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Yegor · Jul 21, 2009, 03:15 AM

Hi! My name is Yegor and I'm really confused about my girlfriend, She is from Ukraine same as me, so we have been together for 3 years, everything was great till she went to USA for studies for 1 year. During all this time we were chating sending to each other lovely sms saying I love you and really wainting for you, than after 6 mouth she stopped writing sucher lovly sms but I was keep writing, sometimes I asked her "Do U love me" she was answering "Yes i love u we had alot of staff going on and lot of been through" I know she had different life there I do understand her cause before we met I lived in UK for 3 years and it was really hard to come home. But when she arrived from USA she has changed I didn't see sucher happiness in her eyes to see me. We had a talk Iasked her Why are you acting to me like we not a couple any more? Did you had someone there? Or you need time for adaptation .Sorry for my bad English guys. So she answered that she doesn't want to date and she said she didn't had nobody there. She saying she is confused about her life and she want to be alone for now and she has a lot of promblems to solve with out my help. I really Love her I was waiting for her for 1 year and I haven't cheat on her. Girls please help me what should I do. And by the way she said thet for now I'm like a best friend to her at this moment but I can't be just a friend. Shall I give her some time to think or what? I'm really confused.
Thanks!!

maureeeen · Jul 21, 2009, 04:38 AM

Give her time trust me but it can work two ways all right so pay attention.. one way this could all go could be she isn't cheating on you but she has been thinking about trying to start new relationships with other men & if you gave her a break most likely she would follow through & try to date another man though that's only if she's interested in that but it could go this way she could maybe really just have no one on the side & really want a break? Its not to hard to believe people get sick of love all the time but its only when one partner becomes overly obsessive with it. It is fine to show affection but not up to the point where you exspect a text just to feel comftable about your relationship & the moment she doesn't text you think something's wrong. Maybe it could be that you & her are on different levels in the relationship give her time alone & sort yourself out too just because your in a relationship doesn't mean it should be your life you needed the harsh talk don't take it the wrong way take care x

I wish · Jul 21, 2009, 06:02 AM

She said she wanted time, so respect her wishes and give her time.

However, it sounds more like her feelings for you have changed. If she still like you and had personal problems, she would not have broken up with you.

It's time to accept reality. If she comes back to you one day, then great! But be prepared that she won't come back. You've waited 1 year for her already. I don't think waiting another year is going to make much of a difference. Start moving on with your life.

Yegor · Jul 21, 2009, 11:24 PM

She keeps text me, like how are you? Whatup to today? And stuff what should I do. I'm like a friend for her now that's what she said but I can't be her friend cause I really love her. Should I not reply on her sms or what I told her let not see each other and even text, cause ''u need to think about all and for me better not to see you cause I'm going crazy when you are next to me but I can't hug you, kiss you or hold your hand. I'm getting confused. I don't get it when she said ''i do love you, I do miss you but I need a time to solve all my problems by myself and I don't know when I will solve them and I have to thing about myself'' and there is one thing she said when I asked her is it a problem with me or what?? " She answered that there is a problems with her. What did she mean?? Or she smoothly, softly, politly dump me, so I won't get upset so much.

Torrid13 · Jul 21, 2009, 11:53 PM

Sorry man, but I think you have been placed in the "friends zone."

Give her space, as she asked, but don't get your hopes up. Within a year she changed. You're basically getting the "It's not you, it's ME" routine: the line when someone doesn't want to hurt your feelings AS MUCH when they stomp on your heart like a lonely potato chip on the sidewalk.

But don't worry; this gives you time to figure out more what you want in life, and more time to build a life separate from her if the relationship falls through. If she does decide to try again, then you can make a decision from there.

Good luck.

Yegor · Jul 22, 2009, 03:29 AM

What really makes me sad is all this confusion. Like why not to say STOP. Any way thanks for everyone to answer on my F***** question. :))))))))))))))))))))000

Torrid13 · Jul 22, 2009, 11:51 AM

Why not say "stop"? Because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. She's rather you take the hint from her actions.

talaniman · Jul 22, 2009, 12:31 PM

Dude, no disrespect at all but she may have had an eye opening experience being in America. As you yourself admitted "it was hard to come home". Forget taking her culture shock personally, that's insecure of you, instead of building on the shared experience of leaving home, and coming back. I don't think your paying attention to your options, and opportunities, at this time.

That's what emotional insecurity does to you though. Back off, I think she really does want to talk, but not about romance, kissing, or holding hands.

What do you think, she had a hard time coming home??