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aichah · Aug 11, 2009, 12:01 PM

Hi,
I was married to my husband for 18 years, and raised the kids on my own, We had 4 kids, he lived in the States, and I lived and worked in Canada with the kids.
He never supplied us with any support, but saved the money saying that he is saving for the family. 3 years ago, he emptied the bank accounts that were under both our names, and was asking for divorce. The kids stayed with me. Now he is asking for sole custody of the kids. My job requires me to travel and cannot be with the kids all the time. In case I give him sole custody, and asked him to waive his rights to support, does he still go after me for the support?

I am not sure why he is asking for full custody, the kids are living with me and if they go live with him, they will be visiting all the time, plus, he's been working under the table and saving his money for long time, he is not willing to spend on the kids. If he takes them, can he go after me for support, even if he signs a legal waiver for any future support for him and the kids?

Thank you

stevetcg · Aug 11, 2009, 12:04 PM

Yes, he absolutely has the right to request support and VERY likely if he is granted custody he will also get support ordered.

By the way, regardless of him waiving his right to request support to you, even in writing, that does not prevent him from doing so anyway.

You cannot sign away rights or obligations and have it recognized by the court.

N0help4u · Aug 11, 2009, 12:05 PM

Yes he can go after you in court for support.
If you make that agreement for him make sure you have a lawyer to make sure the agreement is legally solid.

You need to go after primary/joint custody and leave it up to the Judge. You don't have to let him bully you into thinking he is going for sole custody therefore he will get it. You have rights too and you have every right to go for custody.
Also sole custody I think you may not even get visitation rights or very limited visits.

stinawords · Aug 11, 2009, 08:38 PM

Obviously as ponted out he can ask the judge for a support order if he gets custody. Also, if he does get custody the kids won't be "visiting all the time" if you travel a lot especially if you are living great distances apart. Where did he file for divorce in the states or canada?

aichah · Aug 12, 2009, 06:28 AM

He I s saying he filed in the States, we were married in the States, but I doubt he did. He refuses to pay any support, he works under the table and doesn't even show ahy money. His only condition to support the kids is for me to give them to him, which I have refused all along. And now he is asking for sole custody, which I am refusing.
Thank you all for answering. I guess he is tricking me into signing on for sole custody so he can put his hands on my paycheck, and leave the kids for his sister to take care of them. She lives in the States too, and she is promising him to take care of his kids.

N0help4u · Aug 12, 2009, 06:44 AM

Yeah it does sound to me like he wants the kids so that he can collect support off you.

Do not sign anything. You are better to file for primary custody and have your day in court he is trying to trick you. With how he used the bank account 'for the kids' then drained it proves he is out for himself.