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MissIndependant · Jun 30, 2009, 03:47 PM

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. When I met him I was a bartender in a club making good money, paying my own bills, and taking care of my three children, I even had extra money to spend. After me and him got together I stopped working in the club because he told me I could do better, and I listened! It was very hard trying to find another job, so I decided to go to school. He said that he would pay my bills for me, I didn't ask him. So since that time I've graduated and have another job. When we get into arguments he likes to say that I'am with him for his money, but I never really ask him for anything unless I really need to, or if I'am a li'l short that month. Why would he keep saying that if I don't ask him for money and he doesn't volunteer to give it either? He says anything I want I can have but if I ask for something later on he throws it up in my face.

What should I do? Puzzled!!

talaniman · Jun 30, 2009, 04:22 PM

You two need to talk. There is some misunderstanding somewhere. Usually the one who pays the bill is the one who feels the pressure when finances are a bit tight, for whatever reason.

Just ask him why he says, what he says.

liz28 · Jun 30, 2009, 04:27 PM

I think you should stop asking and taking his money if he is just going throw it your face.

MissIndependant · Jun 30, 2009, 04:59 PM

Threads merged for the full story

What should I do if my boyfriend doesn't spend the night with me for a whole week, doesn't call or text me. He is going through a divorce, and him and his wife have a house together, and he's out there! He says because her family and his family is there and he doesn't want people to think that they can do whatever they want to in his house, he claims he sleeps on the couch, but he also has a key to my house and he could be sleeping comfortably with me! This isn't the first time this has happened. I tried to talk to him about it but he just gets mad and starts an argument, saying that I'am not there for him in his time of need, HIS DIVORCE!! I changed my locks to my house, do you think thar was good enough or should I just move on? Need opinions from perfect strangers instead of family and friends!

liz28 · Jun 30, 2009, 06:18 PM

It sounds like an excuse but this is what you get for going with a guy who isn't divorce.

In your other thread you stated you were with him for 5 years so I must ask you "have he been going through a divorce for 5 years?" Maybe this is why he complaints about giving you money.

JoeCanada76 · Jun 30, 2009, 06:42 PM

Your posts and threads. The stories do not add up.

Please tell the whole truth. What is the real deal here.

chuff · Jun 30, 2009, 07:23 PM

It sounds like he's insecure about something and is almost asking you if that is why you stay with him. Maybe you can confirm to him that you have other interests in him beside money.

liz28 · Jun 30, 2009, 07:27 PM

He acts the way he does because he is still married and have a family to take care.

chuff · Jun 30, 2009, 07:27 PM

"My boyfriend" and "he's going through a divorce" to the rest of the world including him, means your just the other woman.

s_cianci · Jun 30, 2009, 07:29 PM

He's going through a lot right now and is carrying a lot of baggage. Regardless of what he may have told you previously, he isn't ready to give himself over to a new relationship yet and rightly so. Time for you to move on.

talaniman · Jun 30, 2009, 07:36 PM

There's your answer, he is going through a divorce.

liz28 · Jun 30, 2009, 07:37 PM

Newsflash--his wife and kids will aways come first. He is feeding you a bunch of lies like all married guys do who cheat. There must be come sort of handbook they all read from because they all say the same thing. Time to wise up!

chuff · Jun 30, 2009, 07:47 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

There must be come sort of handbook they all read from because they all say the same thing.

Is that available on Amazon?

chuff · Jun 30, 2009, 07:57 PM

After further information was received, I, ladies and gentlemen, I will do a AMHD.com first. I will Chuff... myself.

Originally Posted by chuff
It sounds like he's insecure about something

Yes Chuff, he's insecure about being caught because he's cheating on his wife.

Originally Posted by chuff

and is almost asking you if that is why you stay with him.

He really has to be wondering why would a woman fall for this for 5 years. Good point Chuff.

Originally Posted by chuff

Maybe you can confirm to him that you have other interests in him beside money.

Or maybe he could confirm he has other interests then cheating on his wife who has never heard they are going through a divorce. But he's certainly not after her for money, just the guilt trip and free sex he can get from her.

Good Chuffing, Chuff.

MissIndependant · Jul 1, 2009, 03:07 PM

They were separated when I met him for seven or eight years, she was living in another state she just recently moved back, and this is when she sent the divorce papers. He would say I want him for his money before that situation, They started going to court a couple months ago for the divorce!

jmjoseph · Jul 1, 2009, 04:40 PM

I think you should get your job back at the bar, for now, where you said you were making good money. Find a man who's NOT married. But most importantly, have better self respect as to not get put in the position of a mistress. He's taking advantage of you. I hope your children are doing great. Good luck. Next time, if you really want opinions from "perfect strangers", be honest to those strangers. Now said strangers feel betrayed, in a sense.

talaniman · Jul 1, 2009, 04:46 PM

Stress will make any one say all kinds of weird things, and do all kinds of weird stuff.

Maybe he has to pay back child support, that would blow his mind. The point is his words may come from any number of places that only he knows about, and the only way to find out for sure is to ask him directly.