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fullofhope · Jul 13, 2009, 08:33 AM

Hi,

My boyfriend and I have just purchased our first home together and would like to draw up an agreement stating that under no circumstances can any family members move in with us. We are happy for them to stay on a short vacation (max 1 week) with us if they move far away from our area, but do not want any of them trying to move in. We do not know how to word it and need help.

We mainly want this agreement in place due to my boyfriends possesive mother, who we are sure will at somepoint in the future try to emotionally blackmail us in to allowing her to move in as she will be on her own. Neither of us want this as we both want to be able to live our own lives and start maybe thinking about marriage and starting a family of our own.

If anyone can help advise on how we should word our agreement, that would be a really big help.

Thanks

AK lawyer · Jul 13, 2009, 09:35 AM

Who would such an agreement be with. An agreement between you and your boyfriend? What would that accomplish? She could still pressure the both of you to waive the terms of the agreement and if you both do so, you are back to square one.

excon · Jul 13, 2009, 09:52 AM

Hello full:

Seems to me, that if you can tell his mother that you're not going to let her move in, TODAY, even before she asks, you'll be able to tell her when she actually DOES ask, if she ever does.

It also seems to me that you're setting yourself up for a not so wonderful relationship with your mother-in-law.

Besides, as the lawyer already said, who is the agreement going to be WITH? The mother-in-law? If it is, and you want it to be legal, you're going to have to give her some form of consideration for her signature. Consideration is MONEY. Are you going to sign an agreement with EVERY family member that might contemplate moving in with you? Are you going to give each of them some "considertation"?

If this is just aimed at your mother-in-law, send her a letter saying exactly what you said here. Send her a check too, and say that cashing the check indicates full and complete agreement with the terms of the letter. Be specific and clear in your terms, and send your letter certified, return receipt requested.

excon