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Andy25 · Jul 8, 2009, 07:44 PM

Right I'm new to this site so really do need some help, Im a 25 year old gay guy I no for sure I'm gay I don't fancy Ladys at all and I only ever think about men , Ive slept with a number of men but my main thing is which I guess every gay guy comes across is fancying my best mate,
My mate I have told him I am gay and he is cool with that he says he is not I've also explained that I fancy him loads and he said that he can't do anything because he is st8 now this is where it gets complicated we both live and work together abroad we share a room and are very close, on 5 occasstions now we have slept with each other full on but we are bother very drunk I tell him the next day when he wakes up with no colths on and he says he can't remember and it gutts me I want this so bad but I have read on some sites that's it is posible to get drunk and sleep with fok and not really remember anything, he doest seem that bothered when I tell him what we have done so where do I stand is he st8 and was way to drunk to no or is he gay and don't really want to com eout to the fact this has happened on 5 times 3 of which where fulll sex and twice wasother stuff

Your opinions cause its blowing my mind

Thanks

N0help4u · Jul 8, 2009, 08:09 PM

Any more I hear so many straight guys claiming they aren't gay so they can have sex with a guy to explore and experiment BUT swear they are not gay. I think the guy is just justifying that it happened when he was drunk, he doesn't remember it ever happening and so is in denial.
Maybe subconsciencely he wants it to happen but he won't ever let it happen when he has to admit to it. I would question him on why does he allow it to happen if he swears he is not gay.

Andy25 · Jul 8, 2009, 08:39 PM

I do question him and he just says he can't remember it but is it possible to be that drunk not to remember having sex with someone once mayber but 5 times

N0help4u · Jul 8, 2009, 08:48 PM

It is possible to be that drunk that you don't remember but he should be able to remember enough that he knows something did happen.
Sort of like a dream that you remember a piece of but can't really remember it.

By questioning him I mean ask him questions like why doesn't he seem more concerned that you are having sex with him when he is drunk. Why is he allowing it to happen that he is drinking and going to bed with you rather than doing or saying something to stop it.
I mean if he didn't want it to happen after 5 times and you told him it did then he would freak out on you for taking advantage of him when he was drunk I would think.
I know me being straight and a guy did that to me when I was drunk by the second or third time I would have to admit that I must want it or I wouldn't put myself in that position.

Andy25 · Jul 8, 2009, 08:55 PM

You are thinking exacly what I did he didn't not seem bothered I even said you must remember something even at the end of it but he says he doesn't and that's it don't get me wrong he is a really shy guy and don't talk about sex and stuff that much but I no he nos what happened. I think I really do need to sit down and talk cause you would not believe how much its messing my head up

N0help4u · Jul 8, 2009, 08:58 PM

You need to stop doing this with him when he is drunk. It is taking advantage whether he wants it or not.
Have him sleep on the sofa or the floor but don't be doing this.

Andy25 · Jul 8, 2009, 09:02 PM

No I have really its not happened now for few months when we get drunk I make a point of watching tele then going to bed after its just I like him and since it happened ages ago I want it proper but I no that doing it when drunk etc is bad

N0help4u · Jul 8, 2009, 09:06 PM

Good cause it is taking advantage.
The only way someone should take advantage like that is in a good relationship where it is mutual acceptance that it is okay to.

Alty · Jul 8, 2009, 11:02 PM

My question. Why not try having sex with him when he's sober? See what happens.

Most people, if they have a conscience, do not take advantage of someone when they are intoxicated.

Does he fancy you? I don't know. I do a lot of stupid things when I'm drunk, maybe that's the case here.

Either way, he's said he's not interested. So gay or straight, it doesn't make a difference.

Good luck.

artlady · Jul 8, 2009, 11:21 PM

I have been pretty ripped in the past but not so ripped that I would not know who I was having sex with.

If he is getting drunk to the point where he is blacking out,he has a serious problem.

As his friend ,you may want to have a discussion with him about that.It is a serious reg flag!

It sounds like he is either too inhibited to have sex while sober or he is confused about his sexuality or he is afraid to come out of the closet.

It is time for a chat with your friend.You can start the conversation by telling him you are concerned about his apparent blackouts.

As the others have stated,be a man and do not take advantage of someone when they are clearly vulnerable.Friends don't do that to friends.

smoothy · Jul 9, 2009, 05:17 AM

Sounds to me like you all need to get some treatment for alcoholism if you are into getting that plastered. Particularly repeatedly.

There is a HUGE difference between having a few beers, and getting sh*tfaced drunk. Anyone that feels a need to do the latter has a real problem if they wish to admit it or not.

Kagan88 · Jul 9, 2009, 10:44 AM

How is one too drunk to remember anything at all? I don't mean it in a mean or rude way... I guess because I don't drink I wouldn't really know but. Aren't you becoming just as intoxicated and you remember doing it. I think your friend just doesn't want to admit it.

smoothy · Jul 9, 2009, 11:02 AM

Originally Posted by Kagan88

How is one too drunk to remember anything at all? I don't mean it in a mean or rude way...I guess because I don't drink I wouldn't really know but. Aren't you becoming just as intoxicated and you remember doing it. I think your friend just doesn't want to admit it.

Oh, it is possible... and its right before you pass out... or die from alcohol poisoning. People who do this lack common sense and think that is fun, practice poor judgement, lack common sense and restraint in other aspects of their life as well.

They believe they are invincible and are hurting no one but themselves... fact is this behaviour costs everyone... not only in monitary terms, but the many thousands of lives cut short by idiots driving drunk, and while not all might, far too many do.

I enjoy the occaisional drink, I'm no abolishionist... and have had too many friends killed by drunks over the years.