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jessytweetymama · Jul 12, 2009, 06:06 PM

How long does the biological father need to be out of the picture before you ca file abandonment in the state of South Dakota? My son's dad hasn't been around in 7 months this time, before that it was a year and before that was 9 months. He never sends birthday or christmas cards/presents. He doesn't know the man as his dad... he just thinks he is somebody that comes around once in a while or when it is convenient for him. He calls my now husband dad. My husband has been around more and is always there for him.

ScottGem · Jul 12, 2009, 06:13 PM

First please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read Frist sticky in the Children forum (where this was originally posted) that directs all questions of a legal nature to this forum. Had you checked out this forum instead of ignoring the instructions, you would have found another sticky that deals with the issue of abandonment.

The fact is that there is no such thing as filing abandonment in almost all states. Child abandonment is a criminal charge that occurs when a child is left without any adult supervision. Which is clearly not the case here.

Abandonment may be used as grounds for something else. You need to define what you really want here. If you could file for abandonment then what?

stinawords · Jul 12, 2009, 06:14 PM

What do you hope to gain by filing abandonment? I ask that even though you can't file abandonment because that is a criminal charge for someone that leaves a child uncared for at at bus stop or mall. Please read around some of the many, many, many, other threads including the STICKY at the top of the forum and you will learn a great deal.

jessytweetymama · Jul 12, 2009, 06:40 PM

It is not a criminal act... I have a friend who just went through it with her daughters dad who hadn't been around in 5 years. It simply means that he left the child and has no contact with said child. In that case the father wanted visitation rights but the judge ruled it abandonment because he had been gone for so long and the child didn't know who the guy was... the man is STILL responsible for child support and medical insurance but has NO legal rights to the child. I am just curious in case the same situation occurs. My son does NOT know who the guy is... he is just SOME guy who comes around occasionally and my son does NOT like him. He gets scared when he does come around. I am asking about South Dakota not about Indiana! If my child doesn't like a person I am NOT going to force him to spend time with or even be around that person unless I have to.

ScottGem · Jul 12, 2009, 06:55 PM

You clearly don't understand the law, which is one of the reasons you are asking the question. Your example illustrates my point. Your firend did not "file for abandoment". Rather the father of her child filed for visitation. The judge denied his request for custody and visitation using the lack of contact to justify it. The judge may have even specifically used abandonment as GROUNDS for denying the father's motion. That is very different from "filing for abandonment".

Is there currently a support/custody/visitation order in place? If your son's father wants to exercise his parental rights, you can fight it on the grounds that he has not been a regular part of your son's life. You may win, you may not. There is no predicting what a judge will do. Courts are very reluctant to terminate parental rights.

Probably your best bet is to have your husband try to adopt the child.

JudyKayTee · Jul 12, 2009, 06:56 PM

Originally Posted by jessytweetymama

It is not a criminal act...I have a friend who just went through it with her daughters dad who hadnt been around in 5 years. It simply means that he left the child and has no contact with said child. In that case the father wanted visitation rights but the judge ruled it abandonment because he had been gone for so long and the child didnt know who the guy was...the man is STILL responsible for child support and medical insurance but has NO legal rights to the child. I am just curious in case the same situation occurs. My son does NOT know who the guy is...he is just SOME guy who comes around occassionally and my son does NOT like him. He gets scared when he does come around. I am asking about South Dakota not about Indiana! If my child doesn't like a person I am NOT going to force him to spend time with or even be around that person unless I have to.

Out of curiosity - what State is your friend living in? This question is posted all the time and with very few exceptions it is almost impossible to declare a child abandoned.

I understand if your friend's child's father didn't get visitation or custody. I don't understand the abandonment part.

I do not personally see any procedure or time frame for getting a declaration of abandonment in South Dakota.

So file for abandonment and see what the Court says, whether the Court forces you to allow your child to spend time with his father.

Was the father scary and dangerous when you were with him?

Fr_Chuck · Jul 12, 2009, 07:14 PM

Ok, what do you want to change, do you want the new husband to be able to adopt.

Do you want to change visit rules or reduce any rights of the father.

What about child support, is that paid, and has it been turned over to child support enforcement

stinawords · Jul 12, 2009, 07:14 PM

If you don't agree with our answers then by all means go first thing in the morning to file abandonment charges on the father. Then let us know how well it worked out for you and how you went about filling abandonment charges and what happened to the father so that we won't be wrong again.