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Question44 · Sep 14, 2009, 11:05 AM

Hello! I have a two and a half year old son and he has the biological fathers last name (I was very stupid). We were never married. He was abusive, used drugs and an alcoholic. I do have a copy of a police report for violence against a family member (me) and I did file a report with CPS on one occasion (to give them a heads up of an altercation while my son was present). The fathers name is not on the birth certificate and I have not seen or spoken him in almost two and a half years. The birth took place in Texas and my son and I now live in Florida. I have no idea where the biological father may be. Can I change my sons last name to mine in the state of Florida without the biological father?

ballengerb1 · Sep 14, 2009, 11:07 AM

Which name is on the birth certificate, that is your child's current and true legal name.

Question44 · Sep 14, 2009, 11:17 AM

Originally Posted by ballengerb1

Which name is on the birth certificate, that is your child's current and true legal name.

My maiden name is on the birth certifcate and my son has the biological fathers last name of the birth certificate. I'd like to change my sons to my maiden name.

ballengerb1 · Sep 14, 2009, 11:20 AM

Ok your name is on the cert where it lists mother and the bio dad is listed as father. What/which last name does your boy have as his last name?

Question44 · Sep 14, 2009, 11:26 AM

Originally Posted by ballengerb1

Ok your name is on the cert where it lists mother and the bio dad is listed as father. What/which last name does your boy have as his last name?

The father is not listed on the birth certificate at all. Only my name is listed. I was married to someone else at the time of the birth, even though we had been separated for a few years. Luckily, I couldn't place the biological fathers name on the certificate because technically my husband was the legal father. My ex-husband and I denied his paternity in the divorce decree. I still made the mistake of giving my son the biological fathers last name on the birth certificate though. It's a mess.

ballengerb1 · Sep 14, 2009, 11:47 AM

Ok I understand better now. Wow, a real mess. You can have his name changed in court but it will go smoother with an attorney. Name Change Forms - How to Change Your Name Legally - State Specific

cdad · Sep 14, 2009, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by Question44

The father is not listed on the birth certificate at all. Only my name is listed. I was married to someone else at the time of the birth, even though we had been seperated for a few years. Luckily, I couldn't place the biological fathers name on the certificate because technically my husband was the legal father. My ex-husband and I denied his paternity in the divorce decree. I still made the mistake of giving my son the biological fathers last name on the birth certificate though. It's a mess.

Did you make it legal and have a judge sign off on removal of parental rights for your ex husband ? If you both agreed that he wasn't the father then you missed a few steps. What does it say in your divorce decree ? Did your ex relinuish his rights through order of the courts.

To answer your question your going to have to find the father of the child and establish paternity then have him approve of a name change for the child. If he can not be found then you will have to prove to the courts you tried everything under the sun to find him before they can move forward.

Question44 · Sep 14, 2009, 05:20 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Did you make it legal and have a judge sign off on removal of parental rights for your ex husband ? If you both agreed that he wasnt the father then you missed a few steps. What does it say in your divorce decree ? Did your ex relinuish his rights through order of the courts.

To answer your question your going to have to find the father of the child and establish paternity then have him approve of a name change for the child. If he can not be found then you will have to prove to the courts you tried everything under the sun to find him before they can move forward.

Yes, it actually stays in the divorce papers that he is not the father. Is there a certain amount of time that the biological fathers rights will be terminated? I mean, we haven't seen of heard from him in two and a half years.

stevetcg · Sep 14, 2009, 05:24 PM

Originally Posted by Question44

Yes, it actually stays in the divorce papers that he is not the father. Is there a certian amount of time that the biological fathers rights will be terminated? I mean, we haven't seen of heard from him in two and a half years.

There is not any amount of time where his rights will be terminated.

In order to get the name change, you need his consent. Since you cannot locate him, the court will have specific steps that you need to take in order to attempt to locate him (and establish paternity).

Its going to get complicated enough that you are going to want to hire a lawyer.

ScottGem · Sep 14, 2009, 05:25 PM

Originally Posted by Question44

Yes, it actually stays in the divorce papers that he is not the father. Is there a certian amount of time that the biological fathers rights will be terminated? I mean, we haven't seen of heard from him in two and a half years.

No. You should have left your ex husband as the legal father, then he could approve the name change. Now you MAY need to get the bio father's approval. You see a birth certificate is a legal document and changing it requires a court order.

I would consult an attorney. Because the father is not listed and because the divorce decree seems to have left your ex husband free of responsibility, there may be some outs here.

One other point here. You may be a single parent in terms of raising a child on your own. But EVERY child has two parents. And each of those parents have rights whether they choose to exercise them or not. At least until a court terminates those rights.

Question44 · Sep 14, 2009, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

No. You should have left your ex husband as the legal father, then he could approve the name change. Now you MAY need to get the bio father's approval. You see a birth certificate is a legal document and changing it requires a court order.

I would consult an attorney. Because the father is not listed and because the divorce decree seems to have left your ex husband free of responsibility, there may be some outs here.

One other point here. You may be a single parent in terms of raising a child on your own. But EVERY child has two parents. And each of those parents have rights whether they choose to exercise them or not. At least until a court terminates those rights.

You're absolutely right about each child having two parents. I just wish I hadn't made the mistake of choosing the wrong person to do it with. He lost any right to be around my son when he became abusive and brought drugs into the house. At least I have proof of those things. Thanks for the advice ScottGem. Do you know anything about the rights being terminated after a set period without any contact?

ScottGem · Sep 15, 2009, 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by Question44

Do you know anything about the rights being terminated after a set period of time without any contact?

If there is no contact why do you feel the need to terminate? You should file to get visitation removed so that if he does want to come back into the child's life, he will have to go to court to do so and, in that case, prove he has changed.

But, again, courts are very reluctant to issue a TPR.

Question44 · Sep 15, 2009, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

If there is no contact why do you feel the need to terminate? You should file to get visitation removed so that if he does want to come back into the child's life, he will have to go to court to do so and, in that case, prove he has changed.

But, again, courts are very reluctant to issue a TPR.

It's more about changing my sons last name than terminating the fathers rights. I have plenty to go to the courts to have him terminated if he should ever decide to try to take me to court. I would just like my son to have my last name so that he will not be confused growing up. It just seemed like the way to be able to do that without the biological father was to terminate his rights. I'll vist an attorney and see what they can do for me. Thanks for the advice!

charchar001 · May 24, 2010, 11:44 PM

I would like to change my son's name and his father will not sign the papers unless he gets to sign his rights away... is there anything I can do to have his name changed with out having him sign anything... I have my reason's of why I don't want him to have that name anymore is because of what he has been in jail for and his family history I don't want my son growing up and people saying he is going to be just like them...