[talaniman]

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she

could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear

Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"



While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting

her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself

off,and started running again!. As she ran she once again began to pray,

"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me

either!"



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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he

calls it a poem, they give him $50. *



*The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a

piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."*



*The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on

a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to

collect all the money!"



~~~~~~~~~~~~



An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no

male pallbearers. In her handwritten **instructions for her memorial

service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't

want them to take me out when I'm dead."



~~~~~~~~~~~~



A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had

to arrest your own mother?" He answered "Call for backup."



~~~~~~~~~~~~



A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with

them to Jerusalem . A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby

sitter."



~~~~~~~~~~~~



A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five

and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father

and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to

treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy

answered, "Thou shall not kill."



~~~~~~~~~~~~



At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including

human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how

Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother

noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, "Johnny, what

is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think

I'm going to have a wife."



*~~~~~~~~~~~~

[bubbler_77]

Good jokes LoL