[bleimberger]

:( I was with this guy for a year, and we had our ups and downs, but we had a pretty good relationship. We both are pretty jealous which caused most of our arguments, but we were working on that. Well make a long story short, we had plans to go out for our one year, and he had told me that he was going to spend the day with me. Well he ends up going hunting that morning which was fine with me, but then he ends up going hunting again at about 3:30 and he said that he would be back around 6:30. I wasn't very happy about that because I knew that I was going to be waiting all night for him to get to my house, but I gave in and said that's fine as long as he was home by 6:30 no later. Well it didn't end up like that he ends up getting home at 8:30, so I was furious about that, because who wants to go out now when the night pretty much already over. Well we end up not even going out at all and he shows up at my house about 9:30 and he wasn't very friendly at all, which upset me even more. Well we argued a little bit, and then he got up to leave and said that he didn't feel bad at all for me, because he thought in his mind that it wasn't a big deal. So I got angry and told him to leave, and I had a few choice words. Well the next day he decided not to answer his phone or call me all day, and it upset me, well finally I got a hold of him that night and he was as rude as can be. Well I ended up saying some really mean things to him that I did not mean at all, I thought by saying them he would actually want me back, and it didn't work that way at all, now since I chose to say those things to him he doesn't know if he ever wants to get back with me. I really hurt his feelings, and I have tried hard to let him know that I am very sorry. He tell me that he loves me and wants to be with me, but he doesn't know if its going to happen between us, because he doesn't trust me, and because I really hurt him. He tells me to just move on because he doesn't want me to wait around when he doesn't know for certain that he is ever going to get back with me. I don't know what to do because I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him, he tells me to give him time, but it's so hard, what should I do? And do you think that he will take me back?

[dancingtwins]

He has asked for time give it too him. Stop being cingy and insecure. Go do your own things. I am not saying that it is going to be easy because I know from experience it isn't. But the more you try to talk to him about things the farther away you are pushing him.

[phillysteakandcheese]

Sounds like a lack of mutual respect on both parts.

Everyone needs some space, and the ability for things they are doing to "go long" sometimes. However - along with that goes being reliable, and a person that can be counted on to do what they say they will.

You boyfriend was obviously being disrespectful of your time and feeling when he broke his commitment to spend time with you.

You also crossed a line by saying obviously hurtful things to exact revenge on him.

Both of you are playing a "pissing game" of who is more head strong. Both of you need to drop the stubborn attitude and genuinely try to be respectful of each other. If you both keep playing the game, both of you will loose.

[J_9]

Red flag #1

We both are pretty jealous

Think carefully if this is how you want to spend every day for the rest of your life. There is a reason they call jealousy the Green Eyed Monster. Because it is a monster that will ruin every relationship.

Red flag #2

I wasn't very happy about that because I knew that I was going to be waiting all night for him to get to my house

You should be happy that he has friends and hobbies. If he concentrates all of his efforts on you that is very unhealthy. It is the healthy relationship that can have withstand friends and hobbies. It makes a relationship grow stronger.

Red flag #3

which upset me even more

The relationship is about 2 people, not just you.

because he thought in his mind that it wasn't a big deal

This is not a big deal to men. Women put way too much importance on anniversaries. Men don't look at it in the same way we do.

got angry and told him to leave, and I had a few choice words. Well the next day he decided not to answer his phone or call me all day, and it upset me, well finally I got a hold of him that night and he was as rude as can be

Do you really blame him for being rude to you. You really weren't all that nice.

Well I ended up saying some really mean things to him that I did not mean at all, I thought by saying them he would actually want me back

You are kidding right? If someone is mean to me, I don't want to be around them at all. I don't believe that by being mean to someone they would actually want to be around.

You don't mention your age, but from reading your post it seems that you may be young.

It may be time to step back and take a look at yourself and what you really want out of life. I don't believe for a minute that this is how you want to spend every day for the rest of your life.

[LUNAGODDESS]

"...I really hurt him. He tells me to just move on because he doesn't want me to wait around when he doesn't know for certain that he is ever going to get back with me. I don't know what to do because I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him, he tells me to give him time, but it's so hard, what should I do? And do you think that he will take me back..."?

OK... your boyfriend is telling you... you are not the one... I am not interested in you... You are causing me pain... move on... please... move on. It does not matter what you want... you are making a lesser person of yourself... by chasing this man... he has not hit you yet... so do not place that thought in his head... you are becoming a stalker... get real with life young lady... leave the man alone... there are many other things that you can involve yourself in... something special like the fight to get rid of AIDS... Boys and Girls Club... Contact Red.com to see if there is anything else you can do... mentor young ladies about avoiding bad boys... focusing on the positiveness of self... find a new group of friends... if not one of your friends or associates... have not the courage to tell you to move on... or state that he is not worth the energy... especially your energy... then get rid of them... so... oh my God... go take cooking classes... meet a better directed person or people... do you have a job?

Oh course,. work on your esteem... and keep asking yourself this question... why - am - I - chasing - this - loser? I donot know you... but, I hope you are some body... ;)

[jay c]

Sounds like neither of you are ready for any kind of serious relationship like this. Get on with life for a couple of years before you think about getting so serious again.

[talaniman]

When emotions run high best to let the dust clear before trying to reason through this. Give him and yourself some space and time.

[s_cianci]

Well, unfortunately you gave him every reason not to take you back. Of course, he should have also respected your time instead of going hunting. It doesn't sound good to me. I'd break away from this guy, at least for a while. You need to set boundaries and he needs to respect them. This'll remove the need for you to use your "choice words" with him. All in all, I think you need to seriously reconsider this one.