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helpless_soul · Jul 23, 2009, 02:52 PM

So I've Known this girl for about a year now, and we started properly dating about 3 weeks ago.. and every thing was fine and honkey-dorey until yesterday afternoon.

So I tet her around 1800 and she's fine talking away.. text her at 2000, no reply.. try again at 2200, no reply.. and again at 2300 to be met with "cause i dont want to talk about it"...

I was speaking to one of her friends via MSN last night who said that she "thinks your perfect, but is not sure about such a big commitment".

I was hanging with my GF for about an hour and a half today.. but she barely said hello, and made no eye or physical c

When I was leaving, I passed another of her friends (who was outside having a smoke), and she said that sometimes my girlfriend gets very retracted and just to "give her space"..

I asked my girlfriend if I did something. And she just blanked me

I just can't help but feel like I've done something wrong and she is ignoring me.. its really getting me down..

Any advice?

raychi · Jul 23, 2009, 03:16 PM

Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about it, maybe there's a logical reason behind all this. And, if she doesn't want to talk about it then give her space, sometimes having a relationship is scary. And trust me, girls get easily spooked by this kind of thing. So, try and talk it through. That's my best advice.

helpless_soul · Jul 23, 2009, 03:23 PM

I have my phone in my hand.. and all I can think about is texting her =/.. If I try to do anything else all I can think about is her... just wondering and waiting to see what's up with us two =/

I just don't see why she's so randomly retracted from me in the last 24 hours

redhed35 · Jul 23, 2009, 03:38 PM

Leave her alone for a day or so,constant texting will only make the situation worse.

Text or call in a day and ask how she is.
Do not have a heavy conversation,and do not come across as needy.

Ask if she wants to meet up,if she does not,just say OK.and wait for her to come to you.
It seems the more your chasing her,the harder she is running away.

Stop chasing,and she will stop running.

helpless_soul · Jul 23, 2009, 03:46 PM

That's probably sound adivce.. but hard none the less.. suspose I'll just have to be tough and hold back my urges to communicate with her.

We made plans eairler in the week to meet up on Monday.. think that's still a good idea?

redhed35 · Jul 23, 2009, 03:48 PM

Could I just ask what age you both are?

helpless_soul · Jul 23, 2009, 03:49 PM

I'm 19 and she's 18

Torrid13 · Jul 23, 2009, 03:54 PM

Definitely take Redhead's advice and stop texting her. It will only make the situation worse, and she'll basically shut down and not talk to you (which you don't want, because she's the only one that can you what's up!).

Overall, she sounds scared and unsure. Are you trying to move the relationship at too fast a pace now that you are "properly" dating? Seeing each other too often? Make sure you guys are always spending time separate with friends, or you could end up smothering each other.

In any case, give her some space, and hopefully she'll come around. I would call her in a couple of days and reaffirm the plans you made for Monday. Maybe she'll be ready to talk about it by then.

N0help4u · Jul 23, 2009, 04:53 PM

Yes you need to leave her alone and only bother with her when she wants to be bothered she gets in these moods. Your trying to talk is only going to make her feel pressured. Go out Monday if she still wants to. If you and her made the plans then it is probably something she wants to do.
Right now though you need to leave her be when she wants her space or you could end up chasing her away.

liz28 · Jul 23, 2009, 08:21 PM

You already been warned by her friends about her commitment phobia. It sounds like she is unsure about she wants or maybe she is carrying emotional baggage from a previous relationship. Only she knows!

One thing I know for sure is that you weren't giving her enough space by calling/texting back to back. That can make a person like you less and get on your nerve--well at least it gets on mines.

You really need to talk to her about what direction this relationship is taking and what she wants. Hopefully she will open up and if not then you have a decision to make. Relationships are suppose to be fun especially at your age.

talaniman · Jul 23, 2009, 08:46 PM

Maybe your better friends, than a couple.