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shanna1234 · Jul 15, 2009, 02:53 PM

Hello I am helping my brother John search for his parents and I don't know where
To begin. Where do I start when there is no last name?

JudyKayTee · Jul 15, 2009, 02:55 PM

How old is he and what year was he adopted?

Brnx Mama · Jul 15, 2009, 02:58 PM

1.Just like a genealogy search, an adoption search should always begin with yourself. Write down everything you know about your birth and adoption, from the name of the hospital in which you were born to the agency which handled your adoption.

2.The best place to turn next, is your adoptive parents. They are the ones most likely to hold possible clues. Write down every bit of information they can provide, no matter how insignificant it may seem. If you feel comfortable, then you can also approach relatives and family friends with your questions.
3.Gather together all available documents. Ask your adoptive parents or contact the appropriate government official for documents such as an amended birth certificate, petition for adoption, and the final decree of adoption.
Ihope this will help you in some sort of way, if I find out more I will post it. Good Luck!

Synnen · Jul 15, 2009, 03:00 PM

I second Judy's question---how old is he, and how long ago was his adoption?

That information is crucial if we are to help.

JudyKayTee · Jul 15, 2009, 03:01 PM

Originally Posted by Brnx Mama

1.Just like a genealogy search, an adoption search should always begin with yourself. Write down everything you know about your birth and adoption, from the name of the hospital in which you were born to the agency which handled your adoption.

2.The best place to turn next, is your adoptive parents. They are the ones most likely to hold possible clues. Write down every bit of information they can provide, no matter how insignificant it may seem. If you feel comfortable, then you can also approach relatives and family friends with your questions.
3.Gather together all available documents. Ask your adoptive parents or contact the appropriate government official for documents such as an amended birth certificate, petition for adoption, and the final decree of adoption.
Ihope this will help you in some sort of way, if I find out more I will post it. Good Luck!

She's searching for her BROTHER'S parents - I don't see that her info helps in this search.

As my friend said (clearly and more than once): https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adopti...ml#post1824594

Brnx Mama · Jul 15, 2009, 03:01 PM

Register in State and National Reunion Registries, also known as Mutual Consent Registries, which are maintained by government or private individuals. These registries work by allowing each member of the adoption triad to register, hoping to be matched with someone else who might be searching for them. One of the best is the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR).

Got this from the WEB.

JudyKayTee · Jul 15, 2009, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by Brnx Mama

Register in State and National Reunion Registries, also known as Mutual Consent Registries, which are maintained by government or private individuals. These registries work by allowing each member of the adoption triad to register, hoping to be matched with someone else who might be searching for them. One of the best is the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR).

Got this from the WEB.

Did you read what I posted?

Synnen · Jul 15, 2009, 03:04 PM

There are tons of websites that HE (the OP's brother) can register at.

The POINT of asking the age of the adoptee is that adoption records and how much information you can get can sometimes vary by how long ago the adoption was.

The OTHER side of this is that if the OP's brother is a minor, we cannot help him.

Brnx Mama · Jul 15, 2009, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

She's searching for her BROTHER'S parents - I don't see that her info helps in this search.

As my friend said (clearly and more than once): https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adopti...ml#post1824594

I clearly hear what you are saying, but if she has to start some where it doesn't hurt to help yourself. Your friend does not have to use any information given if she chooses not too, sweetie these are just suggestions; I posted this info becuause my friend is also searching for hers. It can't harm you its just words. You either use them or you don't! Again Good Luck in what ever you choose love! Oh! I for got to mention it sounds as though you are a good friend, and if this is true then you should be positive about your friends choice to help her brother, and think about him too No harm! No foul...

Good evening to you all AMHD Family!

Chey5782 · Jul 15, 2009, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by Brnx Mama

I clearly hear what you are saying, but if she has to start some where it doesn't hurt to help yourself. Your friend does not have to use any information given if she chooses not too, sweetie these are just suggestions; I posted this info becuause my friend is also searching for hers. It can't harm you its just words. You either use them or you don't! Agian Good Luck in what ever you choose love! Oh! I for got to mention it sounds as though you are a good friend, and if this is true then you should be positive about your friends choice to help her brother, and think about him too No harm! No foul.....

Good evening to you all AMHD Family!

Actually, well for one, it was their brother, not their friend. For two, words have the power to be very harmful. Especially in a situation where the person is seeking help in a matter that is regarded as intensely personal... For three, you could probably use a little reasoning that those two know what they are talking about if they have posted thousands, yes thousands, of replies on here. I'm not saying you aren't entitled to help, or your opinion, but you should certainly read a little more closely before responding. I kind of did that myself the other day not paying close enough attn.:confused:

shanna1234 · Jul 16, 2009, 10:09 AM

My brother was adopted in 1959 and he will be 50yrs old. :eek:

JudyKayTee · Jul 16, 2009, 10:16 AM

Then I would follow Synnen's suggestions and post on websites which attempt to put people in contact with each other.

Synnen · Jul 16, 2009, 10:59 AM

Are your parents still alive? They may have more information that you realize--like the county he was adopted in, and the adoption agency used.

A lot of the things that need to be done for a reunion need to be done by the adoptee or the biological parents. You can help, but he will need to do much of it himself.

Records from 1959 are CLOSED. You cannot get them opened without a court order--which you are not likely to get unless there is a medical emergency.

1. He can leave a letter with the courthouse in the county where he was born/adopted--both, if those are two places and he knows where both are. The letter should be left with contact information for a birthparent in case they are also looking

2. Do the same thing with the adoption agency.

3. Register on reunion websites. ISSR, adoption.org and adoption.com are three really great ones.

Unfortunately, this may or may not have results. Good luck with your search.

Brnx Mama · Jul 16, 2009, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by Chey5782

Actually, well for one, it was their brother, not their friend. For two, words have the power to be very harmful. Especially in a situation where the person is seeking help in a matter that is regarded as intensely personal... For three, you could probably use a little reasoning that those two know what they are talking about if they have posted thousands, yes thousands, of replies on here. I'm not saying you aren't entitled to help, or your opinion, but you should certainly read a little more closely before responding. I kind of did that myself the other day not paying close enough attn.:confused:

If you read what you were saying then you would have read the part when I did admit to being a new member, but none the less it seems as though you yourself are not paying attention to the situation at hand. Never did I say that anyone at all was giving information or suggestions to the contrary. I would have appreciated anyone imput that is what this site is for, if you chose not to use it that is up to you. Further more this is not about you or me, both of us should just be addressing the situation at hand. I merely stated that she could have contacted them because this is what my friend did. In fact her doing so led her to connect with others who were in a similar situation and gave her sound advise. I also thought that the legal matter would be best, expensive probably ( each state has its own I'm sure) but helpful just the same. I don't take things personal percise or not Love, but I do wish you all the very best. :)

Brnx Mama · Jul 16, 2009, 11:19 AM

Oh! One more thing when I said friend I tought she was your friend, that's why I stated friend. Her statement does explain that she was trying to help her brother! Have a great day...

Chey5782 · Jul 16, 2009, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by Brnx Mama

If you read what you were saying then you would have read the part when I did admit to being a new member, but none the less it seems as though you yourself are not paying attention to the situation at hand. Never did I say that anyone at all was giving information or suggestions to the contrary. I would have appreciated anyone imput that is what this site is for, if you chose not to use it that is up to you. Further more this is not about you or me, both of us should just be addressing the situation at hand. I merely stated that she could have contacted them because this is what my friend did. In fact her doing so led her to connect with others who were in a similar situation and gave her sound advise. I also thought that the legal matter would be best, expensive probably ( each state has its own I'm sure) but helpful just the same. I don't take things personal percise or not Love, but I do wish you all the very best. :)

I have no beef with you, other than you not following the rules when you need to. I'm new too and I do pretty okay, but I'm not perfect either. I am not going to debate you, but I will disagree and stand up for myself. Go back and read your own posts on each thread. I would personally appreciate you not contradicting yourself toward me. Eventually your colors are going to stand out against this stark white background. And I have no issue reporting every single time you do this in the future. Mind you, not to start an issue, but hopefully to end one before your ill given advice hurts someone.

Synnen · Jul 16, 2009, 11:31 AM

Enough from both of you.

Stick to answering the OP's question, or your posts will be deleted.

shanna1234 · Jul 16, 2009, 01:05 PM

How do I find a biological parent if there is no last name available. Unfortunately I only have the name of the adoption agency. Someone told me the year I'm looking for is a closed book. Do I need to hire an attorney?

Synnen · Jul 16, 2009, 01:13 PM

I've combined your threads. Please keep it all to one thread, so that people can see what advice you've been given, and ALL of the information you've given.

Unless it is a medical emergency, an attorney is going to do you no good. Adoption records for closed adoptions are SEALED, and cannot be unsealed except by a judge--who usually will not do so unless there is a valid medical reason to.

Your brother can contact the adoption agency with HIS information, and they should be able to help him leave it in the file in case the biological parent is also looking.

You haven't mentioned WHY he is looking, which can make a huge difference.

Also--please realize that not all birthparents WANT to be found. In 1959, having a child out of wedlock was considered shameful, and his birthmother may not have told anyone that she ever gave birth, much less chose adoption. She may have a new family that her history could affect, and there have been SEVERAL stories of divorce happennig because of an adoption secret being forced open.