[niseypoo1972]

My nephew (14) and his half sister (3) are being primarily raised by my parents. The half-sister is not my parents biological grandchild.

My nephew's mother passed away 10 years ago, and his father (my ex-brother-in-law) has legal custody.
My nephew's father has a three year old daughter from his current relationship. The woman he lives with now has two children that are in the primary custody of their fathers. One child she has visitation rights, the other she has lost visitation rights due to drug issues. She does not work.

My nephew has spent most of his life with my parents, because he stays with them after school. His sister is in daycare during the day. Most days, my parents pick her up from daycare and keep her for weeks at a time without hearing from the mother. The father does pay the daycare bill, but only after being harassed by the operator about late payments. The parents are supposed to bring lunches and snacks for their child, which they do not. My parents usually provide the child with food when the daycare worker complains enough. The daycare is a home based daycare and will be closing at the start of the new school year. The sister was kicked out of her previous daycare because of non-payment.

The father is slightly more involved than the mother. He comes to check on the kids about every 10 days on average. Other than daycare, my parents provided all other necessities for the children such as food and clothing.

On the rare occasion that one of the parents takes the children home, they are usually brought back the next day. Sometimes the mother comes and picks up the little girl. Often when she does this she will keep her for a few hours then either bring her back to my parents or take her to my brother and his wife to keep.

My parents have no problem keeping my nephew. He has spent most of his life with them. But the little girl is not their grandchild. They love her, but she is not theirs. My parents are retirees on a fixed income. When the daycare closes, they will not be able to pay her daycare bill. The mother will not keep her. The father has a problem with paying on time which has resulted in being kicked out of one daycare already.

What can be done in this situation?

[Jake2008]

I think both children have been very lucky to have their grandparents, and you, in their lives.

With the parents not providing the basic necessities for either of them, and if I were in your grandparents shoes, I would contact the CPS for advice.

The parents have to be held accountable one way or the other. This is their responsibility, not family members that have been good enough to take charge.

As hard as this will be for the grandparents, the reality is what it is. They are retired, elderly, and on a fixed income. They are not obligated in any way, shape or form, to keep enabling these children's parents to dump their responsibilities on them, with no end in sight.

I would say that sooner rather than later is a good idea, before the daycare becomes an issue again. Talking to a CPS social worker does not mean any immediate, drastic changes, but rather a sharing of information on how to proceed for the safety and care of these children. Options.

It would be my guess that when they learn of the circumstances, they will agree that there has to be changes made that are in the best interests of the children. The bottom line is your parents can no longer care for them, and other solutions have to be realized.