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    armymom33's Avatar
    armymom33 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 2, 2009, 02:08 PM
    Will exhusband get full custody of child because I served 2 tours in iraq
    My ExHusband is taking me to court for full custody of our 6yr old daughter because he says he can love her more than I can. I deployed before our daughter was 2 and returned after she was 3. deployed again and missed her 6th b-day and now I am in VA getting treatment for an injury that I sustained in Iraq and was medevacd out. Since I have Post Tramatic Stress Disorder can that be held against me in court? I need my daughter as much as she needs me. I will not be returning back downrange and he is eager to start the process. Could my time away be used against me as well? He is 39, lives at home with his parents, used to use drugs, physically assault me but its not on record. Can that be used against him in court? My daughter expresses her thoughts and does not want to live with her dad, she wants to be with me. What do I do?? I am so confused and worrieds that my time serving my country will be used against me, even though it's not supposed to. I really need some advice here... please help me
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #2

    Aug 2, 2009, 02:16 PM
    I don't think that you or he have anything legitimate that can be used against each other, try as you may. Your extended times away from home coupled with your PTSD may well keep you from getting full custody. But I think I see joint custody in your future ; also probably court-ordered counseling for your PTSD.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Aug 2, 2009, 02:28 PM

    I really don't see how your being deployed can be used against you to where you get no custody. You should get some sort of joint custody.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #4

    Aug 2, 2009, 03:58 PM

    Were you in the service before or after your divorce ? How bad are your injuries on an extended level ? Do you need time to gain coping skills so you can better provide for your daughter ?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Aug 2, 2009, 04:25 PM

    I can see were perhaps they would use your choice to be away from your child as a reason to ask for custody. I just can't understand why he would not have asked for it, years ago when she first left the child
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #6

    Aug 2, 2009, 04:34 PM

    What was her choice to stay away from her daughter? Because she was deployed? From what my son and daughters told me deployment is a part of some duties and being deployed they get paid more.
    chikid68's Avatar
    chikid68 Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Aug 3, 2009, 06:33 AM
    Your time away to serve cannot be used against you as neglect or abandonment and that sounds like what you are worried about.
    The only thing he might possibly have is the PTSD .
    The best thing for you to do regarding that would be to obtain voluntary counselling if you aren't already as well as family counseling for both you and your child to help them better understand this condition.
    If the judge was to see that even with the diagnosis you are getting help for both of you on your own that will go favorably for you.
    Also the judge will take into account the child's wished as well so that is another thing in your favor.
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