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ecnarrek · Sep 17, 2009, 08:01 AM

I was in a relationship with a married man yes I know it is not right but it happens and now it is over I am keeping my distance but he is still pursuing with me ringing me when he is at work and emailing me, I think he wants to start it back again but he will never leave what can I do? He says he wants to be friends and still be there for me.

I wish · Sep 17, 2009, 08:19 AM

What do you want?

Here are a few observations before hand:

1) Married = Off limits

2) He's a cheater

ecnarrek · Sep 17, 2009, 08:21 AM

I know what I want but it is not right because he will never leave her I can do nothing more than I have already done

I wish · Sep 17, 2009, 08:22 AM

If you stick around hoping that he's going to leave his wife, then you're just setting yourself up to get hurt.

Why can't you find someone else who's single? There are 6 billion other people in the world.

kctiger · Sep 17, 2009, 08:23 AM

Block his emails and ignore him. This isn't really that difficult. Cut off the communication and he will soon realize you aren't his fall back anymore.

ecnarrek · Sep 17, 2009, 08:23 AM

Because I know that deep dwon he does want to be with me

kctiger · Sep 17, 2009, 08:24 AM

Originally Posted by ecnarrek

because i know that deep dwon he does want to be with me

Yet he left you to go back to his wife... :rolleyes:

Can you not see what a dead end situation this is?

amicon · Sep 17, 2009, 08:30 AM

He left you to go back to his wife now he wants you to be his friend?Red flag he wants to have his cake and eat it.You re well shot of him and let it remain so.

ecnarrek · Sep 17, 2009, 08:34 AM

Think I need to remain strong and not let him back in although I really want to and it was the wife that said to me are you going to pursue it, when it is him I have got a good mind to tell her but I would not do that.

kctiger · Sep 17, 2009, 08:35 AM

Get some morals and character and leave the loser alone. Don't enable an already weak man to be even weaker. You deserve a man that can actually make you his main priority, not a priority when he can't get laid at home.

BMI · Sep 17, 2009, 08:37 AM

Dear Madam, NOTHING in this situation was done with a good mind. You've no basis to even think about telling his wife anything. I feel real sorry that she has to deal with the two of you.

ecnarrek · Sep 17, 2009, 08:40 AM

She thinks it is over well as I am concerned it is

So why when he said it was over is he now pursuing it when he knows he hurt me by saying he was not going to leave? I do believe he loves me but just does not want to be with me

amicon · Sep 17, 2009, 09:05 AM

Judge him by his actions not his words.He treats both you and his wife like rubbish but he tells you he loves you and that makes it all right?I don't think so.Be strong-reject him.

BMI · Sep 17, 2009, 09:06 AM

Believe whatever you'd like.

Guess he loves you so much he contacts you after choosing his wife over you because he's looking for a... picnic in the park? Or maybe it's something else? I wonder?

I really don't mean to seem harsh but in a way I do. I just can't sympathize with situations involving people who don't like being hurt but care little, if at all, who is really being hurt.

Your pride is hurt, you feelings are hurt, how do you think his wife feels? If you cared you'd not be posting questions about what he really wants and looking for answers that will tell you he does love you.

That is all.

ecnarrek · Sep 17, 2009, 09:09 AM

And what questions do I ask to find out if he really does love me ?

kctiger · Sep 17, 2009, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by ecnarrek

and what questions do i ask to find out if he really does love me ?

Is this a joke? Are you reading any of our advice? He is married! Grow up and leave it alone! Your ignorance to this situation is almost humorous.

ecnarrek · Sep 17, 2009, 09:14 AM

If you understood you would not be saying that obviously you don't!

talaniman · Sep 17, 2009, 09:21 AM

My dear, if you can't see he is training you to be his piece on the side with no strings attached, then there is no advice we can give you, or answers to your questions.

He doesn't love you, he loves what you can give when he wants it, a distraction from his dreary life and a romp in the hay. That's what his actions say, so stop listening to the words of a lying cheater.

If his words were true, he would be with you, not the wife. If he would cheat on his wife, (the one he chose over you), he will cheat on you, too.

Originally Posted by ecnarrek

and what questions do i ask to find out if he really does love me ?

Once you close your legs to him, trust me, he will find someone else.

Try it ( no sex with him) and let me know how much he loves you then.

You could do better if you woke up, and stop being his willing fool.

amicon · Sep 17, 2009, 09:26 AM

Understand what?That he cheated on his wife then left you now wants to be
FRIENDS?
We re all saying the same thing here-try to understand this.

Ren6 · Sep 17, 2009, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by ecnarrek

and what questions do i ask to find out if he really does love me ?

If he really loved you, he'd leave his wife. He chose his wife over you. He wouldn't mind having sex with you occasionally, but he's never going to leave his wife for you. You are the other woman.