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notthe1 · Jun 27, 2009, 03:48 AM

I was wondering if my b/f is dreaming about other women because I noticed that he reaches down there while asleep and does what I am not sure? But he often has a erection and I was wondering if its because he is dreaming about having sex with someone else. For the last month or so he has not want to have sex with me and when I mention it he has no real answer. WE got in a fight 2 weeks ago because I am sick and tired of him staying up all night pretending he is working but I believe he is watching porn and I know for a fact he is having sex with himself rather than with me he even admitted it. His new found best friend that he spends all his time with no matter how many times I told him how much this is bothering me his friend is very out going and very social and single. And the things that come out of his mouth about women in front of me bother me a lot . My b/f even takes him to work with him now for the past month actually when he started hanging out with guy is when he stopped having sex with me I hear his friend talking about women he'd seen while shopping. ( MY b/f goes to every target and walmrt and other department stores in the surrounding area like 6 or 7 different ones everyday evaluating them on X-amount of things so he spends time just walking around the stores checking things. They even know some of the women by name. This bothers me and when I talk to him about it he acts like here we go again and gets mad at me tells me I am tripping. So one night I had enough when he left for work with his friend was gone 8 hrs and yet had nothing to show for the time he was gone . Brought me flowers?? And tried to explain but I did not want to hear it I told him he was choosing his friend over me before this guy came along we use to mystery shop together and he paid me but now he'd rather take him and I noticed that he has a wandering eye more now and the thing that hurts the most is that when we got in a fight recently and I was accusing him that he must be gay that's why he'd rather spend all his time w/friend and thatr was the reason we don't have sex anymore he told me the reason he hasn't wanted to have sex is because I am a fat whore... And that him an his friend have to fine es they go and see. He told me the next day that he only told me this because I was saying he was a fag I am confused I don't know what to do I think he is not sexually attracted to me anymore and he really desires another woman but hasn't had the guts to tell me or maybe he did when he called me a fat whore

bronzebabe · Jun 27, 2009, 07:28 AM

Either he is sexually attracted to his "friend" or he IS having sex with someone else.
You need to sit him down and be calm and TALK. It seems like something IS going on, but we can't really tell you what.
The name calling, (fag, whore) should Stop. That is counter productive.

shazamataz · Jun 27, 2009, 08:11 AM

he told me the reason he hasn't wanted to have sex is because I am a fat whore

And you are staying with him why??

Seriously, even in a heated argument insults like this should not come up.

He does have a few things that are legit.
Knowing the girls names at the stores... well, I knew the airconditioning guy who came into my work but my boyfriend didn't make a big deal of it.
He went missing for 8 hours and bought flowers, this one could be taken either way, he could have been up to no good and knew it. Or genuinely lost track of time and was appologising.

You two need to either separate or sit down and have a long talk without fighting.
Make a rule that if either one of you raises your voice or insults the other you have to stand up and cool off before continuing.

smoothy · Jun 27, 2009, 11:00 AM

You have something more going on in this relationship that you either aren't telling us or are not aware of. Not saying its you, or its him... but there is another dynamic taking place here that's the root of the issue.

jenniepepsi · Jun 27, 2009, 11:24 AM

I have to agree with shaz here. I would NOT be in this relationship a moment longer if this is the way he speaks to you! You deserve better than being called a 'fat whore'

Even if you ARE overweight, obviously he doesn't not like it, and you will find someone who DOES. I am 5'3 and I weigh 250 (generally) and my husband loves every inch of me.

You do not need to be with a person who puts you down in this fasion

tej pratap sing · Jun 27, 2009, 11:45 AM

Hi
Do what he like in u before this problem . N try to take his full attention on u . When he is in happy mood tell him what u like in him n what bother u . Try to find out did he like other from his other close frind or any other reson.
Best solution is come to me n become g/f of me , he get jalues n try to snach u back from me... ha ha h ah a

jenniepepsi · Jun 27, 2009, 11:48 AM

Not very good advise tej pratap sing, and don't use text speak. Type clearly

Walter_Eg0 · Nov 22, 2009, 07:33 AM

Hello,
I hate to break it to you guys, but even the most perfect man fantasises or thinks about sex with other women. Whether he actions these thoughts or voices them risking hurting the person he loves are two completely different things. He is without doubt looking at other women and perhaps your relationship has gone stale a little. Just because he is out looking at the flowers doesn't however mean he is picking them. Sometimes all our friends are not savoury always remember that we are responsible for our own actions despite our company. So if he is out checking girls at the Wall mart with his friend he would be doing this anyway if he was alone... perhaps just not quite so vocally.
Calling him Gay and arguing about his relationship with his friend will not do you any benefit as it will just add to the "she doesnt understand me" feeling.
Perhaps lose some weight join a club and get some jealousy going. It is never hard even for a fat girl to get some loser to call her enough to make a guy jealous.