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blueeyeswonder · Sep 5, 2009, 05:27 PM

My Bf Has Cheated On Me And Im Not Sure If He Loves Me?
How Would I No If He Does?
He Says He Loves Me And That But I Don't know I Guess!!
Don't know If It Me Being Stupid :o
Help x

Ginny Finny · Sep 5, 2009, 05:54 PM

The bottom line is HE CHEATED ON YOU! If you really think that he loves you, then you two need to sit down and talk this through. Why did he cheat on you? Because he loves you? no. he might still, yeah. But you got to sort it out. And be careful in what you decide, because wats to say he won't do it again?

britEl · Sep 5, 2009, 06:13 PM

How long had you two been dating for? How old are you? Do you trust him again after him cheating on you? How long ago did he cheat on you? Did you love each other before this incident? Just because he says he 'loves' you doesn't mean he's going to mean it. Although we cannot give you a definite answer here, and we do need a little more information than what you are giving us, I'm going to have to say, I doubt he loves you if you haven't been dating long or if you are younger. If someone is in love with someone they don't usually cheat on the person they 'love'. Don't just let him off the hook because he says he loves you, he has to mean it, and you have to be less forgiving if something like this just happened and your willing to love him again.

zeeniee · Sep 5, 2009, 08:48 PM

Well this is what you need to realise

A person that cheats is:

Only thinking about themselves

Takes what is in front of them, and enjoy butter being spread on both sides of the bread

Does not think of the consequences his /her actions that will have on him/herself and to the people that are involved

Will find a excuse to justify his/her cheating,rather that actually admitting he/she was wrong in cheating

Has no boundaries or line within themselves = crossed that line and cheated

Has no respect for himself

Has no respect for you

Has no respect for what you both have as BF/GF

Will always look for a easy way out, instead of solving problems and finding a solution

For some ( not all), once cheated- they WILL do it again- except they will just become smarter at not getting caught...

He may love you etc- but what you need to ask is do you want to be in love a cheater? Do you want a cheater to love you??

blueeyeswonder · Sep 6, 2009, 06:50 AM

Hi we have been out for 10 months now, and I am 18.
He says he loves me all the time.

I do trust him sometimes, but not all the time, which is understandable, I think that about it.

s_cianci · Sep 6, 2009, 06:52 AM

If he loved you, he wouldn't have cheated on you ; it's as simple as that. You can do with that what you will, but that's the cold hard fact.

amicon · Sep 6, 2009, 06:57 AM

Actions prove love and he cheated on you-anyone can say I love you and its just three words which mean nothing unless they re accompanied by loving actions.

talaniman · Sep 6, 2009, 09:16 AM

His actions don't match his words, and you having trust issues is very understandable. I would too. This can never be a trusting relationship as long as he is a cheater.

friend4u178 · Sep 6, 2009, 10:45 PM

We see people on here all the time who have been cheated on and the majority of them it's an established relationship and there are all sorts of reasons that it can happen . Not that I condone cheating but sometimes there are reasons within those relationships which have built up over long periods which contributed to it.

But to cheat on your so called Loved one after only 10 months is totally unacceptable and a sign to me that there's every chance it's going to happen again.

That's my take on it and if it were me I'd dump his sorry A55 before he hurts you again.

mudweiser · Sep 12, 2009, 11:53 AM

1- How old are you?

2- He cheated on you-- he doesn't love you.

3- You should split up with him, he cheated on you.

Sarah

Justwantfair · Sep 12, 2009, 02:26 PM

It's hard enough if you love someone and they cheat on you...
You don't even know if you love this person and couldn't leave when he cheated on you?
Your relationship is built on a foundation of distrust because you are with someone who choose to be unfaithful to you.
Time to pack up, when you love someone you know and you don't have to question it.

Romefalls19 · Sep 12, 2009, 02:52 PM

Well my first red flag, if you're on a forum, asking if you love someone, then no you don't.

Also, cheating, if you have taken him back, then you cannot hold it against him still. As bad as it sounds, you forgave him by taking him back. This relationship sounds toxic, so why are you still in it?

blueeyeswonder · Sep 14, 2009, 05:28 AM

Threads merged and edited.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html

Hey I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months :)
I do love him but sometimes I don't feel it, don't know if it because we are together all the time:confused:
Is it normal too feel like this help:confused:
I do love him most the time though, but sometimes I don't:mad:
Help wb

desertstar36 · Sep 14, 2009, 01:23 PM

That is totally normal to feel it sometimes and not others. I have been with my husband for 15 years I know by now that I do love him, but there are certainly days that I can't stand him. The more time you spend together the more you might irritate each other, but it is all a part of love and life.

talaniman · Sep 14, 2009, 01:44 PM

He cheated, of course sometimes you don't feel it. Sometimes you don't like your partner, and they didn't cheat.

amicon · Sep 15, 2009, 03:36 AM

Why do you want to stay with someone who s cheated?by taking him back you re telling him cheating s OK.I think you should take time out and discover what you really want and need in life.

blueeyeswonder · Sep 15, 2009, 07:07 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/no-chat-speak-no-text-talk-303157.html
No I took him back because I love him and I ave told him if he ever cheats agen then we will be over!!

Thanks desertstar36 I'm glad I'm not the only 1 who feel the same :) thanks agen x

ZoeMarie · Sep 15, 2009, 09:30 AM

You're only 18. There's no reason you need to put up with this. Realize, while you're still young, that this stuff doesn't fly. You telling him that if he ever cheats again that it's over will only give him more reason to hide it if he does. That's just my opinion.

talaniman · Sep 15, 2009, 10:40 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/no-chat-speak-no-text-talk-303157.html

Read this link to avoid being deleted.

j_ely823 · Sep 15, 2009, 12:49 PM

Depending on the relative maturity of your relationship I say that if you intend on being with him for a long time, then sit down and have a talk with him. He violated the relationship and so now his commitment is in question. Tell him that. Ask him what he thinks he can to to otherwise prove that he is trustworthy. However, I do have to say if he didn't love you enough to not cheat on you, then what does he have to show for now? He can't consequently love you more after he cheated on you, but he can have newfound respect for you and the relationship. If you've onlly been together for a few months and you don't anticipate progressing to a new level or overcoming this, I say you should break up with him. Its probably what most of us should have done...