[DmanMan]

It seems these days she just pushes me away, wants a lot of space, always angry cause I say "stupid" things. Like I'll say something across the lines of like maybe "i dont know why you love me?" just to hear the reason why and she get so mad and ask me to leave or she'll talk to my later? The other night she completely lost it on me cause I wouldn't ask for things and I told her I was scared and she like about broke up with me which is completely irrational since she pregnant and I know she's just moody. She went on about how I need to ask her for more things and give her more space and not be so affectionate.? I'm so confused as much as I love this girl which I never loved a girl before I'm confused I'm a affection hungry guy especially from things in my past. And she just fails at giving it and I can never tell when she wants space. Im so lost and confused will someone help me maybe cause this is my first long term relationship and cause she pregnant! Please help thanks needs some guidelines! She loves me but she just likes me to be such a heartless guy and for some reason not telling her I love her or watching TV instead of telling her she's beautiful she enjoys more I don't know. Help thanks

[N0help4u]

What does she mean by you need to ask her for more things? What things?
Sounds like she is a bit controlling on how she wants you to act but it also sounds like you might be a bit too clingy too.
You may also need to learn to rephrase things or not say them at all if they are going to have her going off on you. I don't know why you love me she can take as you being insecure

[ylaira]

How many months she's been pregnant? If she's currently on her first trimester, she's MAYBE yet on her adjustment period. There are a lot of hormonal changes on her body causing her to be short tempered, moody and iiritable so give her a break.

Once you feel she's starting to act like one, just stop and move away. Don't take it personally. It's the HORMONE!

[talaniman]

How old are you and how pregnant is she??

[bearsowner]

OK I know all of us are different, but I was her at that time in life. First of all I had serious men issues and nice looked pretty sissy and needy. Asking stuff you already know I saw as dumb and dull and my hormonal anger issues had me discontented and depressed in pregnancy and I just had zero tolerance or patience. I blammed him for everything I physically went through and I treated him like crap. Unfortunately, hormonal depression is blinding and I stayed in a state of sarcasm and short tempered. I had a mental list of what I thought a guy should be and I picked one and started trying to change them into a potential person I thought they were capable of.

[kp2171]

Every person is "wired" uniquely. I might be the sexual aggressor in my relatioship with my wife, but I am also the one who craves a simple kiss, caress, and sensual (not just sexual) touch. I could go days without an orgasm if I had five minutes of deep, passionate kissing.

So... several things here. First, you need to accept to some degree that your partner might not be on the same page. My wife has an overall lower libido and can go longer without intimate touch than me. Its how I am and how she is.

How has our relationship lasted a decade? Middle ground. I have to accept that when she isn't as attentive that it isn't to punish me. Its just how she is. And I also have to accept that sometimes I need to pull her to me and tell her "kiss me deeply for a minute"... having hashed through this by open discussion, she knows I'm not trying to make her feel guilty and I know she's not trying to neglect me.

So... saying "i dont know why you love me" can be interpreted many ways. Foremost, in my mind, it's a little needy and insecure. That isn't a personal attack on you, even if it feels like one. I have no vendetta against you, no history, no agenda.

But really... at a time when her hormones are like roller coaster... at a time when she is likely trying to figure out how to care for this child who is on the way... you are needing soft gloves to help you sleep at night? Good luck with that. What she most likely needs right now is a man who is in charge, in control, and active.

Its OK to be unsure and to desire her attention. But its also time for you to step it up. Find more in yourself than you knew you had.

She might be distracted... but distracted and neglectful are not the same thing.

My wife was not herself during her pregnancy. I held nothing she did or said against her and she held nothing I did or said against me.

So you need to center yourself a bit. With her or without her, you are to be the father of a wonderful child. Its amazing and maddening and hard and wonderful all at once. Be joyful. Please.

And understand your love might not be lock in step with you, but that doesn't mean she isn't with you.