[Kathryn Bouvier]

My niece and I are very close in age. My husband (who is the youngest) and his brothers range 20 years. My oldest brother-in-law is older than my mother. My nieces and nephews are all of my generation.

When I got married I thought I was marrying into a large family. My niece was one of my bridesmaids. She also is the godmother to my oldest son. I have included her (and she has attended) every baptism, birthday, Thanksgiving, special occasion, family get-together that I have ever had.

I recently had a baby and my niece was in attendance to my daughter’s baptism this past May and also my son's First Communion. We have always gotten along. She had a baby this past July and is having his baptism on September 20th.

We have not, as of yet, been formally invited to attend. What should I do? I am deeply hurt by this. My mother-in-law, who has been formally invited, told me when I asked her what I should do that I should not say or do anything, let it slide, and to not let it ruin my relationship with my niece and to continue to invite her to my functions. I am having Thanksgiving this year.

I am confused as to what I should do. I was so excited when my niece had her baby since our children will be attending the same schools and church. I thought that our shared motherhood would ultimately bring us closer together.

Other than my husband and children, I have no family of my own within 1000 miles. My only married sister lives in Africa and has said that she has no plans on having children. My other niece (of a different brother of my husbands and who lives 70 miles away) has included us in her 2 daughters’ baptisms and birthdays.

I so want to love my niece and her little boy. I feel that the omission of an invitation to the baptism precedes other omissions to not only the birthdays and special occasions of her son, but also setting a precedent for her 3 younger siblings no to include us in their children's lives.

I so want to handle this the right way, but have been swallowing a lot of hurt feelings. Am I wrong for wanting my family to be included in my new nephew's milestones? Am I wrong for feeling hurt? What should I do, if anything?

Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.

Sincerely,
Kathryn

[amicon]

Could it be that your invitation got lost in the post?these things do happen.how close have you been to your niece? I know your mother-in-law advised against it but could you not talk to your niece?hope this helps.

[talaniman]

What's your husbands take on things?

[zippit]

Whats your husbands take on things??

That was my first thought.

Are you sure its you,that is the reason for the omission there may be more to the story than you know.Even though they came to your events she may have a grudge with someone besides yourself you are just caught in the middle?