its hard, but try and stop pitying yourself. Yes you are going through a bad time. I know to. My ex of 7 years left me too and I hurt. But I don't sit aorund anymore feeling sorry for myself. That got me no where and it will continue to get you nowhere.

C'mon dumped2manytimes. Get out there and show the world what a great person you are.

Love yourself first and then others will too!!

[talaniman]

Life is full of peaks and valleys so all you need is a plan to break out of a small rut. Do something bold and different works for me but never sit alone and say -oh woe is me- Sitting on the pity pot and feeling sorry for ones self will get you plenty of misery and pain so don't go there.

[Wildcat21]

Some people want the misery and pain.

[s_cianci]

Having an excessive, perceived need for a relationship will often cause us to lose our better judgment and allow people to mistreat us. The best cure for that is to get active and get busy. You sound like you have limited connections in your current situation (have you relocated recently?), so the thing to do is to get involved. Take a class or a vacation. Join a bowling league or a dance club. Find a church that has a lot of members approximately your own age and get involved in that. Do volunteer work or get a part-time job. If you haven't recently relocated, you might want to consider that as well, career permitting. Do you live in a rural area? You may want to try living somewhere more urban. The list of possibilities is endless but you've got to make the moves and, as they say, just get out there.

[sampson124]

The grass may seem greener on the other side but I assure you it can suck 10 times worse when things go bad. Don't rush into a relationship looking for marriage. 60% of all marriages end in divorce. After 10 yrs of marriage I lost my kids, my house, my truck, half of my pension and all of my 401k with 33% child support for the next 12 yrs along with maintenance. Oh and a $24,000 lawyer bill to boot. I rushed into my marriage because it was "the right thing to do". Listen to the other posts and live single before you marry. There is so much to keep you busy enjoying life being single. When you realize that you don't "need " someone to make you happy is when you should consider marriage.

[LivingtheLifeinFLA]

First of all be careful what the doctor prescribes to you. The Paxil and Prozac are short term remedies and frankly they are hard to get off. I went on them when I was in a similar position. My problem is not lack of woman, but finding the right one due to me being very picky. I stopped them and did the following.

Your best bet is to stop caffeine (being alone causes anxiety and caffeine accelerates it) and start exercising. Take a walk each night after work without the iPod. This will allow you to gather your thoughts and think about yourself. Think about your issues, and then think about solutions to your issues. Why am I in this situation, etc. (guarantee you it will stem from your parents)

Next, I would look at joining a group. As you need to find a new best friend. Your other friend is not gone, just missing in action temporarily, if indeed they were a great friend. Time will let you know, as all my friends got married and I know which one are now loyal and which ones abandoned me. By joining a group, you will meet new friends.

Best of luck to you. I know it sucks, but if you settle for someone, just to not be alone, you will be miserable in due time. Slowly you will learn to really enjoy being with yourself.

[dumped2manytimes]

I'm just reading this post I posted last year, and I can't believe the difference. Well the ex did get married. I did meet someone new, it worked for a while and then he dumped me. Met someone again, the most amazing guy, only problem he lives in another country. But we friends and that OK with me. The guy that dumped me came back, (after I backed off) and I’m now happier than ever. I’m not lying; sometimes it’s very hard, because of the heartache and the fact that I still need a lot of reassurance, and I need to trust 100 %, but I’m happy. I love myself, even though I gained a few kg, the guy loves me. I have wonderful friends, I have a wonderful job. To breakup is a sad, sad thing, but you know, that’s part of life. And the only advice I can give is, don’t go back to your ex, don’t make a fool of yourself, don’t allow them to use and abuse you, don’t allow them to belittle you. A ex is a ex for a reason. And believe me I talk because of experience, I needed to be loved, but it takes time… for some longer.
And for the young ones out there, you’re so young, you don’t need to worry about relationships and stuff, enjoy your life.
And the best part is, I have God in my heart!